One by one the baby turtles were snapped up by predators. Hundreds were decimated to a few. A bystander watching a woman assisting the baby turtles by gently carrying them one by one to the ocean, walked up to the woman and asked: "What's the point of what you are doing, what difference does it make if you rescue a few of these turtles?" The woman turned around and looked at the man and then answered: "Well, it makes a big difference to this little one" then she walked to the water where she released the baby turtle.
Have you ever experienced times in your life when you have felt helpless? "Hmmm...helpless in what way?" you may ask. While shifting a piano with a friend I suddenly lost my grip and the piano came crashing down on my left foot.....no matter how hard I tried I couldn't lift it...I was helpless...until my friend came around to my end of the piano and helped me lift it off my foot. I recently had a conversation with a friend who told me that he felt utterly helpless to change the situation he was in, and due to his feelings of helplessness, he felt depressed.
Physical helplessness may be quickly fixed with an influx of physical strength/help, but what about emotional helplessness?
First I looked up: Helpless = unable to help oneself/others...or = lacking support, or = powerless, or = defenseless, or = weak/dependent....the more definitions I looked up the more puzzled I became...was there a slight twinge of disapprovement hidden in the definitions?
Next I searched for "emotional helplessness"......lo and behold, more bewilderment.
Attached to the word "emotional helplessness" very often was the word "learned".
This led me to ponder what different kinds of experiencing "emotional helplessness" there were; so there is "learned emotional helplessness", but what about "circumstantial emotional helplessness" or "adapted emotional helplessness", or just plain "I-feel-so-emotionally-overwhelmed-right-now-that-I-feel-helpless-to-affect-any-change" emotional helplessness"?
Is being emotionally competent a "natural/common" state of being/behaviour and so any deviations from such becomes "learned"?
Hmmm...........
Perhaps we can learn to become "emotionally competent" even though we may struggle with feelings of helplessness?
Are there some steps one can take to overcome feelings of helplessness?
I believe there are.
My suggestions are as follows: What are the issues over which you feel helpless? At times being able to define the issues clearly and precisely can help us establish what we know to be true compared to what we believe to be true. (Being told by a trusted doctor that you have "xxx-disorder" is different to believing that you do because your dad did.)
Share your concerns with someone; getting a different perspective can be very useful/helpful.
At times it can be easy to get stuck in a pessimistic loop when we feel helpless; sharing our concerns with someone with an optimistic disposition may assist us in entertaining new possibilities.
For some people it can be helpful to set goals.
"Of the issues that I find problematic, are there perhaps some that I can do something about?
What do I need to do to affect change?"
Sometimes even the smallest of successes make a big difference in achieving a sense of hope and empowerment.
"Start by doing what's necessary; then do what's possible; and suddenly you are doing the impossible." (Francis of Assisi)
Strange though it may seem, when we shoulder the responsibility for our own lives,
an amazing sense of empowerment often follows.
“Don't be satisfied with stories, how things have gone with others. Unfold your own myth.”
(Rumi)
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