There you are, having a quiet drink, just chillin'.
Suddenly the person that once really hurt you walks by.
In a flash, as if erupting from deep within the darkest recesses of your
mind, a multitude of emotions overcome you.
Here you were, thinking that all the pain and hurt was long gone,
only to realize that seeing that person triggered all your old pain
and brought it to the surface.
A suppressed memory now becomes an exposed memory,
and along with it, so do all the emotions connected with that memory.
At this point, most of us will probably look for a solution to
help us suppress that memory once again.
Some of us may turn to alcohol and or drugs, some of us may
turn to excessive exercising, some of us may try to ''eat'' our pain away,
some of us may try to work our pain away, some of us may try to
gamble our pain away, etc.etc.
The goal methinks, although the methods vary, is to make the suppressed
stuff stay suppressed....
Unfortunately however, as a long term fix, it doesn't work.
Numerous studies have shown that trying to regulate our emotions by
either ignoring or suppressing them can have dire side-effects.
(People who are prone to road-rage, who are they really raging against?)
Example: Person X is having a bad day at work. X ignores his/her feelings
and puts on a ''happy'' face. Waiting in line to pay for his/her lunch sandwich,
someone butts in. X feels disrespected. X goes to make a cup of coffee
for afternoon tea, there is no milk left. X feels annoyed and disappointed.
Just before knock-off, the boss hands X more paper work
to do before leaving. X feels under valued.
As X stops at a traffic light on the way home, suddenly someone
bumps into his/her car from behind. X feels as if the world is against him/her.
All the feelings X has allocated to the ''suppressed stuff part''
of his/her mind now.....erupts? What do you think?
The side-effects we may experience from suppressing our emotions
doesn't only affect our mental well-being,
but also our physical well-being. We can experience queasiness,
stomach pain, head-ache, dizziness, fatigue, to just to mention a few.
(Of that our minds try to ignore, the body keeps a score.)
So, here is what ''those in the know'' say: ''Emotions are not under
our conscious control. Our emotions are triggered in the middle section of
our brain, and that section is not under our conscious control.''
If we continuously keep suppressing or ignoring our ''negative''
emotions we may end up experiencing ''unexplained'' bouts of
sadness, anger, restlessness, low self-esteem, and mood swings.
Not acknowledging our emotions when we experience them,
we may transfer old unexpressed emotions onto new experiences
and respond disproportionately.
(We may respond with anger instead of sadness because
anger may seem easier to express.)
If we learn how to acknowledge and deal with our emotions constructively,
honestly, and at the time when we are experiencing them,
the need for suppression will in my view become superfluous.
Expressing our emotions can be difficult sometimes,
knowing what they are, can be difficult sometimes,
but like it is with everything that's difficult;
the more we work at it, the easier it becomes.
''Although we may prefer to not have to deal with hardship,
sorrow and or pain, I believe that there is a good aspect
hidden in such experiences: Within those experiences
lie the potential for our hearts to be tenderized.''
(Citizen Z)
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