Am I my brothers keeper?

 

"The opposite of love is not hate" she said, "it's indifference".

"Indifference for others plight, for others misfortune, or for others heartache, indifference puts an "in" infront of human", she carried on.

"When you're sad you become heavy company" sang Joni Mitchell "Money come you've got lots of friends, coming round your door, money gone, spending ends, they don't come around no more" sang Billie Holliday.

Do we find "sad" people taxing? Do we prefer to avoid people with seemingly continous problems, mental health issues and other illnessess?

"Unhappy people are more demanding", some say, "than happy people".

Do you have a friend or relative who always seem to be struggling, who somehow always end up in a mess, who always is short on money, and who uses coping strategies that seem to land them in more trouble than help them?

Most of us do, although "always" is perhaps more of a point of view rather than the accurate state of affairs. Is it possible that some people for no reason of their own, face more hardship?

Is it possible that some people for no reason of their own, face less hardship?

"Don't judge a man until you walked two moons in his moccasins" suggests a Native American proverb. Are we maybe at times too quick with: "why doesn't he/she just.......?"

How often do we mistake a medical issue for a moral one?

Not long ago autism was regarded by the medical experts as parental failure, children with attention difficulties as a discipline issue, reading difficulties were often regarded as "not trying hard enough", addictions indicated failing will power, etc.etc. Today we have many names for "crazy".......bipolar disorder, anxiety disorder, multiple personality disorder, schitzoid personality disorder, PTSD, and many more which the DSM III identifies.

Does it make a difference what we call it? My suggestion is that it does. A leg in plaster is a more obvious, visual sign of an injury than a "broken" mind. Nobody expects a person with a broken leg to "snap out of it", which on the other hand is a suggstion often given to a depressed/unhappy/sad, person. Is it helpful to tell a person suffering with anxiety disorder to "just stop worrying", to tell a person with bi-polar disorder to "just relax and go with the flow", to suggest to a person with depression "just cheer up", to tell a person with schitzophrenia "it's all in your head", or to tell a person suffering with PTSD that "that was then, this is now, so just put it behind you"? 

A correct diagnosis (tag/name) helps us understand what our condition is, how severe it is, what the cause may be, and how to develop a treatment plan. None of the above mentioned illnessess are moral issues, they are medical issues, but often they are accompanied by moral implications. According to statistics, more than half of the people suffering with bi-polar disorder self-medicate as a coping strategy, which in turn may lead to moral consequences.

Do we imply moral weakness in a person with the flu? Do we subconsciously deduce moral decline in a person with migrane? Is a stomach ulcer the sign of a character flaw?

Ridicoulousness, we may think. Viruses, bacteria, bloodflow, have nothing to do with morals.

(Epilepsy was once considered as "demon possession", now we know it is a cronic neurological disorder.)

Caring for people suffering with mental health issues can be very confrontational, upsetting, conflicting,  and very threatening. Caring for people "down on their luck", "down in the dumps", sad, unhappy, morose, "prickly", much the same....

Caring about the plight of others necessitates courage and compassion, love and open-mindedness, patience and committment.

This is a matter for morals.

If your friend, brother, sister, partner, child seem sad......instead of asking "why are you sad?", we can ask "how can I help?"

Instead of asking "why don't you try.....?" we may ask "what have you tried so far?"

Perhaps if someone is crying we may offer a hanky and some silent compassion instead of words?

Perhaps if our "brother" is bent over by the weight on his shoulders, we offer to share the burden rather than contributing to it by: "See, I told you."

One of the good aspects of humanity is our ability to emphatise, one of the bad aspects is our tendency to judge others without having walked in their moccasins for two moons.

Am I my brothers' keeper?

We are all each others keepers, methinks.....   :)

 

"There is destiny that makes us brothers, no one goes his way alone; all that we send into the lives of others, come back into our own." (Edwin Markham) 

               "Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them we cannot survive."

If you want others to be happy, practise compassion. If you want to be happy, practise compassion." (The Dalai Lama)

(the painting was painted after having viewed footage from New Orleans after Katrina)