"Pain is a teacher, joy a friend", someone has said. What is pain? Does it come in different sizes, appearances, or is pain "one-size-fits-all"?
In medicine, pain is a sensation that hurts, physical discomfort. Essentially, pain is the way our brain reads the information about a particular sensation taking place in our bodies. The information is sent to the brain via nerve pathways.
What about psychological pain, which may also be called emotional pain, psychic pain, soul pain, or suffering?
Different words but basically the same unpleasant feeling. Another definition:
"a wide range of subjective experiences characterised as an awareness of negative changes in the self and in its functions accompanied by negative feelings, a diffuse subjective experience ... differentiated from physical pain which is often localised and associated with noxious physical stimuli."(Wikipedia)
Psychological pain, by some is believed to be a integral part of the "human condition".
As I am writing this I am suffering with pain in my shoulders. This pain has been my constant companion for the last two weeks, and so far I have not been able to find a remedy that will ease it. With interest I am noticing that something can begin as a purely physical pain but as it prolongs, it can also become psychological. Being in physical pain affect our psyche, but in what way it does so, is dependent on the sufferer.
We tell our children to not put their hands on the hot plate in order for them to not be hurt, to wear a helmet, to not run too fast, to watch where they are going, to not run with scissors, to not play with knives, to be careful when......xyz, etc.etc.
As parents we try to protect our children from pain in whatever way it may experienced, yet at the same time we know that pain is an important part of the human condition, so we tell cautionary tales.
However, most of those tales begin with "don't"..........and finish with ..."because.....you will end up hurt". Pain can be a very effective motivator for abstinence, abstinence of risky and potentially dangerous behaviours. Most of us prefer to avoid pain if we can, so the looming "because you will be hurt" is often a good deterrent. This works when we have a choice in the matter, what about when pain is inflicted on us for reasons we have nothing to do with?
Such as accidents, genetic dispositions, wars, natural disasters, or crime, for instance? On the way to a gig I was held up by a balaclava clad man with a very large hunting knife. He pressed the knife to my throat and demanded money. With a cold steel blade to my throat, I obliged and gave him what he asked for. No time for heroics, I had learnt in my martial arts class. "When weapons are involved, give them what they want, don't play the hero", my sensei had instructed me.
Those 30 seconds that expired when I was held up changed my sense of security and although I was not psychically hurt, psychologically I was.
Sometimes pain may be a passage that must be endured for something wonderful to transpire, such as in the case of the birth of a child. Women know that to give birth is painful, but the outcome potentially wonderful, so they endure (thank goodness, how else would the human species progress?). A "positive" pain, and an end result so great that the painful aspect of giving birth becomes a necessary and unavoidable passage. Although, for some once may be enough, and for others perhaps seven is the charm...
Besides from childbirth, is there any other "positive" pain? Growing, can be painful for some, yet it is a sign of the body maturing. Sore muscles after a decent work-out, for some is a positive pain. Having an infected wisdom tooth pulled out can be viewed for some as a positive pain. (A burst of pain to get rid of a long suffering one) Vaccinations, injections, setting dislocated limbs right, also bursts of pain to avoid potential long suffering in the future.
What about psychological pain then? Is there positive psychological pain?
Lets explore.
Change, in any size, shape or form, for many of us involve pain of some kind. "You have to change lifestyle or this will destroy you" says the doctor to the exhausted CEO suffering with anxiety attacks. The CEO takes the doctors words seriously and so cut down his/her hours at work and increase his/her hours at home. Six months later the CEO's relationship with the teenage twins has greatly improved, and every night the family talks about their days around the dinner table. The transition was turbulent and fraught with emotions, but when asked the CEO said it was the best thing he/she ever did.
Changing a potentially destructive behaviour pattern can be experienced as very painful for some of us, especially if the behaviour is our coping-with-life-strategy, but may I suggest it is a positive pain because changing something destructive into something constructive is a life affirming action.
Pain, is a signal........we do well not to ignore.
So, how is pain a teacher? Pain can help us become more compassionate, sympathetic, forgiving, understanding, accepting, tolerant, patient, with others.
Sometimes perhaps we need to experience a heartache in order to really be there for someone else, loose a loved one, hurt our back, loose a job, have a tooth pulled, be misunderstood, etc.etc. A personal experience with pain offers us insight and if we choose, an opportunity to support others when they suffer.
Pain can be a gift or a curse, you choose.
Pain can be a teacher or a closed book, you choose.
