''Can you tell me what that means please?
I'm not sure I understand,'' I asked.
''When we experience something we do so
cognitively and physiologically.
Cognitively, as in how we think about and interpret
situations, and physiologically as in how our bodies
respond/react to our emotions,'' he answered.
How our bodies respond?
Being (some say) a ''neurally diverse'' person, my brain
never stops with the thinking so whatever is going in
my body while I'm thinking, usually, I only discover after
the affect.
I first heard of Cognitive Behaviour Theory years and years
ago but I was instantly drawn to it and neurally diverse as I
(apparently) am, I found myself devouring book
after book on the subject.
CBT made, and still does make so much sense to me, but
what I have come to realize recently is that somehow I
seem to have overlooked/forgot about the body
sensation/physiological aspect.
I've probably read the line ''Be in your body'',
''Practice Mindfulness'' and the importance of ''Focusing
attention on what is happening in your body when
you feel xyz'' numerous times without actually
doing any such thing.
''Being in your body'', what does that really mean?
As far as I can ascertain it means that when we
experience anger, sadness, fear, worry, joy, etc. etc.
we don't just experience it with our thoughts but
also with our bodies.
Our heartrate may go up, we may feel weak in the knees,
short of breath, tight in the chest, dizzy, and or an urge to cry,
etc. to mention a few examples.
''Stop, stop. Slow down'', he said. Stay focused on what
is happening internally. Stay with your bodily sensation
right now.''
What was my bodily sensation?
Tears. I was perplexed.
Why was I crying? It felt as if my mind and
body were out of sync. My mind told me that
tears were unnecessary but my body ignored
the mind and the tears kept coming.
Have you ever experienced that?
You see something, hear something, remember
something, and then
seemingly out of nowhere tears well up?
What's your kneejerk reaction?
Do you try to suppress the urge to cry or do you allow it?
Personally, I learned very early in life to suppress my
tears and instead use my brain to figure out
how to disguise my true emotions.
According to those in the know, there are many
of us who grew up in social settings in which
tears, sensitivity, gentleness and kindness
were viewed as signs of weakness and therefore
such expressions of emotions were discouraged.
Insight: Maybe this may be a clue as to why
some of us may at times find it difficult to ''be in
our bodies''?
Emotional experiences, regardless of ''flavour/type''
is believed to consist of three different components:
It is subjective, it is physiological and it is a
behaviour/expressive response.
Some of us may find it trickier than some others
to stay in tune, connected and able to focus on
our internal bodily sensations, but if those in the know
are correct, we can learn how to get better at it.
''Emotions are not set in cement.
They come they, they go,
they stay only as long
as we allow them to.''
(Citizen Z)
about the image: acrylic on large cardboard
Title: ''Mia holds off turbulence''
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