Wednesday 18 June 2014

How to become a story teller.......



 
His head slightly tilted, sitting in his chair
He cuts a lonely figure; an old man with very little hair.
Day after day, and all day long
from early morning to evensong
There he sits
 an old man
pondering life
 and where its gone.

Image after image like on a big screen
memories roll by, reel after reel
Time; once a deep and endless ocean
silently slipping away without commotion.

Inside his mind, he is still so young
inside his mind, he is still so strong.
Outside his mind, the world has changed
Outside his mind, it's all so strange.

"Waiting in line at the shops, an older gentleman fumbles as he tries to find his wallet in his coat pocket. The people in line behind him impatiently stir. "Come on old man, we haven't got the whole day!" somebody shouts from the back of the line. The old man finally finds his wallet and with shaky fingers pulls out a bill and pays for his items.  Plastic bag with his purchases in his hand, he turns around, looks at the line of people, tips his hat while softly saying "I am so sorry for holding you up", then quietly exits the shop."
"There is a park bench under a large maple tree in the park and on it is a plaque with the words:  "In honour of Dorothy Schwimmel". On a hot summers day, I sit down for a rest. An elderly woman comes up to me and asks if I mind sharing the bench with her. "Not at all, be glad for the company", I answer. Before long we start a conversation. The elderly woman asks me if I would like to hear a story. "Please, I would love that very much," I answer. For an hour and a half I listen to her while she tells me the most amazing story of how she used to be a violinist in a symphony orchestra and travelled the world, how she raised three daughters who all became musicians, and how she lost her husband to cancer. She tells me how she has given lectures on the "language of music" in many cities, how she has visited many hospitals and given concerts for those on the oncology wards. She tells me how when she was just a small girl she had to play her violin for the entertainment of drunken Nazi officers at the Treblinka Concentration camp. After she finishes her story she gently smiles at me and says "Thank you for listening, I hope you have a nice day, enjoying every minute of it, because life is so short". She stands up, takes a few steps, then turns around and says "By the way, my name is Dorothy Schwimmel, I hope we meet again some day" then slowly walks away."
Some things we treasure more as they mature i.e. get older; such as wine, cheese, architecture, certain artefacts, music, art in general, and so on...but strangely the same is often not the case of human beings. How do we treat our mature/elderly people? In some cultures, the elderly play an important part and their stories are highly valued. In others, the elderly hardly count at all it seems.
Some will gladly spend a huge amount of money for a "good bottle" of wine, but have no "time" to spend on their elders. There are many good aspects to being young and full of energy, are there any good aspects to being "old"?
A few suggestions: While the body may be deteriorating, the mind and soul re-energises for some of us through the understanding of our time-limitations; our time on earth grows shorter.
No longer in a rush to accumulate "stuff", we  may have more time to work on our relationships and to use what we have learned along the way to improve those in need of attention.
"Hindsight" can help us make better(more helpful) choices in the present.
We may be able to see "the bigger" picture (the meaning/purpose) easier and for many of us quality may become more important than quantity. For some of us, our level of self-confidence may increase having "come out the other end" through difficult times. As we grow older, many of us become more interested in others, in supporting charities, joining clubs, and meeting new people through common altruistic goals. Understanding our time constriction, "little things" may become "big things", and big things may become little things. (Whatever our definition's of what we view "little" or "big")
Whether young or old, in my view validation is important for most of us, and with validation I mean
  the recognition and acceptance of another person's thoughts, sensations, feelings and behaviours as understandable to us. Although a person may do things at a slower pace, take more time to make a decision, need more time to give an answer, this in my opinion does not mean they are less worthy of our respect, consideration, or validation.
Before we had the written word, we had the spoken word, and people learned from each other through telling stories. This is still the case, we all have stories to tell, and stories to listen and learn from,  and the longer we live the more stories we have to share.
When we give of our time to listen to people telling us their stories, we validate them whether they are young or old. (Most of us probably enjoy sharing our stories with others so chances are that others feel the same way.)
Some of us tell our stories through writing books, making movies, writing songs, some tell stories through science, history, religious texts, discovery journals, news...media...
If we see value in a "mature" bottle of wine, in the "old" Masters, in ancient artefacts, in old buildings, old maps, old cars, etc.. may we not also see value in old(mature) people?
If mass media is to be believed, then being old is a bad, bad, thing. Wrinkles and increasing waistlines the enemy, receding hairlines and "muffin tops" unacceptable, so we are urged into denial by using product X, product Y,  just buy, buy, buy. Since ageing is inevitable and begins from the moment we are born, perhaps in these "enlightened" days of ours it may be helpful if instead of viewing ageing as a "bad thing" we would view it as a passage of gaining greater understanding?

"The spiritual eyesight improves as the physical eyesight declines." (Plato)

"Respect the elderly when you are young. Help the weak when you are strong. Admit your mistakes when you are wrong. Because one day you will grow old, become weak, and expect others to show you some respect."
Every human being is a story teller.

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