Are you in limbo?

Have you ever come across the word liminality? I must confess that until very recently the term has not been included in my vocabulary, although the experience of it, has.

So what is it? According to some it comes from the Latin word "limin" which translates to "the threshold of a doorway", and liminality refers to a "threshold period". (For a more in depth inquiry look up Arnold van Pennep and Victor Turner)

Perhaps one could describe liminality as being between different life stages; ready to move forward, to cross from what we were to what we may become, yet  somehow stuck. (I guess one may liken it to a metamorphosis: from caterpillar > pupa > butterfly)

Murray Stein, Jungian Analysis, Analytical Psychology, has this to say:

“In the state I’m calling psychological liminality, a person’s sense of identity is hung in suspension. You are no longer fixed to particular mental images in contents of your self or others. The “I” is caught up in a field that it cannot control, whose patterns it does not recognize as “me.”

A woman, retelling her experiences and emotions after surviving aggressive cancer treatment and subsequent recovery, used the term "a sense of liminality" a number of times to define her experience. Perhaps there are other traumatic and difficult times in our lives that can be described as a time of liminality? Teenage years, losing a job, dealing with serious illness, the loss of a loved one, moving house, divorce, getting married, having a child, changing jobs, et cetera?

Something happens, the impact is such that we can no longer be who we used to be, neither can we be what we are to become, so we remain on the "threshold". It can be hard to make decisions when we are standing on the threshold; we may see a great many options and possibilities, but we must choose them before we know how they will turn out.

I recently had to undergo a fairly serious operation and while laying in the hospital bed ready to be cut open, I experienced a sense of being in a liminal space, i.e.; a transitional space.

I knew that my body would be different after the op, but I did not know how all the drugs would affect me, and I was very unsure of how my emotions would be affected in recovery. In as much as that we try to prepare for a myriad of situations and possible outcomes, life seems to include periods of liminality regardless. And perhaps that is a good thing? Standing on a threshold it may be easier for us to envisage more possibilities, and experiencing a sense of uncertainty may assist us in seeking for "roads less travelled" with more hope and less fear.

When in Copenhagen with my family when I was a child, we went to an amusement park which had a big roller-coaster ride. (Well, it seemed big to me at that time) I asked my dad if he was going to ride it, but he said no. "Why not?", I asked. "Because, strange as it may seem to you right now, there will come a time when it no longer seems like fun to you", my father answered. This seemed impossible to me, I could not envisage a time when riding a roller-coaster would cease to be fun.

As we grow, we go through many "rites of passages", many liminal stages.

Starting school > finishing school, graduating college > joining the work force, changing jobs, getting engaged > getting married, the birth of a child > parenting, retirement, et cetera.

Each time we find ourselves on a threshold, we have the chance to view it as an opportunity for growth, for insight and a greater sense of awareness.

Who we are may not necessarily have to be set in cement because when we go through transitional times; threshold/liminal times, we are offered opportunities to discover new aspects of ourselves.

When my son wanted to join a basketball league, my intention was to just take him for the sign-up but somehow and in a blur, I came away from the sign-up with a clipboard and the title "coach".

Although not very confident and with little knowledge on how to be a basket ball coach, I embraced the role and learnt some invaluable lessons. When in my 20's, I went to a jazz club to listen to some music....at three am I walked out of there as the bar manager. (No time for metamorphosis, I had to just flap my wings and fly!) Although a shy person, I learnt to overcome it.

Perhaps liminality can be viewed as pausing while we ponder, reflect and digest, or as an opportunity for the discovery of new perspectives and perceptions.

There is more than one way to live a life................

 

"There are things known and things unknown, and in between them are the doors."

(Jim Morrison)

"People have a hard time letting go of  their suffering. Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar."

(Thich Nhat Hahn)

People have a hard time letting go of their suffering. Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar
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There are known knowns. These are things we know that we know. There are known unknowns. That is to say, there are things that we know we don't know. But there are also unknown unknowns. There are things we don't know we don't know.
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/d/donaldrums148142.html#vVdXp5AxWKq4slDm.99

There are known knowns. These are things we know that we know. There are known unknowns. That is to say, there are things that we know we don't know. But there are also unknown unknowns. There are things we don't know we don't know.
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/d/donaldrums148142.html#vVdXp5AxWKq4slDm.99

There are known knowns. These are things we know that we know. There are known unknowns. That is to say, there are things that we know we don't know. But there are also unknown unknowns. There are things we don't know we don't know.
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/d/donaldrums148142.html#vVdXp5AxWKq4slDm.99

There are known knowns. These are things we know that we know. There are known unknowns. That is to say, there are things that we know we don't know. But there are also unknown unknowns. There are things we don't know we don't know.
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/d/donaldrums148142.html#vVdXp5AxWKq4slDm.99

There are known knowns. These are things we know that we know. There are known unknowns. That is to say, there are things that we know we don't know. But there are also unknown unknowns. There are things we don't know we don't know.
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/d/donaldrums148142.html#vVdXp5AxWKq4slDm.99