The benefits of expressing yourself.......

 

"Express yourself" sang Madonna and rapped N.W.A.

Commonly, "to express ourselves", means to share our feelings, thoughts, experiences, views, etc. with others. (This may be done with words, art in any form, etc.)

Some suggest that "expressing ourselves" is something us humans do because we are social beings and we want others to know what we think and feel, just like we want to know what others think and feel. Some also suggest that prehistoric humans discovered that there were advantages in hunting in groups and to do so, they needed to communicate, hence, people needed to express themselves.

For some of us, to express ourselves comes easy, yet, some of us may find expressing ourselves quite difficult, some of us feel that it is important to express ourselves, some of us feel that it is important to express ourselves when we feel we have something important to express.....

Personally, I don't believe that it is helpful to try to determine how much "expressing ourselves" is "normal" or some such, because I don't believe it is possible to establish a "norm" in this case, however, if a person longs to express something that is important to them, but can't seem to do so because of fear of (as an example) rejection, then it may be helpful to find possible ways of overcoming such fear.

Some examples of fears:

You may find it hard to express yourself because it may: cause conflict, you may come across as weak (in your view), you may have self-doubt (what if I am wrong?), you don't believe it would make a difference, you don't know if you are emotionally strong enough to deal with a discussion, you're worried that what you say may come out wrong, etc.

If you want to be able to express yourself more, as in; sharing your thoughts/feelings/opinions;

perhaps a good starting point may be to try to pinpoint the reasons for why you find it difficult? (It may be helpful to spend a few minutes thinking about it and jotting down some ideas)

A good thing to remember when expressing yourself is that the manner in which you speak, is just as  important as the words you use. "You're dead wrong, that's not how it is!" in my view is like a battle cry....expect turbulence...."I hear what you are saying, but I disagree with you, and the reason I am disagreeing is........." usually keep the lines open. "You know I am sensitive about.......so why do you have to bring it up?!!" exchange with "This subject is sensitive to me, can we change subject, please?"

If you want to, or feel you need to, express your thoughts on a relationship (any kind) issue, but you fear that a conflict may arise, it may be helpful to choose the time and place carefully (as in, when the other person is relaxed), as well as how to express your views in a calm and clear manner.

Regardless of how we express ourselves, whether through words, music, art, dance, etc., others will respond to it from their point of understanding, and this may mean a discussion, heated words, conflict, and so on. If we express our thoughts, views, and or our feelings, etc., people may disagree, but in my view, that does not mean that they are not valid for you,

just as you may disagree with others does not mean that their views, feelings, thoughts, are not valid for them.

By expressing ourselves, others get a chance of gaining an understanding/insight, to who we are and what is important to us...just as we gain insight and understanding into what is important to others when they express themselves. 

 "Unexpressed emotions will never die. They are buried alive and will come forth later in uglier ways." (Sigmund Freud)

(Commonly, we use words to express ourselves, but there are other ways: painting, sculpting, photography, music, dancing, etc.etc. and for some of us, these may be preferable options.)

 

   "A picture paints a thousand words."

 

"Art invites us to become explorers and excavators of our vast internal landscapes, discovering new terrain and digging deep into the past to unearth forgotten experiences and emotion." (Jaeda DeWalt)

 

 “Dance is the hidden language of the soul.” (Martha Graham)

"Be yourself- not your idea of what you think somebody else's idea of yourself should be."

 (Henry David Thoreau)

"If we don't believe in freedom of expression for people we despise, we don't believe in it at all."

(Noam Chomsky)