Third day...still no sleep. He looked in to the deep, black waters of the river. His heart was racing, his thoughts in-cohesive snippets of reflections, his body shivering. He pulled his coat tighter.
The last few days had blurred into timelessness; he felt as if he was suspended in a gasp.
A heart is no match for a petrified mind, he thought. With fingers stiff as chop sticks, he searched his pockets for his cigarettes. The pale orange light from the lighter for a brief moment separated the grey of the night and suggested life. He inhaled, and as the smoke filled his lungs he could feel his heart slowing down. The thought of returning to his dingy, empty, apartment filled him with dread. There was a time when he couldn't wait to get home, but that was when she was there. Something behind him made a noise. He turned around and starred straight into the eyes of scraggly looking dog.
The dog just sat there. "Now, where did you come from?" he asked as if the dog could answer.
The dog didn't move. Slowly he approached the dog. Still no movement. Gently he stretched out his hands while muttering "there, there". The dog allowed him to pat it but made no noise. He searched for a collar but found none. "You look hungry", he said to the dog. "Maybe the dog is hurt?" he thought. He hunched down and gently began to stroke the dog's back. The dog whimpered and as he pulled his hand back he discovered blood on it. "Geez, you are hurt" he said to the dog, "I better take you to a vet." Carefully he lifted the dog into his arms and walked to the taxi ramp he had spotted earlier. "Take us to the nearest vet, please" he said as he sat down in the backseat of the taxi with the dog in his lap. The dog whimpered but it seemed as if it understood that he was trying to help it.
"Is this your dog?" the vet asked as she looked over the dog, "she's been badly beaten" she continued.
"No, it's not my dog, I just found her", he said, "will she be okay?" "I think so, but she will need some bandaging and antibiotics. Will you pay?" the vet asked. "Yes, whatever it costs," he replied.
"Wait here", the vet said and disappeared behind a swing door. He sat down on a plastic chair which had obviously seen better days and looked around the waiting room. There were fraying posters on the walls of a myriad of different animals and a few handwritten leaflets for missing pets. An hour passed before the vet returned with the dog. "I have sutured the cut and given her an antibiotic injection. She has bruised ribs and you will have to change the bandages everyday, but she will be okay." He paid the bill, bought a red collar and some dog food. When they arrived at his apartment, he told the dog that her name from now on would be Millie and then gently laid her down on the couch. Millie looked at him as if to say thank you and then settled in to sleep. Suddenly the apartment didn't seem so dismal anymore. He walked into the kitchen and instead of reaching for the usual single malt, he poured himself a glass of water. He walked to the living room window, lit a cigarette, and noticed that the sun was just about to rise. Millie's slow breathing filled his apartment with sounds of life and he could feel a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. He looked at the dog and thought; I think I can sleep now...a petrified mind is no match for a heart filled with love.
“Sorrow prepares you for joy. It violently sweeps everything out of your house, so that new joy can find space to enter. It shakes the yellow leaves from the bough of your heart, so that fresh, green leaves can grow in their place. It pulls up the rotten roots, so that new roots hidden beneath have room to grow. Whatever sorrow shakes from your heart, far better things will take their place.”
(Rumi)
One of the amazing aspects of love, is that it often has the ability to transform if we so choose. The kind of love I am speaking of here is love that is patient, kind, that hopes all things, endures all things, and that doesn't keep a record of wrong doings. This may perhaps be seen as a tall order for some of us, but in the face of the alternative; indifference, hate, envy, et cetera, consider this; love offers forgiveness, tolerance, compassion, empathy, and hope. Hate or indifference may also transform, but rather than a transformation toward greater understanding, tolerance, and hope, it can stunt our growth and potential for a rewarding and life affirming living. In the words of Anne Frank: "Whoever is happy, will make others happy too." Or from the words of Nelson Mandela:
“No one is born hating another person because of the colour of his skin, or his background, or his religion. People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite.”
"A petrified, hateful, revengeful, or envious mind is no match for a heart filled with love" (Citizen X)
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