In an episode of The Simpson's, Lisa becomes very frustrated with Homer's apparent lack of wanting to help out, she confronts him about it, at which Homer responds with: "Lisa, I just don't care."
Caring, some may say, can be risky business. Caring about something, or somebody, may potentially involve some sort of cost. Cost, as in: emotional: someone may let us down, financial: the return is less than expected and or hoped for, practical/material: the helping hand extended may not be reciprocated.
To care, or not to care, that is the question? Can we turn our caring "on" and "off" as we please?
Watching a documentary on "The Neanderthal's", the makers of the documentary suggested that one of the reasons the Neanderthals didn't survive, but the homo sapiens did, was much related to the homo sapiens ability to cooperate. The evolution of cooperation, they suggested, played a major role in helping homo sapiens to survive. (There is a current train of thought that suggests that generosity and cooperation is far more important than "survival of the fittest " when it comes to human survival.)
Commonly, human beings are social beings, we thrive on connecting with others in meaningful ways, and caring; showing compassion and empathy; in my opinion, reinforce our social bonds.
For a year or so, I became a member of an outreach organisation which tries to provide unconditional acceptance and friendship to marginalised people, but in specific, to homeless people. On Friday and Saturday nights a group of us handed out blankets, warm clothing, hot drinks, soft drinks, buttered bread and buns, and a listening ear. From seemingly nowhere, people came to wherever we parked our bus. At first, I felt lost and unsure of what to say or do, but with the help of the other outreach members, I quickly learned. Our objective was to care, and not to judge, to listen, and not to "preach".
In conversation with my son about the outreach work I was involved with, a term was offered to me: "The Glass People".
"They are called the Glass people", he said, "because other people don't see them, they are invisible."
"Who are they? I asked. "The drunks, the homeless, the prostitutes, the addicts, the beggars, the people who behave in a confrontational manner, people with obvious mental health issues, basically,
people that for some reason or another, are deemed by many, better ignored than recognised," he answered.
Pondering my son's words, I concluded that caring, means involvement of some kind or another.
Sometimes it may involve an emotional cost: supporting, encouraging, listening, sharing, giving, helping, etc.. regardless of whether it is reciprocated or not.
Sometimes it may involve a financial cost: lending, giving, investing, sending, donating, etc.. regardless of a visible return or not.
Sometimes it may involve a practical/material cost: Helping someone move, clean the garage, do some gardening, pick up the kids from school, sending care packages overseas, etc.... giving someone some of your clothes, furnishings, kitchen stuff, beddings, tools, etc...
A wonderful aspect of caring (in my opinion) is, that although there may be a cost involved, there is also a mountain of rewards.
“It is an absolute human certainty that no one can know his own beauty or perceive a sense of his own worth until it has been reflected back to him in the mirror of another loving, caring human being.” (John Joseph Powell)
“If you shift your focus from yourself to others, extend your concern to others, and cultivate the thought of caring for the well being of others, then this will have the immediate effect of opening up your life and helping you to reach out.” (Dalai Lama XIV)
The funny thing about caring is, that although it may include the involvement of some kind of "cost", it also rewards you: you feel good about yourself.
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