Are you wearing tinted glasses? Teddy talks....

 

Have you heard the expression "he/she was wearing rose coloured glasses"?

If not, then let me offer a brief definition: the term is commonly used as a way of saying that someone is a bit too naïve, innocent, or overly optimistic. (Basically, for some it may be seen as an insult, although perhaps for some, it may be viewed as a compliment.)

What we "see", is often affected by our biases. Bias? A definition: Bias; a particular tendency/inclination/point of view so strongly held, that it makes it difficult to consider other possible points of view.

The tricky thing with biases is that we are not always aware of having them.

According to some research, our biases are formed very early in our childhood and they can become so deeply ingrained in our minds that they become  virtually "invisible" to us.

To make the biases "visible" to us, it can be very helpful to ask ourselves: why do I hold this view? how did I come to hold this view? is this view founded on my own experiences? is there perhaps another way to view this?

Am I wearing any kind of "glasses" through which I view the world?

As an experiment, why not try this: Sunglasses have different coloured tints that vary from yellow, orange, green, brown, blue, and variations thereof. Try different colours and ascertain if the different colours affect the "mood" of your impression of what you see.

(Often we tend to have a preference as to which tint we feel most comfortable with and in my case, I prefer the brownish tints. What is yours?)

If there are "rose-coloured" glasses, perhaps there are also "gloom-coloured" glasses?

If someone wearing rose-coloured glasses is overly optimistic, perhaps someone wearing gloom-coloured glasses is overly pessimistic?

When my son was going through a particularly difficult period in his life, he would phone me all hours of the night, drunk, distraught, angry, sad, and often times, incoherent. This happened so often that I began to have anxieties connected to the sound of a phone ringing; any phone, anywhere, anytime. The sound of a phone ringing became synonymous with some form of disaster, suffering, and unmitigated fear; I donned (put on) the gloom-coloured glasses. Wearing those glasses on and off eventually led to me wearing them all the time, although by this stage, I was no longer aware of doing so.

At times, we can get so used to thinking along particular lines that we may find it hard to even entertain the possibility that there may be other possible lines of thinking. Our way of viewing something a particular way, becomes "the truth";  blue tinted glasses only offer the right light.

(Which can be tricky when it comes to getting along with others who may be wearing orange, green, brown or even rose-tinted glasses.)

Becoming aware of that we perhaps view the world, our experiences, through "filters" (tinted glasses) can be helpful, because we then have the opportunity to choose to affect a change.

We can try different "tints"; if I am more optimistic, how does my situation look then? ... if I consider another way of interpreting what person xxx said, how will I feel then?.... if I choose another way of responding to zzz, what will happen then? .... are there other ways of viewing this?.... et cetera.

What if we don't want to change, what if we are happy sticking with our gloom-tinted glasses?

Then gloom is what we will see.

And if we are happy sticking with rose-coloured glasses?

Optimism, hope, and opportunity is what we will see.

 

“The eye sees only what the mind is prepared to comprehend.” (Robertson Davies)