Tuesday, 29 October 2024

Loving is easier when we let go of expectations.........


Have you ever heard of the term the ''Golden Rule''?
In short, one may call it a principle of reciprocity
as in: Treat others as you would want others to treat you.

Many view it as a culturally universal ethical tenet.
That is, regardless of nationality, religion or political
''flavour'', it is a fundamental human-made concept
/construct that helps us to truly consider the well-being
of others.

The ancient Greeks thought of the Golden Rule
as especially fundamental to one of four kinds of love
(Eros, Storge, Agape, Philia) that they named Philia.
Philia represented a kind of love founded 
on loyalty, commitment, steadfastness and
an open and honest companionship/friendship.

Philia does not include romantic feelings, although,
at times a love that may have started out as a 
friendship/companionship kind of love can
deepen and transform into including romantic
feelings/emotions.
And, of course,.... the opposite.

My personal observation is that although any
kind of Love is often complex and comes with a 
myriad of obstacles to overcome, Romantic Love
(Eros) seem to be the trickiest kind of them all
due to the volatility of romantic feelings.
(We may ''fall in love'', but we may also ''fall out
of love''.)

However, I've come to hold the opinion that
us humans often trip ourselves up by investing
far too much importance on allowing expectations
to override our hearts aspirations. 

If you love me, then you................
If you call yourself my friend, then you.........
You're family so you should...........
Since I feed and take care of you Dog/Cat/ other animal,
you should obey me............
Since we are both humans you should at least........

Uncertainty is something us humans don't like much
and to love often includes an element of vulnerability,
openness and trust and this, this we often experience as
very risky business.
Although we often probably do not think of love
as transactional in nature, (as in: as long as you love me, 
I will love you back.) letting expectations
take control of our feelings of love with demands of
those expectations being fulfilled often tend to
result in more of a transaction rather than a mutual
exchange of love.

Another aspect of love I have also been pondering is
how easy it can be to forget that for anything alive
and or living to flourish and grow, is that it needs
nurturing, a tending to.
Alas, here comes the Golden Rule.

Because I love you I will.........
Dear friend, I so appreciate and love you.........
You're family and though we don't see eye to eye
on everything, I do still love you.......
You're a good doggie, kitty, and because I love you I will........
Madam/Sir, you look tired, will you let me help you........

Any kind of love expressed comes with the potential
and or possibility of rejection.
However, those in the know reckons that love
is not an emotion/feeling, but an enduring state of
mind in which we consistently care for the well-being
of others and may I also suggest, all the critters and
other living things that share
this planet with us.

''Ask not what Love can do for you,
ask what you can do for Love.''
(Citizen Z and JFK)

''Mankind is the game of risk as played out
on a planet it calls Earth.''
(Citizen Z)


about the image: acrylic on large canvas, some editing in
Elements


 

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