Speaking one's mind

Have you ever heard someone say: "It's a free country, I can say what I want..." I have, many times, but what does that really mean ? Can we say anything regardless of how that may affect the person on the receiving end of our words? Voltaire (paraphrased) said: " I disapprove of what you say but I will defend to death your right to say it." John Stuart Mills:"the only purpose for which power can be rightfully exercised over any member of a civilised community, against his will, is to prevent harm to others".     Is there a difference between "free speech" when we speak socially and when we speak politically? Every society seems to impose some form of limitations on free speech according to its competing cultural values but does it trickle down to the every-day living level? 

Should there be limitations, and if so, who will police them? Does free speech contain its own value or does it need an assumed notion of what constitutes "good"? Many questions arise as I ponder free speech so I will restrict myself to the individual, everyday "going-about-your business" level of communication. 

Let's say your friend have just had a new haircut and feels really happy with it; you think it looks terrible, will you tell your friend? Your sister has joined a church group though you were both raised as atheists, your best friend decides to vote for a party you both used to make fun of, you find out your boss is having an affair, your teenage daughter/son tells you she/he is going to Israel to live in a Kibbutz, your cousin converts to Islam; will you feel an urge to speak your mind? It can be difficult at times to not tell others where they are going wrong, making foolish decisions, not thinking straight, or not seeing the bigger picture, etc..

I often wonder why we feel a need to correct peoples opinions and not just listen to them. Take something simple like supporting different sports teams; "team A is much better than team B" says the team A supporter whereupon the team B supporter instantly retorts with " no they're not, team B has much more depth and more talented players" and so the dance goes. The chances of any of the supporters changing allegiances being very slim to none, could not the team B supporter have responded with: "I agree, there are some really good players in team A"?

"Speaking ones mind" may not necessarily mean all of it and all at once, maybe freedom of speech includes a certain amount of responsibility on behalf of the speaker to bear in mind the effect the words may have on the recipient or recipients. Perhaps on an individual level we need to be our own monitors to make sure we don't use the principle of free speech as a tool for intimidation, correction, humiliation or self-aggrandisement.

"Just a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down" sang Julie Andrews in "Mary Poppins",

maybe "just a spoonful of tolerance helps the world go around"?