-He was so good-looking that my eyes hurt
just looking at him, she said.
-Really? What about him made him so painfully
good looking? I asked.
-I don't know exactly, it can be hard to pinpoint.
Perhaps the symmetry of his features? she answered.
-Perhaps. I think I've heard it said that us humans
find beauty in patterns and symmetry.
-There's also a saying that '' beauty is in the eyes
of the beholder'' isn't there, she said.
-Indeed. Although, not only in the eyes methinks.
I think the same goes for ears, touch, taste and smell as well.
-How do you mean?
-Music is often described as beautiful as in the
saying: ''The true beauty of music is that it connects
people.'' (Roy Ayers)
A nice soft, velvety piece of fabric can feel
beautiful to the touch. The fragrance from a
bouquet of freshly picked ''Lilies of the Valley''
may excite our sense of smell and make us exclaim:
The flowers smell absolutely beautiful!
And a ripe, juicy navel orange segment may
make us close our eyes and just focus all our
attention on the beautiful taste it brings
to our taste buds, don't you agree? I asked.
-I do, she said and then continued; now lets go
and get ourselves some navel oranges, please.
Language, so says those in the know,
is not set in cement. It keeps changing
with time, in time with the time in which it is spoken.
An aspect to the English language that I
really like is the use of bridging words, also
called ''cushion words''.
Bridging words(softening words) can be used
to politely transition words that could be
interpreted as negative or critical to words
that are softer, kinder and more supportive.
They can also be used to help keeping a
conversation flowing without accidentally/
unintentionally incurring heated emotions.
Swedish is my first language, English my second.
However, I have lived here in Australia for so long
now that English has become my first language.
Swedish, in my opinion, is a very direct language.
Too much so, which I've been told many times.
This habit has taken me many years to overcome
in order for me to now be able to make good use
of ''bridging'' words.
''Toning down'' my language is good for speaking
English, alas, not so good for speaking Swedish.
Now, when Swedish relatives or friends visit
me, they often laugh at my in their opinion,
very antiquated and back-to-front Swedish.
When I was a kid I was bullied in school
every day until I started grade 8 (High School).
Teachers viewed me as strange but smart,
the students called me weirdo, stupid and dumbass.
Sometimes it made me feel very lonely, alienated
and inadequate but my connection with music
(all genres)was so strong(still is) and fulfilling that
it almost always(yes, always!) comforted and
provided me with a world that I knew I belonged to.
Although I have never viewed myself as a victim,
those early years did leave scars that every now and
then affects my mental health.
Watching a doco on how the view on mental health
has developed through the years have made me aware
of how much the terminology and language around and
about mental health issues have changed. (Thank goodness!!!)
Bridging words have been so useful and helpful
for me to be able to communicate more effectively
with other people that I thought maybe you would
appreciate me sharing some of them with you.
Instead of:
Boring >use> Interesting
Difficult >use> Challenging
Weird >use> Different, Unique
Frustrating >use> Challenging
Complicated >use> Intricate
Long-winded >use> Thought-provoking
stubborn >use> Goal orientated
demanding >use> detail-orientated
narrow-minded >use> conventional
I would also like to suggest that the use of
the word normal, the prefix ''over'' and
the word ''too'' as in for example:
over-sensitive, -thinking, -powering, -estimating,
too introverted, -sensitive, -complicated, -difficult,
and so on and so on and so on be exchanged for
softer/cushion/bridging words.
There are many options these days for far less
stigmatizing words for us to use when communicating
with each other such as: objective, supportive
and descriptive terms. A person's behaviour often
offer us a clue as to what need might be unmet.
Instead of telling someone to not ''over-dramatize''
xyz.......try: ''You seem upset. Would you like to
chat about it?''
''I am wondering if you are feeling a bit anxious?
Is that so?''
With the help of friends and
professionals I have now come to
understand myself as a neurodivergent
creative/artistic person.
And I'm very happy to belong with
other neurodivergent creative/artistic persons
cause I know there's lots of us.
It is possible to disagree
without being disagreeable.
It is possible to have an opinion
without being opinionated.
It is possible to be knowable
without being a know-it-all.
It is possible to turn words into weapons
but why on earth would you?
(Citizen Z)
about the images: ''La Belle Anthony''
Photo some editing in Elements
''Citizen Z''
Photo, editing in Elements
No comments:
Post a Comment