You step out of bed and you just know it's going to be one of those days. The first indication was that the alarm didn't go off, the second that you tripped on your shoes, the third when you couldn't squeeze any more toothpaste out of the tube, the fourth when you burned the toast, the fifth when you got stuck in traffic and the sixth was the phone call cancelling the appointment that you were rushing to get to in time. Does this sound familiar to you? Maybe there are variables, but basically, are some days destined to be "bad" days?
Is there such a thing as a bad day or is it all a matter of perception?
Have you noticed how when you're a bit down how many people seem to be offering suggestions for how to "fix" it? -"Snap out of it! There are others worse off than you, Why should you get off scottfree, Just get on with it everyone has bad days" they say. Is feeling a bit down, sad, quiet, depressed, dissappointed, low etc. not acceptable? Is the status quo for a human that of displaying contentment and an eternal "can-do" attitude? Is feeling sad only acceptable in the quiet of your own space? Is feeling disappointed contagious? Is feeling "blue" the wrong colour, maybe we should always feel crimson? :)
So, you're sitting in your car, stuck in traffic, it's noisy, smelly and you're feeling angry. You feel disrespected, inconviened, frustrated and a bit sad since you have been looking forward to your appointment. Strangely as it may seem, you realize that you feel a sense of loss and often this is when the battle between one's expectations and what really happens (= reality some may call it, I prefer not to use the word because it's highly dubious and subjective in my opinion) begins. It's been suggested that the level of difference between our expectations and what really is, determines how we feel about something.
Maybe we expect people to play fair, to obey rules, to be honest, to have certain work ethics, to show courtesy, to be loyal, etc. and if we feel that others fail in fulfilling those (to our satisfaction)we can often feel disappointed, let down.
So you were looking forward to meeting up with your friend, talk about the old times and reconnect, but your friend just cancelled the meeting (while you were already on the way!) without giving you a reason and now you're feeling disappointed and by the time you have untangeled yourself from the traffic and arrived back at your place, you're feeling "blue". What would you do in this situation?
Would you tell yourself that you'll suspend sentencing your friend until further information, would you go through a list of slights incurred by this friend on you before, would you feel angry, would you just dismiss all such thoughts, would you reach for a panecea, or would you go back to bed?
Perhaps all those responses are ok? Perhaps if we allow ourselves to feel what we feel intuitively and not immediatedly start to "edit" our responses (if we think we should) then maybe there's less chance of us being unwittingly held by them?
"Pain is a very efficient teacher" some say and maybe we shouldn't be in a rush to dismiss pain's lessons. Regardless of what kind of feelings we have, perhaps feelings tell us about us from the inside out.
Now, where did I put that B.B King cd?
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