The problem with problems.........

I don't know about you, but I sometimes feel as if I've

been through a shredder.

Stuff happens, we deal with it and then try to move on.

Right? Yeah, well, not always in my view.

Sometimes stuff happens at such an alarming rate

that it can be difficult to find the time or space to ''re-group''.

You know, one of those weeks when it seems

as if anything that can go wrong, goes wrong.

You've just managed to sort out one problem

when the next one comes along and knocks you for six.

(A bit like the 70's Arcade game Whac-A-Mole methinks.)

Problems are pesky critters that insists on our attention.

Sometimes we may try to ignore them, we may try to

''whack'' them away, but in my experience, more often than 

not the most efficient way to get rid of them is to deal with them.

''Easier said than done'' you may say.

And I agree, sometimes we may face problems that

may overwhelm us, that zaps us of all our mental energy

and leaves us wanting to curl up in a fetal position.

But perhaps sometimes that may be just what we need

to do in order to gather strength?

I am all for positive thinking, affirmations and problem

solving, however, life has taught me that there are times when

retreating to a quiet and safe place and just be still for a moment

before tackling a problem can be more helpful.

A few years ago my father was very ill and we were all very

worried about him. Not wanting him to be alone, all of us

in the family took turns in being with him in the hospital.

One day, a very difficult day, when it was only he and

I in the hospital room, he asked me to put a pillow

over his face and suffocate him.

He didn't want to live any longer.

What does one say to that?

No, is what I said and then left the room.

On very wobbly legs I walked out of the hospital,

found a quiet corner and slumped to the ground.

I needed time to think, to find words, and to find the strength

to say them to my father.

As a parent of a son who struggles with an array of mental health 

and physical illnesses, there has been many times when

I have felt as if I have been through a ''shredder''.

Times when I've felt as if I was going to die from exhaustion,

from losing my mind, from anxiety, from fear, and or from 

a sense of hopelessness and inadequacy.

But as is obvious since I am writing this, each time I go through

the shredder, I put the pieces back together again.

(Of course not perfect.... going through a shredder leaves ''scars''.)

''It is in the stillness, 

that the greatest peace of mind

and wisdom can be found.''

These words somehow suddenly popped up in my mind

as I was sitting on the ground outside the hospital.

I took a few deep breaths and then walked back to

my father's room.

I had found the words and the strength I had been searching for.

And, now, three years later....every second Sunday I visit my

mum and dad in their beautiful home.

Problems, most seem to agree, is part of life.

Sometimes they may come all at once,

sometimes perhaps one at the time.

Some may need immediate attention,

some may need some thoughtful meditation.

''The tests we face on life's journey are not

to reveal our weaknesses but to help us

discover our inner strengths.

We can only know how strong we are

when we strive and thrive beyond

the challenges we face.''

(Kemi Sogunle)

about the image: Ink on paper, edited in Photoshop