When we are focused, we direct all our attention and energy to that which we are focused on, which often is very helpful, however, at times it may be less helpful and more of a stumbling block.
For a person wanting to perfect a skill, staying focused is necessary, for anybody involved in any difficult or complicated operation, staying focused at the issue at hand is essential. (Although even a simple task as threading a needle still requires focused attention.)
My use of the term focus in this post is to liken it to a telescope; what is outside of the centre of focus is "blurred" and virtually non-existent to the person with the telescope.
Sometimes we can become so focused on what we want that we don't see or appreciate what we already have, we can become so focused on past experiences that we don't recognise what we are experiencing right now.
Have you heard of the term Rumination? A quick definition: "compulsively focused attention on the symptoms of ones distress, and on its possible causes and consequences, as opposed to its solutions."
Extensive research on the effects of rumination(negative rumination, dwelling on past negative experiences) show that it affects our ability to problem-solve. When we ruminate we tend to focus on the "bad" stuff that happened and the "good" stuff happening right now remains blurred and out of focus.
Some of you may say at this point: "But there was no good stuff, it was all bad!" which brings me to the subject of "shifting focus".
"The man complained of having no shoes until he met a man with no feet." If we ruminate, we often tend to ask ourselves abstract questions such as: "Why me? Why do these things always happen to me? What's wrong with me? Why is coping so hard for me?"...and so on. At times when friends offer suggestions of possible solutions, a ruminator often responds with: "There's no point, Why? Nobody cares any way, it doesn't matter, nothing matters", and so on.
When we ruminate; replaying in our heads situations and feelings from the past over and over with no chance of changing the actual outcome(we can only change how we view the situation); we can become stuck in a cycle of feelings of hopelessness, sadness and or a sense of powerlessness.
Ruminating often has a tendency to make that which we ruminate over seem more and more true with the consequence of leaving us less and less room for reinterpreting our experience of those events/situation/feelings.
If we shift our focus from "replay" and instead ask ourselves what we can learn from our past experiences that we can use to improve our current situation, we may be able to brake the rumination cycle.
Being in a constant "replay" mode we are not able to live in the present, which may prevent us from being able to actually experience what is happening to and in us this very moment. When I was a kid I was severely bullied through many of my school years; (many people share that experience) but I decided to leave that in the past because it happened and no matter how unfair or mean spirited it was, life and living takes place in the moment so reliving or obsessing over it, I regarded as pointless. My focus instead was on becoming a musician so my "now" was jam-packed with learning, practising, and studying music i.e....I chose to focus on what I could do rather than what couldn't be changed.
To shift focus we may need to replace some of our thinking habits and we can begin by asking ourselves: "Is this a fact or an opinion?"
Do I have a mental filter? Am I seeing things thru the lens of pessimism and negativity?
Am I engaging in mindreading, believing that I know what others think?
Do I compare myself to others and always somehow fall short?
Do I hold myself at blame for things regardless of whether I am or not?
Do I tend to make mountains out of molehills; exaggerating the negatives and downplaying the positives?
Just because something feels real, does that actually make it real?
Do I make snap value judgements rather than considering the possibility that there are other ways to view xxx that are equally warranted?
Do I make snap value judgements rather than considering the possibility that there are other ways to view xxx that are equally warranted?
The Dalai Lama has this to say: “The way to overcome negative thoughts and destructive emotions is to develop opposing, positive emotions that are stronger and more powerful.”
Easier said than done perhaps, but "every journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step" Confucius says.
So, lets begin.
Step 1. Look for positives
Step 2. Count your "blessings" (good health, good friends, good hair, etc.)
Step 3. Acknowledge your strengths (everyone has some)
Step 4. Bad things happens to almost everybody, rather than dwelling on them, learn something positive from them
Step 5. Live in the now, "wherever you are be there", not in the past or in the future, life only happens now; the past is gone and the future isn't here yet.
Think of a kaleidoscope; every time you twist/move it, a new image appears, the same bits just arranged differently.
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