According to Carl Jung, a well known Swiss psychiatrist, the "shadow" represents the "darker" sides of our selves, and they are called dark because commonly they are obscured from our consciousness. The shadow, one may say, consists of those "things" about ourselves which we probably deem unacceptable because they don't fit with our consciously chosen attitudes and behaviours.
Most of us probably adhere to some form of moral code that we try to follow and when we don't live up to it or our behaviour is incongruous with it, most of us experience feelings of guilt, remorse, or unease. Living, and conducting ourselves in harmony with our moral code on the other hand, often " feels right". Perhaps some of you may be of the view that "the shadow" is a figment of Jung's imagination, after all, if it is obscured from our consciousness, how do we know it even exists?
Have you ever done or said something that the minute you did it, you regretted it and had no idea where it came from?
Do you know anybody who is the nicest person until.......they have a few drinks in them?
Have you ever wondered why children commonly have to be taught how to "share" with others?
Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you knew you shouldn't, yet you still did?
Have you ever lost your temper and scolded someone although your anger had nothing to do with them?
Some suggest that all those attitudes and behaviours that we consciously deem un-acceptable we push down into our unconscious(sub) only for them to occasionally erupt and unsettle us.
"Geez, sorry, don't know why I said that." (Yes, I do, I am jealous of his/her promotion)
"Sorry for losing my temper, I should be more patient with you." (Patient? We have talked about this for hours)
"So sorry for shouting at you, I shouldn't have." (What does he/she expect when he/she never listens?)
The Shadow often helps us rationalise the behaviour that our moral code tells us is un-acceptable: "Why shouldn't I be able to have a few drinks, I deserve it after all the work I do. So what if I get a bit loud now and then.....?" "Taking a few stationary items isn't really stealing, after all, everyone does it." "I should have told him/her the truth, but I am sure he/she has a few secrets him/herself, besides, what he/she doesn't know wont hurt him/her."
Rationalising perhaps helps us to ignore the Shadow (those aspects of ourselves we don't like) and avoid having to deal with it, this however, can have dire consequences.
Some suggest that avoiding to deal with aspects of ourselves we deem "negative" has a tendency for those negative feelings to accumulate often with devastating results such as depression, emotional and physical exhaustion, panic, stress, and a sense of feeling "split".
If, on the other hand, we acknowledge that there are aspects of who we are that we don't like, we can do something about changing them. (We can't change what we don't acknowledge)
"Sometimes I am too impatient, what can I do to become more patient? Sometimes I tend to be very judgemental, what can I do to become more accepting? Sometimes I tend to be too self-focused, what can I do to become more other-focused? Sometimes I become jealous and possessive, what can I do to be less controlling?" and so on.......
When we take ownership of those aspects of ourselves that we don't really like, we have the opportunity to make a change and become the person we want to be.
Just for clarities sake: When I write acknowledging the Shadow, I don't mean to "indulge" in all its desires and wants, rather, by bringing the Shadow into the "light" we are in a position of managing our sub(un)conscious desires and wants, rather than them managing us.
"Unless you learn to face your own shadows, you will continue to see them in others,
because the world outside you is only a reflection of the world inside you."
(Carl Jung)
No comments:
Post a Comment