Have you ever experienced times when it seemed as if out of nowhere
suddenly your thoughts had been hi-jacked? Your in bed, almost asleep, up pops a thought..."did I lock the back door? what did he/she mean when he/she said...? what if ......? did I turn off the....? etc.etc.
The other night I was awakened by a loud thud coming from my neighbour's unit. Since they had supposedly moved out, I was perplexed as to what was making all the racket at 2:30 in the morning.
My mind was racing. "Thought-bandits" hi-jacked my thinking. Maybe my neighbours had moved out their stuff in order to make space for a meth-lab? (Apparently this happens) Maybe some thieves had broken in and were stealing whatever stuff was still left in the unit? (This happened here in this complex not long ago) What if someone was hurt? A rapid-fire of thoughts and memories of past nocturnal traumatic events flooded my mind.
How much control to we have over our thoughts? More to the point, where do thoughts actually come from? Apparently, according to Yohan John, NeuroScience PhD, thoughts come from "everywhere and nowhere" and sometimes just "pop up". Huh? Well, he also says that thoughts come from neural processes and they come from everywhere, as in, the forms and dynamics of thoughts are influenced by everything that has a causal connection with us. (Although science may one day say something else, for now, thoughts for all intents and purposes, are made up of words/language.)
So thoughts are made up of words...so, what are words then made of, or more succinct: what are words?
Wikipedia: "Words are thought(?) of as the smallest meaningful unit of speech that can stand by themselves."
By now you may have come to the conclusion (like me) that thoughts and words both belong to the "we don't really know what they are and or how to efficiently explain them" category.
What we do know on the other hand is that thoughts and the words that make up our thoughts, play a very important part in our lives. We may not have all that much control over some thoughts, as in thoughts that seem to just pop up out of nowhere, but how we respond to the thoughts we have, this we do have the possibility to control to a large extent.
Once a thought grab ahold of us, it can be hard to let it go of it even if we recognize that the thought is making us anxious and or upset. Thoughts are often connected to emotions/feelings, images, past experiences, and one word can at times trigger a flood of different emotions. Although, so can a sound, a smell, an event, etc. (Some say that a smell can be a very powerful memory trigger.) For people who suffer with PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) or compulsive obsessive disorder, recognizing their "triggers" can be a very important aspect of understanding these disorders and how to find a helpful way to deal with them.
(Struggling with a mild form of PTSD myself, the smell of alcohol, or unexpected thuds in the night, are some of my triggers.)
"Now that we've found love, what are we gonna do with it" sings Heavy D, perhaps one could rephrase that and say: "Now that we have found thoughts that trigger suffering/pain/confusion/fear....what are we gonna do with them?"
Thoughts may be able to just pop up seemingly out of nowhere, but once we are aware of them, in my view, we do have an opportunity to decide how we will respond to them.
A very helpful tool (self-help tool) in my opinion, is "cognitive re-framing". Basically it is looking at an event/situation/memory from a number of different perspectives, as in, seeking alternative interpretations, perceptions, and words to define the experience. Ex: Situation: A man comes home to find his family standing on the road in front of their home burnt to the ground. Thought: I have lost everything. Feeling: sadness, anger, disillusionment, a sense of profound loss.
Same situation but with a different thought from the man. Thought: My family is safe. All I have lost can be replaced. Feeling: Relief, and a sense of gratitude that his loved ones are safe.
"As you think, so shall you become." (Bruce Lee)
And since we use words to think with, then it seems to me that the words we use to think with are very important. Ex: "People should be more considerate of others, because I am." If this is our thinking then it is possible that when people fail to match our perception of what being considerate means, we will feel disappointed/sad/disheartened. Put another way: "I am a considerate person because I believe that being considerate to others is a good thing, whether others view it the same way or not, is up to them."
I have found the phrase- "or put another way"- to be really helpful in finding alternative perspectives on how to define and interpret events/experiences/emotions, .......perhaps you may too?
If a "thought-bandit" (intrusive/maladaptive thought) comes and demands for you to hand over your thoughts, it may be helpful to remember that by changing the words that your thoughts consist of, you have the possibility to change your thoughts, and by doing so, potentially change a negative emotional response into a more positive (life-affirming) one.
"Keep your thoughts positive because your thoughts become your words.
Keep your words positive because your words become your behaviour.
Keep your behaviour positive because your behaviour becomes your habits.
Keep your habits positive because your habits become your values.
Keep your values positive because your values become your destiny."
(Gandhi)
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