The mystery of Crows

I opened the front door, and there it was....again. I was bewildered.

We locked eyes. It tilted its head back and forth a few times,

but it did not move. There was something about the bird, this big, very

black bird that had me quite intrigued.

 In a number of different cultures, crows are often associated with mysticism,

wisdom, and as messengers from the ''spirit world'', etc.etc. 

As this particular crow seemingly out of nowhere just showed up one day,

and then kept showing up, I began to wonder if there was something

more to it than just happenstance.

Since crows are often associated with death and dying, I started to

entertain the notion (yes, I know, silly perhaps) that the bird had

something to do with the death of my best friend, whom we 

had buried just a week before the crow's first appearance.

I decided to embrace the mystery, started to call the bird Tommie 

(after my friend) and then began talking to it.

(Not that it ever answered, but there was something

weirdly comforting in having the bird around to talk to.)

You see, the grief I experienced at the loss of my friend 

had somehow made me unable to vocalize my feelings to anyone, 

so whenever I could, I sought solitude.

I listened to music, watched movies, read books, swam laps,

and spent a lot of time at the waters edge. 

Deep down I knew that talking to someone about my feelings

would probably be a very helpful thing to do, but I

had a three letter word sticking in my craw preventing me

from doing so: WHY?

Until, something very strange happened after I had asked

 Tommie the crow: WHY?

I had a dream, so vivid it felt real.

In the dream, Tommie (my friend, not the crow)appeared before

me, looking so real that I reached out to touch him.

But before I could do so, he held up his hands and said:''stop''.

''Listen to me, you don't need to touch me to know that I am

still around. Every time you think of me, I am with you, the

only difference now is that I am with you in your memories

and every time you think of me, rather than physically.''

I have no recollection of what happened next, I guess I woke up?

All I know is this: After I had that dream, my feelings of grief

were replaced by a lightness of heart and a wonderful sense

of peace.

And Tommie the crow?

I never saw him again.

But, interestingly, I was asked by some of my neighbors what happened to

 the big black crow that used to stand at my front gate in the mornings.