-So what do you do just for fun? she asked.
Fun? Might seem like an easy question to answer
but when I was asked the question I discovered that I
I really had no definitive answer.
What do I do just for fun?
If one defines fun as something one does for pure enjoyment,
excitement and amusement, then it seems as if what
one experiences as fun changes as time ticks along.
At one time in my life ''fun'' meant climbing the highest tree
I could find, jumping puddles of water, making snow angels,
and playing with my siblings.
As time went on fun meant playing basketball, listening
to new music, hanging with friends and swooning over
some love interest.
Then my brother died and nothing seemed fun anymore.
Grief, I discovered, had the ability to make fun seem indulgent,
frivolous and laden with feelings of guilt.
How could it be okay for me to have fun when my
brother was dead?
I put fun on the shelf and instead went in search of
meaningful, soul fulfilling and all-absorbing.
The hole in my heart created when my brother died
was so overwhelming that I needed to do something
to try and hold it together somehow.
I chose music, although I now realize that music
had already chosen me long before my brother died.
My concept of fun from before my brother's passing changed.
Fun now became anything to do with music.
I threw down the gauntlet and dedicated myself to
learning how to play as many instruments as I could,
how to compose, how to write sheet music, how to
analyze music, how to transcribe music, how to write
lyrics to songs, in short, how to saturate my soul with all
that music had to offer.
And so many years passed.
Eventually I got married and produced an offspring.
My concept of fun now had to go through another transformation.
Music was still fun, but so was being with my son.
For years I balanced being a dedicated musician and a
devoted parent until my son left home and became an artist
as well.
His life (like many artists life) was turbulent with many ups and
downs and for me, filled with many sleepless nights.
But once again, music helped me through it.
Was I still experiencing music as fun? Sometimes.
I began to search for something new that felt like fun.
I decided to try painting.
Much to my amazement I discovered that I seemed to have
a knack for it, but more importantly, it was fun.
I turned my living room into a studio of sorts and
with music blaring, day after day I painted canvas after canvas
of whatever my imagination could dream up.
I discovered that not only was it fun, when I painted
I entered a state of flux(the zone) in which time and place just
seemed to vanish.
When I was painting I would often have my front door
open and as I live in a town house complex, anyone
passing by my place would be able not only to hear
the music I was listening to, but also see me painting.
Now and then people started to come to my front door and ask
if they could come in and see what I was painting.
One such day there was a gentle voice asking
through my screen door: -Hello? Hello?
I put down my brush and walked to the screen door.
-Yes?
I opened the door and standing in front of me was a
sweet looking elderly woman.
-I can see that you're painting, she said and
then continued:-Can I have a look?
-Sure, come on in, I answered.
Standing on the easel was the (above)Mickey painting.
-My son would love this painting, is it for sale? she asked.
-Well, yes, I guess, although I'm not sure if I've finished it yet.
I mean, it's still wet.
-How much will it cost? I mean, it's quite large isn't it.
My son is a painter too, you see, but I know he would
really enjoy your painting.
I decided to give her the painting.
-You know what, you can have it, I said.
-Are you sure?
-Yep, I am.
-My son is coming for a visit tomorrow so can I pick it up
tomorrow morning?
-Sure, it will probably be dry by then.
The next morning she came by and picked up
the painting and handed me a lovely packet
of wholesome biscuits as thanks.
When I painted the Mickey painting I was having a lot of
fun but I think giving it away, was even more fun.
Two weeks later the elderly lady came by again
and told me that her son loved the painting.
What do I consider as fun these days when due to
osteoarthritis in most parts of my body I can no longer
paint large canvases or play the piano or any other instrument?
I decided that in order to have more fun I had to broaden my
definition of the term.
So now ''fun'' incorporates anything that I see, hear, touch, taste,
and or experience that makes me smile on the ''inside''
as well as on the ''outside''
of my being.
If you too would like to experience more fun in your life,
perhaps broadening the way you define the term
may work for you as well?
about the painting: ''Mickey'' acrylic on large canvas
The background was made by me splashing colours
randomly on the canvas until an idea would pop up.
While watching the paint drip I suddenly saw
Mickey's face on it.
I had a lot of fun doing this particular painting.
No comments:
Post a Comment