Home is where the heart is.....

 

Going home....

What does "home" mean to you? A person, a neighbourhood, a building, a country, a feeling, a memory?

I have lived in so many, many places, with so many different people, that when I was asked : "and where is home then?" I had to answer "my home is in my heart". I have lived in the UK, USA, Sweden and now Australia, so now "home" no longer is a physical space but rather a "space in my heart, a "state of mind". "Home" for many is a place of safety and security, a place where one can be oneself, ones own domain; "I" rule supreme, a place where one belongs, a place of warmth and acceptance, and......insert here your own definitions......

Of course, for some, home is where the abuse takes place, the violence, the aggression, and the intimidation et cetera. Working for a year with people who were homeless, I realised that "home" is a very complex concept if one includes into the definition more than "an address".
(Not having a fixed address, I was informed by one of the homeless people; "is like not existing at all, like becoming invisible to the rest of society". In Australia, roughly 105.240 people are homeless, which is 0.5% of the population.)

Do many of us perhaps consider/view home as a "safe harbour" regardless of what we experienced as home when we were growing up?

"The strength of a nation derives from the integrity of the home." (Confucius)

"Where you are, that is home." (Emily Dickinson)

"The ache for home lives in all of us...the safe place where we can go as we are and not be questioned." (Maya Angelou)

Our concepts of home, how do they affect our expectations in life? Our concepts of home may nourish but perhaps also inhibit us; growing up in a safe and nurturing home environment often encourages trust, comfort, and a sense of safety; but if we grow up in a home constantly affected by disruption, chaos, hostility and "moving goal posts", we may become suspicious, find it hard to trust anyone/thing, and experience the world as an un-safe place. Or perhaps, regardless of our experiences of home so far, we may still long and or seek for our "safe harbour", a place where when we close the door, we feel safe, relaxed, accepted and emotionally at rest.

Home for some of us may perhaps also be another person. Sarah Darling sings in her song "Home to me": "Anywhere, anyplace I go
You feel like home to me
You feel like home to me."

Tyrone Wells in his song also titled "Home to me" sings as well: "you feel like home to me.
you're where I want to be.
oh, these windows and doors just don't do it no more.
you feel like home to me".

My son has a cat that lives with us; Lovecraft; recently it has come to our attention that if either one of us is not home at night, Lovecraft seems to become very unsettled. She will "stay guard" out front and wait for the return of the "missing" person, and only when the missing person has returned will she come inside and settle down. (Is it possible that a cat has a sense of "home" similar to a human?)

I first heard the line: "You feel like home to me" in a Missy Higgins song and the words spoke to me.

People(individuals) can feel like "home" I thought? I pondered it and realised that as a kid, mom and dad felt like home to me regardless of where we were. As married, my spouse felt like home to me. And now, when I can't find the blasted cat before bedtime, my home feels unsettled. Sheeesh!

Okay then, so far: there is home as in a particular place/space, there is home as in a state of mind, and there is home as an emotional state. To "feel at home" perhaps is to feel at ease, to be comfortable where we are, and to understand the context. If we search for "home" only in a building, we may discover that a house does not necessarily automatically turn into a "home", if we search for "home" only in another human, we may discover that humans often change and we may suddenly find ourselves "homeless", if we search for "home" as in a "mindset" only, we may find ourselves on shaky ground if an unforeseen tragedy strikes......so perhaps the saying: "Home is where your heart is" by Pliny the Elder is good advice?

In a moment of nostalgia I felt the urge to paint something that reminded me of "home" from my childhood in Sweden...and I guess no matter where I am, I still carry a small piece of Sweden with me in my heart, but I have learnt this: Wherever you are, be there.

"Where we love is home - home that our feet may leave but not our hearts.

(Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.)