Tuesday, 5 November 2024

Unconditional love.......is there such a thing



Some say that love is of paramount importance
for all human beings.
Some say that human beings are born with
with an instinctual capability to love and to be loved.
Some say that love is an inherent human trait,
biological in nature and with mechanisms that makes
it possible for us to be compassionate, caring, and
nurturing toward each other.
Some say that love like many other emotions/feelings,
 is able to bring joy and elation, but also pain and suffering.
Some say that most kinds of love comes with an element
of risk.
The risk of rejection, loss, grief, disappointment
 and unfulfilled expectations.

''Loving can cost a lot, but not loving always costs
more, and those who fear to love often find that
want of love is an emptiness that robs the joy
from life.''
(Merle Shain)

Some say that motherly love is the strongest
and purest type of love of all......
Some say that motherly love, whether reciprocated or not 
is foremost concerned with her offspring's
well-being, needs and safety.
However, some do ask........is this really true for all mothers
 or is this perhaps a cultural trope(figure of speech)?
The way we view motherly love, is it not perhaps
highly influenced by our own lived experiences and
the culture in which we grew up?
Actually, come to think of it, how we view love,
any kind thereof, as far as I can ascertain
is probably also highly influenced by our own lived experiences 
and the culture in which we grew up (and maybe still are).

Is pure (without expectations) love even a possibility
for human beings? 
Since I was a teenager I have pondered this. 
Finding a definitive answer has proved fruitless.
The closest I have come to an answer
 is what some call ''unconditional love''.
Some say that ''unconditional love'' is a ''pure love'' as
it is supposedly founded on ''loving someone or something'' 
without any thoughts of reciprocity.
Are we capable of doing this?
Can we maintain feelings of love if whoever or whatever
we love rejects and denies our very existence?
Perhaps parental love IS the closest kind of love
we can call ''pure/unconditional''?


Motherly love

Child, I love you, but your screaming for
hours on end is tearing me apart.

Child, I love you, but you putting everything
in your mouth has got me me frantic.

Child, I love you, but you refusing to sleep
 has got me feeling like the walking dead.

Child, I love you, but the time has come
for you to learn new things and play with others.

Child, I love you, and I know you're scared
but trust me on this, this passage too will pass.

Child, I love you, so if you need to leave,
then leave, but always know, you have a home.

Child, I love you, and I love your children too.
In truth, no matter what you do,
I will always, always, always, love You.

*

Perhaps a mother's or father's love for
their children is as close to unconditional
and pure as a human being can muster.
However, each stage a child goes through on their way to 
becoming self-reliant adults often brings with it a spectrum of
emotions ranging from joy to despair for
his/her/their responsible care-takers.



Like a kaleidoscope's image shifts with every
turn we make and thus creating new images, in my view,
so does our experience of love and loving change
with every experience we have with that which
we call love.

''Love is the the soul's light,
the taste of morning,
no me, no we,
no claim of being.''
(Rumi)


about the images: Top: ''A mother's love'',  felt texters on cardboard
Bottom: "Kaleidoscope'' water colour on paper

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