This post is about........well, read it and find out

Although I have never really put in to words, and

I'm not even sure that I can put in to words, what

happens when suddenly an artistic idea shows up and

demands attention..........yet, I am going to try...... later.

There have been times in my life when I have

experienced events that no matter how hard

I have tried to find logical and reasonable

explanations for those events, I've come up short.

Some things, I have concluded, belong in the

inexplicable category/box.

Ever since my son was born he has

had health issues. The number of times I

have had to rush him to the Emergency

department are far too many to remember

and far too upsetting. Sitting alone at all hours

of the night on a hard plastic chair in an eerily

quiet hospital, slowly sipping bitter cold coffee 

from a flimsy paper cup while waiting for the

doctor to bring good news....that, in my

view, can make even a hard man humble.

In this last year my son has undergone life-threatening

surgery on his neck and radiation on his skull-

base with resulting blinding head-aches and

excruciating pain down the left side

of his body for which there is no effective

pain killer. Well, none that will not turn

him into a drug addict. These days

I have much practice with hospitals.

My brother and father both spent two years on and off 

in hospitals before they died.

Having lost my brother(14) when I was

 very young(12), I decided early that

if there was any God or angels of some sort,

they weren't listening.

Although I did have a taste of the UnKnowable

for a spell, I couldn't in the end accept

that any entity accepting the level

of cruelty, poverty and despair that so

many innocent humans must endure

is worth my belief.

I'm thinking that perhaps some of you who

visit this site now and then, may just

like me know what it is like to have

to deal with loss, to constantly feel

that you are cradling a small lit candle.

This, while in the midst of a darkness 

so thick that it is threatening to extinguish

your tiny but steadfast little flame.

I don't know about you, but I rather

be a candle than curse the darkness.

I rather believe in hope and possibilities

than argue about angels, gods or other divinities.

I rather set aside some time for a friend in need

than spend hours watching people flaunting their greed.

I rather seek to learn and further my understanding

than to follow any fashion or any popular branding.

I rather try to be open minded, non-judgmental and really kind

than being scared of change, of the uncertain, or by

others to be defined.

(Citizen Z)

Sometimes when I sit down to write a post,

actually, most of the time, I don't have a topic.

I turn on the computer, turn on some music,

which often is mostly instrumental, and then stare 

at the blinking cursor on the screen and wait.

Sometimes I go through my art works and

look for inspiration. Sometimes I get inspired

to make a new work so I grab some paper

pen/brushes/anything else.

Sometimes I take an old piece and totally

rework it in Elements.

Let me tell you about todays image.

(It was called ''Human Angel'' but it

looked nothing like it does now.)

I decided to just improvise with all the different

tools available in Elements.

I didn't have anything in mind but just

started to try things all over the image.

Suddenly the program jammed and I couldn't

do anything. The little thingy that spins to

tell you that it's doing stuff just..... kept spinning.

I decided to made coffee.

Coffee in hand, I sat down at the computer

again and looked at the screen.

GREAT SCOTT!!!!! Holy Sh**!!

There it was.

All I had to do was add the eyes, the nose

and mouth.

My son is the skull expert so I

instantly showed it to him.

He liked it. Awesome! My first ever skull 

painting.

I wanted to put on some text so with

a bit of imagination I do believe it's possible to see

some lines that could perhaps be .... wings ?

Anyway, the original painting is a large

canvas painted with acrylics.

Edited in Elements although I have no

clue really what I did except for

''a bunch of stuff''.

I had an artistic idea.

''There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle

or the mirror that reflects it.''

(Edith Wharton)