Finding the light......

 

During an evening black-out, when the fridge stopped humming, the TV went black, the music stopped, and the house seemed to suddenly become draped in mystery, I started to ponder what it would have been like before there was electricity. No streetlights, no traffic lights, no flickering, twinkling neon lights, no glowing, flowing, head and tail lights, just gentle, muted, occasional lights.

I searched for some candles and eventually found two stumps. I lit them. Their fragile flames provided some illumination, but the house still felt unfamiliar and mysterious.

Why was that?, I thought. I have lived in this place for more than ten years, everything is familiar to me, yet, when searching for the candles I bumped into things, tripped on the rug, and stepped in the cat's food bowl.

 Some researchers suggest that hyper vigilance is an evolutionary response; we are more vigilant in darkness because it improves our survival. If such is the case, then now when a large part of the world is "electrified" and darkness can be eliminated with the flick of a switch, what happens to our vigilance? Does "the darkness" become even more threatening or have we perhaps become somewhat complacent?

Imagine walking through a park you know in daylight......now imagine walking through the same park in darkness......is there a difference? Tripping my way to find the candles, I realised that  

there was a difference between what I thought I knew about my surroundings and what I actually knew. Without any light showing me where everything was, my estimations were skewed.

 

For a couple of years I worked as a manager for a jazz club in Stockholm, Sweden, and I never forget the first time I saw the club in daylight. At night, the club seemed cosy with all its small, red table lamps, the burgundy red velvet drapes, and sparsely lit bar, but in the cold, harsh, daylight, it looked seedy and ordinary. Illuminated with the uncompromising daylight, the bar looked cheap, the lamps grotty, and the stage overburdened with empty glasses, beer bottles, and cigarette butts. What had been "hidden", or glamorised in the dark, was now very visible, and no longer mysterious or romantic, just very ordinary. On the other hand, sometimes "light" may reveal to us unexpected, astonishing beauty; the sudden appearance of a rainbow, a ray of light finding its way to reveal a hidden flower, the sun emerging from behind a darkened cloud, moonbeams across a silent, still lake, fireworks exploding against a satin black sky.

As far as my understanding goes, light has been a source of fascination for mankind since the year dot. It has been scrutinized, investigated, researched, treated, experimented with, by scientists of various disciplines, artists, technicians, innovators, and everyday people. Light, is something experienced by us all. (Even if blind, a person can experience the effects of light such as the warmth.)

One may even ponder whether any form of life is possible without it....yet we seem to have a penchant for taking it for granted.

As well as the physical experience of light, light is often used as a metaphor. "You are the light of my life, suddenly he saw the light(insight), she found enlightenment, light is the truth, light is knowledge", etc...

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.”  (Martin Luther King Jr.)

 “We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.” (Plato)

   “We've all got both light and dark inside us. What matters is the part we choose to act on. That's who we really are.” (J. K. Rowling)

So what is "the dark" and why is it commonly associated with something "bad"?

According to some, "the dark" represents the unknown, the dangerous, the scary, the unpredictable, the sad, the negative, .... (insert here what you think)..........., yet for others, not so much.

In the early days of human kind, humans were not at the top of the food chain, and survival meant learning that predators preferred the cover of darkness to hunt, so basically: there's danger lurking in the dark, so stay out of it. Perhaps as a result of this, subconsciously we grew to associate "the dark" with danger and possible death? Another possibility may also be that its hard to see anything in the dark and one may trip on things....

“I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars.”  (Og Mandino)

 

If you experience a "black-out", don't curse the darkness, light a candle, because even the darkest of dark is no match for a single flame of light. 

 

 

 

 

What is love?

 

Love.

What is it?

Hope, says the hopeful.
Faith, says the faithful.

Unconditional, says the loving parent.
Compassion, says the enlightened monk.

Painful, says the jilted lover.
God, says the devout believer.

All you need, says the song writer.
Theme for a sonnet, says the poet.

Mysterious, says the philosopher.
Brain chemistry, says the neuroscientist.

Confusing, says the teenager.
Elusive, says the lonely.

Caring for others, says the philanthropist.
Acceptance, says the open minded.

Not very practical, says the pragmatic.
Everything, says the romantic.

Hard to define, says the literature professor.
A many splendored thing, says the script writer.

Wonderful, says the person in love.
Hard to find, says the cynic.

Friendship, says the loyal friend.
Family, says the devoted matriarch and patriarch.

Connecting with other humans, says the humanitarian.
When two souls become one, says the lover.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Perhaps love can be likened to air?
Although surrounded by it, we cannot see it, or touch it, but without it, we cannot live.
We can see the effects of moving air; as in wind; just like we can see the effects of "moving" love: kindness, compassion, empathy, generosity, tenderness, intimacy, connectedness, forgiveness, acceptance, tolerance, and so much more.  Just like air can become polluted by toxins and make it hard for us to breathe, so can love be when "polluted" by hatred, indifference, jealousy, greed, and envy.
We fare best when we can fill our lungs with unpolluted, clean, and fresh air, and may I suggest, that we also fare best when we fill our hearts, souls, and minds, with "unpolluted" love.

"Let us always meet each other with a smile, for the smile is the beginning of love."
(Mother Teresa)

Why should you care? Because caring about others, you feel good about you......

In an episode of The Simpson's, Lisa becomes very frustrated with Homer's apparent lack of wanting to help out, she confronts him about it, at which Homer responds with: "Lisa, I just don't care."

 Caring, some may say, can be risky business. Caring about something, or somebody, may potentially involve some sort of cost. Cost, as in: emotional:  someone may let us down, financial: the return is less than expected and or hoped for, practical/material: the helping hand extended may not be reciprocated.

To care, or not to care, that is the question? Can we turn our caring "on" and "off" as we please?

