Flicking through channels on the box (foxtel), suddenly one after the other grotesque image of faces distorted by plastic surgery filled the screen.
(It looked painful, so painful that I could almost feel the pain.)
Pictures of before and after surgery were placed next to each other, followed by interviews with the "patients" who tearfully spoke of how the surgery had "destroyed" their lives.
I know very little about plastic surgery, but I know that in some cases plastic surgery is performed due to patients suffering with severe burns, dis-figuration caused by an accident or a physical altercation, and or other medical issues, and so on. But, such was not the premise for the program that I was watching, the premise for the program (as I understood it) was to tell a story about "patients" who had undergone plastic surgery, not due to a medical issue, but because they were not happy with the way they looked.
Their lips were too thin, their jawline too weak, their ears too big, their nose too big, too small, too crooked, too straight, too bulbous, their eyebrows not thick enough or too thick, their cheekbones too protruding or not defined enough, their skin too wrinkly, their crows-feet too pronounced, their eyelids too heavy, and etc.etc.
These patients, as I understood it, were motivated to have plastic surgery much due to an underlying belief that "good-looking" = happiness, better opportunities, a better life.
Whether it is true/correct that good looks ensures happiness and a better life I am not so sure of, but what I am sure of and know to be true (judging by statistics) is that the pursuit of "good looks" is a mega dollar industry.
Roger Moore, who played James Bond in many films, was once asked if he considered himself good looking to which he answered: "Good looking? I don't know about that, but I guess I do have rather symmetrical features."
Bombarded as we are in most western societies by image after image defining for us how we have to look in order to be described as good looking/attractive/beautiful, I am not surprised that so many of us feel/think that we just don't measure up. Hook, line and sinker, we swallow the bait and rather than bristle and defiantly question the definition served up to us, many of carry with us the feeling that we just don't measure up in the "beauty/good looking" department.
A little analogy: "A house may look beautiful on the outside, but unless there is some light and furniture inside of it, the exterior beauty is not enough to make the house a home."
An oyster may be "ugly" on the outside but within, it holds a precious pearl.
I once worked in a band with a guy who was very good looking, women used to chase after him, give him their phone numbers and proposition him virtually every time we did a gig. I assumed he loved all the attention....until one night when for whatever reason he decided to talk to me about it.
Much to my surprise he told me that "it was fun in the beginning, but not anymore." "I feel cheap, men can feel cheap too after too many one-night-stands. The women who proposition me, they don't want to know me, they just see a good looking guy on a stage and being with me is not about me, it's about how they feel about themselves having been with me, a musician. I am just a feather in the cap."
According to him, his good looks was more of a deterrent to finding love rather than the opposite.
Whoever said : "Perception is everything", in my view offers a great insight.
Stephen Hawking, regardless of his physical limitations, to many of us may still seem "beautiful", Joseph Merrick, aka the Elephant man, to those who knew him, was considered a "beautiful" person regardless of his deformed body, as they say: "beauty is in the eyes of the beholder."
Our ideals for what we mean with good-looking/attractive/beautiful varies: factors such as tradition, culture, peer pressure, media, exposure, etc.etc. plays a big role in influencing our perceptions.
Even so, in my experience, once we get to really know somebody and enjoy being with them, our perceptions often change. As we get to love and cherish somebody, looks matter less and less, and who they are as human beings matter more and more.
Come to think of it, I think this extends to most living creatures. The flea bitten mutt, the scrawny tabby, the turtle with only three legs, the horse with a limp, the black sheep....they are all worthy of being loved. And so are you, whether your lips are too thin (in your view), your butt too big, your nose too crooked, your ears too narrow, etc.etc.
A good looking person can have a mean personality, a beautiful runway model a haughty temperament,
a handsome movie star a cold heart, etc.etc.
Whether we consider ourselves handsome, good looking or visually pleasing, in my view is in the long run less important than whether we consider ourselves as "good" people, because like it or not,
beauty is fleeting but a beautiful soul and mind, and a compassionate disposition lingers even after we have ceased to do so.
Go on, embrace yourself....warts and all.....and others will too.
"Beauty is not in the face; it is a light in the heart."
(Kahil Gibran)
about the painting: a "perfect" face is not about measurements, it is about .......
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