Searching for hope.......

 

“Hope is the thing with feathers

That perches in the soul
And sings the tune without the words
And never stops at all.” (Emily Dickinson)

Hope says: "But what if, maybe, perhaps, it could happen, it entertains the possibility in spite of  obstacles". Sometimes the term "all hope was lost" is used; could that mean that we first had some but we lost it, could it mean that for a human being to hope is a default position, could it mean that hope always abounds and we just have to find it, is hope in our DNA?

Searching for definitions of hope it dawned on me that most of them had something to do with expectations, objects, or activities in the future. Hope, it seems, looks forward. Often hope is defined as a feeling/emotion, but is hope really a feeling or is it possible that hope is also a cognitive process (thinking process)?

Feelings at times can be very difficult to understand and or control, whereas how or the way we think, we can dissect, analyse and affect. Perhaps we can train ourselves to be more hopeful by thinking more hopeful thoughts?

Maybe at this time it would be good to talk about the opposite of hope; hopelessness.

If hope looks forward does hopelessness look backwards?

"It will not work, it hasn't so far, he/she will leave because that's what happened last time, I didn't succeed last time and I probably wont this time either, I tried to quit but couldn't manage it why should it be any different this time," and so on.

Perhaps hopelessness, like hope, is the result of how we think about things?

If we think that we are alienated, powerless, helpless, crushed, untalented/skilled, under valued, that the planet is doomed etc. chances are that we will feel/experience hopelessness.

If we are experiencing hopelessness, it can be helpful to get out of our heads and question whether our "inner reality" is really a true reflection of the outside world because

often the information that we stick to, or is attracted to, is information that verifies our opinions; selection bias, confirmation bias, focusing effect, hind-sight-bias, to mention a few. (Basically we ignore the "good" news and only remember the "bad". You can read more about this in the post titled "You want change? Change perspective")

People die every day but people are also born, people get sick every day but people are also healed, there are people starving every day but there are also people feed, there are people getting divorced every day but there are also people getting married, there are people losing jobs everyday but there are also people finding jobs, and so on......Hope as far as I see it, is not unrealistic optimism, or "false", or using "rose-coloured" glasses, or ignoring the "bad stuff", hope is like love.....essential for the co-existence of living beings. And like love, hope is very hard to define specifically, but like with love, its transformative quality can be seen generally.

Would you like to feel more hopeful? Try this.

Turn it off.

It? The 24/7 News, the negative self-talk in your head, the regurgitation of all the things you did wrong or could have done better, or catastrophizing about the future.

Replace with.

Set goals, remember all the times when what you hoped for came true, watch funny movies as well as some news, seek out positive developments in science and medicine, find things you are grateful for, spend time with people who have a hopeful attitude.

Hope is like a muscle; the more you use it the stronger it becomes.

Hope is like chewing gum; it sticks and it stretches.

Hope is like love; its limitless.

"If you have made mistakes, there is always another chance for you. You may have a fresh start  any moment you choose, for this thing we call "failure" is not the falling down, but the staying down."

(Mary Pickford)

 

Although at times perhaps exhausting, hope is the antidote to despair.