Feeling lonely sometimes? Don't worry, we all do.

 The door behind her closes with a soft thud.

She kicks of her uncomfortable shoes and head

straight for the fridge. Ah. She grabs her elixir, her best friend,

her counselor who always soothes and comforts her.

She pours the wine into a large glass, sits down 

on her couch, takes a sip, and then turns on the Laptop.

As if out of nowhere her eyes suddenly fill up

with tears. What's wrong with me? she asks herself.

Why am I crying? Which is a superfluous question.

She knows why she is crying. She is feeling lonely.

Feeling lonely at times is part of the human condition.

We are a species who seek meaningful social connections,

and having difficulties in making such connections can

perhaps for some of us be quite taxing and at times 

perhaps even devastating.

''Lonely people are lonely because they have poor

social skills.''

So some say, but is there perhaps not more to it?

How many social connections is the right amount?

See, here's the thing, I believe it is quite possible

to feel lonely when in a crowd, but also to feel

crowded when alone.

We are all different. Some of us may need a lot of

social connections and some of us may not.

Besides, what do we mean with social connections?

Let me suggest:

Social connections are the relationships we have

with others and they come in many varieties.

Especially since the advent of the Internet.

According to some, we are more connected today then

mankind has ever been....yet....somehow we are

also experiencing more feelings of isolation and

loneliness.

 During these turbulent times it seems that not

only the quantity of social connections we have

matters, but also the quality.

Which leads me to wonder: how important is 

it that our connections are actual as well as virtual?

How important for instance, is touch?

In the mid-1990's two scientists traveled to Romania to 

study sensory deprivation in children in understaffed

orphanages and discovered that touch-deprived children

had considerably lower cortisol and growth development

levels for their age groups.

Since then other studies on touch have been done that shows

how physical touch plays a primary role in our development

and physical and mental well-being.

Tiffany Field, head of the Touch Institute at the University

of Miami's Miller School of Medicine, made a

shocking discovery when she did a study at the 

arrivals at different airports:

 Nobody was touching each other.

Everyone was on their phone. (or i-Thingy)

No hugging, no embracing, not even handshakes.

Having said this, it seems as if perhaps this Covid-19 Pandemic

with quarantines, lock-downs, and social distancing may have

reminded some of us that we need eye-to-eye contact and touch 

as well as thru an interface.

We may have hundreds or even thousands of Twitter, Facebook, 

Instagram, etc. ''friends'', but when hard times hit us,

what would we prefer: 

a binary code/pixels on a screen or someone

sitting next to us?

If you find yourself at the bottom of a dark pit,

would you prefer someone to ''throw'' you a line

or throw you a rope?

Even though most of us feel lonely at times,

there still seems to be stigma attached to it.

''Don't tell anyone that you feel lonely, if you

do you are likely to be judged as a loser, as

unlikable, and as a weirdo.''

We do judge. We blame. We look down upon.

We rather throw solutions and ''good'' advice

than say: ''I feel lonely too sometimes.''

In my view, feeling lonely now and then does not

necessarily have to indicate lacking social skills,

it just means being a human.

''Loneliness is not lack of company,

Loneliness is lack of purpose.''

(Guillermo Maldonado)

about the image: water colour on paper/some Photoshop editing