Just let it go......easier said than done

I don't know about you but I've always had trouble

with the expression ''just let it go''.

When it comes down to it, what does it really mean?

I understand fully what it means when it's about tangible

stuff(something one can touch), but how does one 

let go of stuff that's intangible( something one can't touch such as

 thoughts, feelings, memories, etc. etc.)?

For me, it seems as if ''just let it go'' belongs with

the ''tough love'' turn of phrase.

Concepts, that in my view seem to be much easier to say 

than to define.

''Just let it go'' although perhaps when it's said is meant

with good intent can often be experienced by the

receiver as a ''reprimand/judgement''. 

Why? Because it can be interpreted as if we supposedly

know that we should let it go yet failing to do so,

we ourselves now have become responsible for our troubling 

thoughts and or emotions.

Basically, we are choosing to hold on to something

painful when we could just chose not to do so.

Chose? How? Is there a right amount of time for

holding on to a painful/traumatic experience?

If so, who determines that?

You. Us, we do.

It can be easy to get stuck in narratives if we don't

challenge them. 

Even though we can't change what happened in the past, 

the good news is: we can change how we interpret what happened.

We can do this by reframing/reexamining/reevaluating

our narratives.

Practically, this means to exchange old thinking patterns

for new ones.

''That was then but this is now."

''Thoughts and feelings are not facts.''

''Sometimes I make mistakes but not always.''

''I can't change what happened but I can change how I view it.''

''I can't change some situations but I can change

my attitude.''

Letting go as I view it, is a process(a comma), not a

stoppage(full stop).

It is getting out of the habit of regurgitating thoughts and

feelings that hurts us by refusing our minds to replay 

narratives in the hope of coming up with better

outcomes.

Like a pot plant needs watering in order to thrive

so our old grievances need exposure to flourish.

Good thing is, we are holding the watering cans.

This gives us the control of how much water

our pot plant gets.

So if we are watering ''too much'', 

then we need to change that.

Change, in my experience, begins with awareness.

''Awareness is the birthplace of possibility.

Everything you want to do, everything

you want to be, starts here.''

(Deepak Chopra)

Once we become aware of when our thoughts and feelings

 revert back to past hurtful experiences we

have an opportunity to take notice of how

this affects what happens in our bodies.

''When I think of xyz .... I feel upset/sad/angry/etc. again.

I don't like feeling this way and since I can't change what 

happened I will exchange the painful thought for a 

good thought.''

I deal with PTSD and all manners of anxieties

daily and in order to deal with it all there are some

things that I have found to be very helpful when it

comes to letting go that I would like to share with you.

When I find myself ruminating I tell myself out loud: STOP.

The brain can't help itself, it has to stop the thought.

I then quickly find a better thought.

I allow myself to feel sad/angry/upset/hurt when I feel 

the need to, .... but only for a limited time.

I focus on the here and now and deal with what

I can deal with in the now.

''The truth is, that unless you let go,

unless you forgive yourself,

unless you forgive a situation,

unless you realize that the situation is over,

you cannot move forward.''

(Steve Maraboli)

''There is no if only I had.......

there's only this is what I can do.''

(Citizen Z)

about the image: ''Inuit woman''

While thinking on the plight of many

indigenous women in Canada I suddenly

imagined this face.

Acrylic on canvas, some editing in Elements