Why do things have to go wrong?

So you have done all the right things, prepared to the best of your abilities, yet somehow things go wrong. "Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong" said Murphy. (Murphy's law)

Why is that?

And is it true or is it a matter of perspective perhaps?

A man rushes to the airport but doesn't get there in time. The plane takes off and an hour later it crashes. Or, a man rushes to the airport, but doesn't get there in time, the plane takes off and he misses his appointment for the new job. The job is offered to the next in line, and the man misses out.

There are probably numerous times in our lives when things have gone wrong due to unforeseen circumstances, reasons out of our control, that in hindsight seem to have been for the better.

Seeing the "bigger picture" can at times be difficult, what we experience in the "now" can be so powerful that the "smaller" picture may feel as if it is the only picture there is.

Of course, the future hasn't happened yet, and the past is gone, so now is really all we have, so no wonder really when we get upset when things go wrong, one may conclude.

I guess it may have a lot to do with "variables". A variable is something that can be changed, such as a characteristic or a value, a common term in science and maths, but I would like to expand the term to include people, people's behaviours, most things to do with humans even.

Whatever we do, in whatever area, if it includes human beings there is always a possibility for something going wrong. Human beings are not to my knowledge; infallible.

I have often experienced this as a performing musician; no matter how much we have rehearsed, prepared, checked and double checked, something more often than not,...goes wrong.

The bass player forgot his new strings, the drummer left his stick bag behind, the singer forgot his lyrics, the keyboard player lost her sheet music, the sax player forgot to bring fresh reeds, and so on.

And even when none of this happens, there's always the other things that can go wrong; the lead crackles, the amp stops working, the sound system loses power, the microphone doesn't work, et cetera. Chances are, that this probably applies to many, many areas of human endeavours.

My son recently did a gig that he had meticulously prepared for.

 He had spent hours doing everything within his power to make the gig a success, considered all angles, he was truly prepared.

However, there were sound system issues, some people were suffering from a lack of sleep, there were some communication issues, and basically it didn't go as he had planned. "It was horrible" he said.

None of it had anything to do with him, it was circumstantial, unknown variables.

May I suggest, that most of us have experienced something of this nature? Somehow, stuff just happened, and things went wrong.

Perhaps for many of us, our first "knee-jerk" response is to look for someone to blame,

but perhaps our expectations for perfection/blamelessness at all times is somewhat unrealistic? To blame? ( :)

Accidents do happen, mistakes are made, the unexpected happens, and so on.

Whether we blame someone/something or not, what happened happened, and what remains is what to do next. (Casting blame can seem attractive because it lets us of the "hook", we may even feel morally justified, however, that often entails disregarding any variables.)

As far as I can ascertain, even if and when we are without blame; when something goes wrong hanging on to blame often keeps us "stuck".

If we stay focused/stuck on blame we may miss an opportunity for personal growth, for exploring what our guiding principles in life are. (If others are always to blame, then are we not powerless victims unable to affect the outcomes in our lives?)

Many things happens in a life, some of them are expected, planned, anticipated, others are not; over the unexpected we have no control, but what we do have a choice in, is our choice of attitude.

When I spoke with my son about his gig, I suggested that perhaps instead of viewing it as "horrible" he could feel proud about all the hard work he had done, that he had achieved what he had set out to do; he did not fail or make any mistakes; variables happened.

Things go wrong, and sometimes those "wrongs" viewed from a hindsight perspective, can be
re-viewed as "rights".

Perhaps even using the terms right/wrong can be exchanged for "hoped for", anticipated, expected, (right) visa vie un-expected, less favourable, undesirable (wrong)?

As an artist I have often found that many of my "mistakes/wrongs" on the canvas have become my greatest and most expedient teachers. While running out of a particular hue/colour and yet eager to finish a painting I decided to mix in a lot of water; and hence discovered what glazing was all about. At first it seemed as if the very diluted paint was a mistake but as it dried and I repeated the process, I learned how to use the technique quite effectively.

"Acceptance of what has happened, is the first step to overcoming the consequences of any misfortune." (William James)

My son didn't achieve the hoped for outcome of his gig, but he has decided to view it with a positive attitude nonetheless.

Stuff happens. Whether we have planned for it or not. Control is an illusion, attitude a choice.
 

"When you blame others, you give up the power to change." (Robert Anthony)