Living in the Now...........where life happens

"If you worry about what might be, and wonder what might have been, you will ignore what is.” (Unknown)

What happened in the past...we cannot change.

What will happen in the future....we can but guess.

What we can affect is: The Now

We can learn from the past so that we can perhaps deal with the future in a more helpful way, but generally life........and living "happens" in the now.

The Past and the Future may seem like great "hiding spaces" at times; Whatever painful and traumatic experiences we have from the past, (or joyful and exhilarating), if we spend too much time there "hiding" from the Now, we miss out on actually living in the present. Similarly; if we spend most of our time in the Future and all that we hope to experience there, we miss out on the experience of life happening to us right now.

Why use the word "hiding"? An example: "When I tried doing xxx before it didn't work, so why do it now?" Hiding behind past experiences with unwanted outcomes, may perhaps seem as a more secure position rather than showing up in the Now and trying again. Similarly; Hiding behind a projected favourable outcome in the Future may seem a more secure position than showing up in the Now where disappointment is a possibility.

Eckhart Tolle writes this: "Have you ever experienced, done, thought or felt anything outside of the Now? Nothing ever happened in the past, it happened in the Now. Nothing will ever happen in the Future, it will happen in the Now." The Past is memory and the Future; anticipation.

"Where ever you are be there" or "Life unfolds in the present moment", affirmations to help us be aware of each moment as we live/experience it.

When I was working as a musician night after night, eventually, while driving to a gig, all I could think of was when I would be driving home again. Some of us go to work and fantasise about when we get our holidays, some of us go to school/studies and imagine the day when we have our last exam, some of us go to work each morning fixed on when we go home, and so on....basically, never really present in the Now. Perhaps some of us are stuck in how things used to be and find it hard to see things as they are now; "I used to be slim,(now I'm not) I used to be a great ballplayer, (now I'm not) I used to be popular,...etc.."

To assist us in living in the Now, there is something called "Mindfulness": a state of active, open, intentional attention on the present, becoming an observer of our thoughts from moment to moment without judging them. Little things can help us stay in the Now if we focus our attention on them; feeling the water on our bodies when we have a shower, focusing our attention on each bite of food as we chew, smelling the aroma of the coffee as we drink it, closing our eyes when listening to music allowing the music to fill our minds, and so on. For some of us focusing our attention on our breathing only for a few minutes here and there can be helpful in helping us to relax and worry less.

As I understand it, Mindfulness is not about where we've been or where we are going, rather it is about being aware/present of where we are already.

If we are finding that some aspects of our Past keeps us from moving forward in a positive and life affirming way, it may be helpful to ask ourselves why those things/events from the past matter to us now, is there a way to reinterpret those memories, can I accept what happened and still move forward? (Accepting is not the same as agreeing, in my view, more of an acknowledgement)

In my own life there where some places that were very painful for me to visit, so for a long time I avoided them until one day I decided to take my "power" back. I went to those places, allowed those painful memories to "flow" through me without lingering, then I said out loud "That was then, this is now, and now I take my power back and release those memories. From now on I will exchange those painful memories with this memory of me standing here strong, no longer that person".

For some of us the thoughts of what may happen in the future perhaps prevent us from experiencing the Now; a million "what-ifs" or "what-if-not's" distracting us from the present. If our focus/attention is on our current activity we can prevent our thoughts from rushing ahead, but if they do, then we refocus. (It may be easier to do this if we are not engaged in too many things at the same time.)

If you become inundated with distracting thoughts perhaps it may be helpful to question those thoughts? Example: Is there any truth to these thoughts? What are the facts? Do I know this for sure?

To live in the Now, to experience the moment as it presents itself; becoming aware of our internal "chatter" may be necessary, we may also need to take notice and savouring the "little" things around us in that moment; listening to the soundscape of where we are, observing without judgement, turning off our i-thingy's. Personally I have also found it helpful to carry around with me a "Gratitude Stone".

I found a small stone and on it I wrote "Gratitude". Realising how much I had to be grateful for I thought it good to remind myself of it everyday so I put it in my pocket as a reminder. Beginning the day with reminding myself of all the things I am grateful for has been a great tool for me to stay in the Now, perhaps.... it may be helpful for you too?

“Life is the thing that happens to you while you're regretting the past and worrying about the future.”

(Dylan Ozmore)

“Existing is going through the motions of life with no zeal and feeling you have no control; living means embracing all that this large world has to offer and not being afraid to take chances. The beauty of living is knowing you can always start over and there's always a chance for something better.” (J'son M. Lee)

 

(About the painting: This is one of a series of 5 paintings with the little girl. The girl in this one is holding a flag with the apple symbol, although with bones through it looks like a pirate flag. It represents ...........(insert here what you think)............)