Self-reflecting...is not the same as posting selfies....

There's a saying: ''Time heals all wounds.''

It sounds good perhaps, but what does it mean?

 ''Time heals nothing!'' says a distraught mother when she

is interviewed about how to deal with the loss of a child.

''How is time supposed to heal anything when time does

not even exist in the mind? asks a soldier suffering with PTSD.

Good question, methinks. So I have been doing some serious thinking on it. 

Much as we may probably want our lives to be void of suffering

and pain, it seems suffering and pain still manages to find us.

As far as I can ascertain, there is no ''one-way fits all'' method

for dealing with ''troubles'', however, the good news is that there is

much literature available in print and on line that can help us

 come to terms and deal with ''troubles'' when they come our way.

So, back to time heals all wounds.

Does the mere passing of time heal anything?

In my view, not really. I mean, we can throw ourselves into 

working all hours, partying all hours, sleeping all hours, etc. etc.

but in my view that's just like putting a band-aid on an open wound.

(It may look better, but the wound is still there.)

Time may offer us the opportunity to bury our pain, but usually

the pain rather than disappearing, will manifest itself some other way.

There's another saying: ''Wherever you go, you take your troubles

with you.''

We can't out-run, out-eat, out-exercise, out-drink, out-drug,

out-work, etc. etc. our emotions. As far as I can ascertain, the

most helpful way to deal with our emotions is to acknowledge

them, own them, and find the core of their origin.

To do this we may need to do some self-reflection.

Self-reflection, as in: thinking about and reflecting on the way

we behave, think, feel, and act, as well as what motivates and

drives us.

I guess another way of putting it is to ask ourselves: why?

Why do I feel this way? Why do I behave this way?

Why do I think this way?...etc. etc.

Another way may be: Taking the time to think about things, to analyze

why we do the things we do.

Time can help heal our wounds if we take the time to

reflect and ponder on why we feel(/are) wounded.

Taking the time to ponder why we feel wounded offers us

the opportunity to examine and if needs be, re-evaluate our

perspective.

I know, it seems like a lot of hard work.

It is probably a lot harder than blaming all one's troubles on

circumstances and other people, but in my view, there are

some wonderful benefits to practicing self-reflection:

 a strong sense of knowing who You are, what Your core values are, 

understanding that You are in charge of what You feel, think, and do.

Not to be confused with self-centeredness however.

A self-centered person considers his or her views/opinions/perspectives only,

a self-reflective person reflects on his or her perspectives in order

to better understand others perspectives. 

(By examining ourselves we become better at appreciating

that other people have their own thoughts and feelings.)

''Self-reflection entails asking yourself questions about your values,

assessing your strengths and failures, thinking about

your perceptions and interactions with others,

and imagining where you want to take your life in the future.''

(Robert L. Rosen)

''Self-reflection is the gate-way to freedom.''

(Dzigar Kongtrul Rinpoche)

''Time can help heal our wounds if we take the time to

reflect and ponder why we feel that we are wounded.'' (Citizen Z)

about the image: ''self-reflection is not tweeting about yourself''

pencil and biro on paper edited in photoshop