Love, what is it?

Love it seems, is experienced in many different ways but is there a common thread? Obviously I love my cat differently to the way I love my partner, my child, my family or my fellow man. Do all forms of love contain an element of seeking the others well being even if that may entail some form of sacrifice on our behalf? To truly love, is it necessary to be willing to forgo the demands of the ego?

Love for her child gave a mother the strength to lift something three times her own weight to save her. Love for his wife gave the husband the strength to quit his job and nurse his ill wife. Love for his friend gave the soldier the courage to run into a burning building and rescue him. Love for his music prompted the pianist to practise his instrument eight hours a day. Love for her job and the animals she cared for resulted in her family of dogs growing bigger and bigger. Love for his little sister urged him to let her have the last piece of candy.

Often when I ask people to define what "love" is for them, a common response is to assume I'm referring to love between partners. The "in-love" kind. There must be thousands upon thousands of poems, songs, books written on the subject......maybe its the type of love we experience most deeply?

Hmm...I can't see any possible way to discern such since love is such an individual experience.

I have noticed though that often expectations tend to slip in with "in-love" love; if you love me you will......trust, support, understand, be patient, forgive, apologise, wait, etc. etc. Although with friends we also have expectations; loyalty, honesty, respect, understanding and so forth. What about parents?

A certain amount of expectations as well I think: obedience, respect, consideration, to not shame....

So, what about pets? Sadly, we have expectations there too: obedience and loyalty.

Is there any kind of love free from expectations?

Is it possible to love without love returned? Strangely, yes.....if the ego is ignored and expectations set aside, humans are still able to love. C.S. Lewis calls this kind of love "charity"....love that does not seek it's own way, always forgives, endures, hopes and is long suffering.

The term "falling in love" sounds fragile, if you "fall" into love, do you just as easily "fall" out of love? Can we not choose to love? Can love be a matter for our will and not our hearts? Maybe both?

Or maybe its wanting, choosing, "falling" all at once? Loving which involves the "Eros" seems the most volatile kind of love, maybe that's why so much pen and ink(binary code)has been spent on trying to define it. Whatever love is, research has shown that mankind can not live without it, be it affectionate, charitable, "in-love" or friendship kind of love. In Cabaret Liza Minnelli sings: "Money makes the world go around, the world go around...", maybe we could exchange the money for love?

"Loving makes the world go around, the world go around..."