Monday 25 September 2017

Courage and bravery can be learned........

(Just in case you are wondering what on earth this image is supposed to be; (but please feel free to have your own interpretation)..... this is the view from under a Dandelion before its seeds have flown.)
Bravery, is often referred to as an admirable quality in a person in most or perhaps even in all, cultures. What a person has to do in order to be considered a brave person however, in my view probably involves a number of variables.
As is often the case with many words, our definitions of words are commonly influenced by our own experiences, belief-systems and biases, so let me offer a few definitions for bravery: courage, valor, being able to show mental and or moral strength in the face of danger.
For me, bravery means staring straight into the center of something one is scared off, (whatever that may be), but instead of trying to avoid it, walk around it, under it, over it, or ignore it......one "walks" right at it.
Tomorrow, I will have to do just that when I go to see my doctor...... because finally my biopsy results have come back. Until I have actually been given the results, like Schrodingers cat experiment; the results are neither bad nor good, they are both.....(I am thinking however, that if they were really bad, they would probably have contacted me by now, so regardless of not knowing, I can still chose to be optimistic.)
Such is not the case for someone my son and I have known for years. Our friend has battled with cancers of varying kinds for many, many years, and now, other life threatening medical issues have popped up. The way he has coped, and still copes with all his health battles, as well as life's curve balls, is for me the very epitome of a behaviour that constitutes being a "brave" person.
Nelson Mandela: "I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man (woman) is not he (she) who does not feel afraid, but he (she) who conquers that fear."
Most of us will at times face things, events, people, etc. that evoke fear in us and we will have to decide how to deal with it. There are options: denial, put it on hold, avoid, put it in the "too hard" basket, minimize the size of the issue, and so on,... or face it; investigate options on how to deal with it, seek assistance and guidance from a professional, talk over the problem/issue(s) with a friend or family member, etc.etc.
"Feel the fear and do it anyway" suggests Susan Jeffers. Well, at times this can be quite difficult, although when it comes to dealing with fears that interferes and cripples our quality of life, it is probably good/useful advice. A little analogy: Learning to drive a car (manual) can at first be quite scary for some of us, but if we want the freedom of movement that being able to drive a car offers us, we have to face our fears one by one, and then with practice....  driving suddenly seem to have become almost second nature. 
Most of us experience anxiousness to some degree when we learn or deal with new things/experiences/events/people, but the good news is that more often than not, each time we overcome that anxiousness and forge ahead, a sense of achievement and empowerment follows.
Is it possible that perhaps with "practice" we can become "braver" human beings? 
In my view, the answer is Yes.
"Lifehacker" has this to say: 
                                            1. Be terrified of something
                                            2. Do it anyway
                         3. Be moderately less scared than when you do it the first time
                                            4. Repeat

Another alternative:           1. Be terrified of something
                                           2. Do nothing
                                           3. Still be terrified
There may be much we have little power to change, but one thing we DO have the power to change is our attitude, how we chose to view things, and how we chose to respond to events and experiences in our lives.

About the image: A little colour added to our lives can make a big difference

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