How funny is sarcasm?

What is sarcasm? Collins thesaurus: cynism, biting, backhanded, sneering, acrimonious; saying something but intending/meaning the complete opposite of what was said. "A cutting, often ironic remark intended to wound, a form of wit that is marked by the use of sarcastic language and is intended to make its victim the butt of contempt or ridicule." Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit someone smart has said. So, how is sarcasm funny? And who is laughing?

Some view it as harmless fun, and some are very good at coming up with sarcastic remarks, some find it hard to have a conversation without it, but, how often do the people who are at the receiving end of a sarcastic remark laugh?

I challenged one of my friends who view sarcasm as harmless fun to go one week without using sarcasm in his communication. Although he found it a stupid challenge, he agreed. The first day was very hard for him, he found that he was incorperating sarcasm in virtually all his conversations. The second day was somewhat easier, he was noticing his use of sarcasm before he spoke and could intervene. On the third day he was noticing and intervening, but now he found that he seemed to have run out of things to say.

       The fourth day, he spoke very little and basically just relayed information. On the fifth day of the challenge, he was very frustrated and thought the challenge nonsense, but his brother told me that he felt that he could talk with my friend (his older brother) properly for the first time. Sixth day, my friends girlfriend informed me that she felt "heard" by her boyfriend for the first time but unfortunately later that day, my friend aborted the challenge. "I don't care what people think, I like being sarcastic, I think it's funny, people just have to learn to take it" he said. Hmmmmm.......

Have you ever been on the receiving end of a sarcastic comment? Is sarcasm part of your communication style? So far it seems to me that usually the person making the comment is the one laughing, not so much the person on the brunt of it.

I have toyed with the idea that sarcasm is a way for someone to be nasty without having to deal with the consequences; "Hey, I was just joking, can't you take a joke?" they say when the person on the receiving end gets upset, angry or plain sad. So if the "joke" misfires, just blame the other person for having no sense of humour. Perfect!!, a way to be mean without any responsibility; if  the other person laughs, you're funny, if they get upset they have no humour...no wonder sarcasm is so popular.

Back to my friend who quit the challenge.....I asked him if he felt he had learnt anything from going almost a week without sarcasm. "Well," he said, "I have learned that some people can't laugh at themselves, they are too serious and get upset for nothing". I asked him if he was going to change anything about his communcation style, and he said:"Why should I, they're the one's with the problem, not me," as he winked and smiled a winning smile.

The english language lends it self to sarcasm, so many words are ambigous and just consider brit comedy, how much of it is founded on the ambiguity of the english language? I love brit comedy, Faulty Towers, Monty Python, Absolutely Fabulous etc. however, in day to day living, maybe there could be alternate ways for enticing laughter that doesn't involve putting someone else down.

If some one asks; did you like my singing? maybe not answer: "Don't quit your dayjob!", maybe evaluate how important your answer is, how serious the question was before making a comment.

Although many of us are armored to the hilt and wear masks, underneath there is still a fragile heart.