Pain can be a world of understanding or a solitary cell, you choose.
Pain can nuture compassion or foster bitterness, you choose.
Pain can motivate or separate, you choose.
"Bad things do happen; how I respond to them defines my character and the quality of my life. I can choose to sit in perpetual sadness, immobilised by the gravity of my loss, or I can choose to rise from the pain and treasure the most precious gift I have - Life itself." (Walter Anderson)
"Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your suffering" (Kahlil Gibran)
(about the painting: Its called "The Zip", pain pokes his head out through the fabric of illusion)
We tell our children to not put their hands on the hot plate in order for them to not be hurt, to wear a helmet, to not run too fast, to watch where they are going, to not run with scissors, to not play with knives, to be careful when......xyz, etc.etc.
As parents we try to protect our children from pain in whatever way it may experienced, yet at the same time we know that pain is an important part of the human condition, so we tell cautionary tales.
However, most of those tales begin with "don't"..........and finish with ..."because.....you will end up hurt". Pain can be a very effective motivator for abstinence, abstinence of risky and potentially dangerous behaviours. Most of us prefer to avoid pain if we can, so the looming "because you will be hurt" is often a good deterrent. This works when we have a choice in the matter, what about when pain is inflicted on us for reasons we have nothing to do with?
Such as accidents, genetic dispositions, wars, natural disasters, or crime, for instance? On the way to a gig I was held up by a balaclava clad man with a very large hunting knife. He pressed the knife to my throat and demanded money. With a cold steel blade to my throat, I obliged and gave him what he asked for. No time for heroics, I had learnt in my martial arts class. "When weapons are involved, give them what they want, don't play the hero", my sensei had instructed me.
Those 30 seconds that expired when I was held up changed my sense of security and although I was not psychically hurt, psychologically I was.
Sometimes pain may be a passage that must be endured for something wonderful to transpire, such as in the case of the birth of a child. Women know that to give birth is painful, but the outcome potentially wonderful, so they endure (thank goodness, how else would the human species progress?). A "positive" pain, and an end result so great that the painful aspect of giving birth becomes a necessary and unavoidable passage. Although, for some once may be enough, and for others perhaps seven is the charm...
Besides from childbirth, is there any other "positive" pain? Growing, can be painful for some, yet it is a sign of the body maturing. Sore muscles after a decent work-out, for some is a positive pain. Having an infected wisdom tooth pulled out can be viewed for some as a positive pain. (A burst of pain to get rid of a long suffering one) Vaccinations, injections, setting dislocated limbs right, also bursts of pain to avoid potential long suffering in the future.
What about psychological pain then? Is there positive psychological pain?
Lets explore.
Change, in any size, shape or form, for many of us involve pain of some kind. "You have to change lifestyle or this will destroy you" says the doctor to the exhausted CEO suffering with anxiety attacks. The CEO takes the doctors words seriously and so cut down his/her hours at work and increase his/her hours at home. Six months later the CEO's relationship with the teenage twins has greatly improved, and every night the family talks about their days around the dinner table. The transition was turbulent and fraught with emotions, but when asked the CEO said it was the best thing he/she ever did.
Changing a potentially destructive behaviour pattern can be experienced as very painful for some of us, especially if the behaviour is our coping-with-life-strategy, but may I suggest it is a positive pain because changing something destructive into something constructive is a life affirming action.
Pain, is a signal........we do well not to ignore.
So, how is pain a teacher? Pain can help us become more compassionate, sympathetic, forgiving, understanding, accepting, tolerant, patient, with others.
Sometimes perhaps we need to experience a heartache in order to really be there for someone else, loose a loved one, hurt our back, loose a job, have a tooth pulled, be misunderstood, etc.etc. A personal experience with pain offers us insight and if we choose, an opportunity to support others when they suffer.
Pain can be a gift or a curse, you choose.
Pain can be a teacher or a closed book, you choose.
Pain can be a world of understanding or a solitary cell, you choose.
Pain can nuture compassion or foster bitterness, you choose.
Pain can motivate or separate, you choose.
"Bad things do happen; how I respond to them defines my character and the quality of my life. I can choose to sit in perpetual sadness, immobilised by the gravity of my loss, or I can choose to rise from the pain and treasure the most precious gift I have - Life itself." (Walter Anderson)
"Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your suffering" (Kahlil Gibran)
(about the painting: Its called "The Zip", pain pokes his head out through the fabric of illusion)
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