Watching a documentary on "The Neanderthal's", the makers of the documentary suggested that one of the reasons the Neanderthals didn't survive, but the homo sapiens did, was much related to the homo sapiens ability to cooperate. The evolution of cooperation, they suggested, played a major role in helping homo sapiens to survive. (There is a current train of thought that suggests that generosity and cooperation is far more important than "survival of the fittest " when it comes to human survival.)

Commonly, human beings are social beings, we thrive on connecting with others in meaningful ways, and caring; showing compassion and empathy; in my opinion, reinforce our social bonds.

For a year or so, I became a member of an outreach organisation which tries to provide unconditional acceptance and friendship to marginalised people, but in specific, to homeless people.  On Friday and Saturday nights a group of us handed out blankets, warm clothing, hot drinks, soft drinks, buttered bread and buns, and a listening ear. From seemingly nowhere, people came to wherever we parked our bus. At first, I felt lost and unsure of what to say or do, but with the help of the other outreach members, I quickly learned. Our objective was to care, and not to judge, to listen, and not to "preach".

In conversation with my son about the outreach work I was involved with, a term was offered to me: "The Glass People".

"They are called the Glass people", he said, "because other people don't see them, they are invisible."

"Who are they? I asked. "The drunks, the homeless, the prostitutes, the addicts, the beggars, the people who behave in a confrontational manner, people with obvious mental health issues, basically, 

 people that for some reason or another, are deemed by many, better ignored than recognised," he answered.

Pondering my son's words, I concluded that caring, means involvement of some kind or another.

Sometimes it may involve an emotional cost: supporting, encouraging, listening, sharing, giving, helping, etc.. regardless of whether it is reciprocated or not.

Sometimes it may involve a financial cost: lending, giving, investing, sending, donating, etc.. regardless of a visible return or not.

Sometimes it may involve a practical/material cost: Helping someone move, clean the garage, do some gardening, pick up the kids from school, sending care packages overseas, etc.... giving someone some of your clothes, furnishings, kitchen stuff, beddings, tools, etc...

A wonderful aspect of caring (in my opinion) is, that although there may be a cost involved, there is also a mountain of rewards.

“It is an absolute human certainty that no one can know his own beauty or perceive a sense of his own worth until it has been reflected back to him in the mirror of another loving, caring human being.” (John Joseph Powell)

“If you shift your focus from yourself to others, extend your concern to others, and cultivate the thought of caring for the well being of others, then this will have the immediate effect of opening up your life and helping you to reach out.” (Dalai Lama XIV)

 

The funny thing about caring is, that although it may include the involvement of some kind of "cost", it also rewards you: you feel good about yourself.

Dare to dream....follow your passions...

Some time ago I had a solo exhibition titled "American Dreamers" in which this painting was one of the works featured. Whether JFK was a "goodie" or a "baddie" I leave up to you, the reader, to decide, but what he was, was a dreamer, he had visions and dreams for the country he briefly was the chief and commander of.

Do you have visions and dreams for yours or others life? If anything was possible, what would you like to see happen in yours or others life?

Many things once thought of as impossible dreams/visions, are today part of everyday realities:

powered flight , the computer with all its functions/applications, the printing press, x-rays and all other imaging machines, the combustion engine, the development and advances in the many disciplines of science, art in all its different genres, engineering in all its diverse forms, the internet, antibiotics and many medical aspects, etc.. etc. Before any of these things became realities, they began as ideas/visions/dreams in someone's mind, and more often than not, they were met with resistance. "Walk on the moon? You're dreaming", "Moving pictures? You're dreaming", "See the skeleton inside a body while he/she is still alive? You're dreaming", "One injection and the illness is prevented? You're dreaming". Unfortunately, this list goes on, and on, and on, and on.....

So many of our advances as a species are due to someone with a dream, or with a great idea, yet we continue to be resistant and often label such people as "dreamers", but not in a good way, rather , commonly being a "dreamer" gets a bad rap.

Well, past a certain age it seems. When we are children, it seems to be okay to dream of becoming: ballerinas, pro football players, astronauts, princesses, crocodile hunters, superstars, etc... but fairly early in our lives we are often discouraged from "dreaming" and to "live in the real world".

I have often been asked:  "....but what's your "real" job, in the "real" world?"

As a musician I was asked this question over and over, and now as a painter/artist, I am still asked the question. Eventually I had to ask: "So what exactly is the "real world" then, because the world I live in seems real enough to me and what is a "real" job?" The common collective perception seemed to me to be that a "real job" is one that involves a salary, and the "real world"  seemed to be a very subjective term, undefinable by facts. I can only assume that what is meant with to live in the "real world" is for the individual to conform to the collective cultural expectations of the society in which he/she lives. Thing is; there are thousands of people classified as artists (all genres), researchers, innovators, explorers, "dreamers", creative idea-makers, etc...etc.. that earn salaries, and their achievements and efforts, in my view, are commonly appropriated by the "real world".

Having dreams/visions for one's life is one thing, working towards making them happen, is another. To follow ones dreams, takes courage, hard work, a lot of determination, .. and pretty thick skin.

JFK lost his life in the pursuit of his dreams, so did his brother Robert Kennedy,  Martin Luther King Jr., Gandhi, Abraham Lincoln, John Lennon, and many, many more. "An invasion of armies can be resisted, but not an idea whose time has come." (A. Einstein)

Some examples: the earth is round (not flat), earth revolves around the sun (not the other way around), Darwin's Theory of Evolution Natural Selection (as opposed to creationism), Pasteurization (diseases are spread by germs) ...these ideas were met with fierce opposition, but are now regarded by most as "self-evident". The Wright Brothers dreamed they could fly, Nelson Mandela dreamed of a better and free South Africa, Mikhail Gorbachev dreamed of a democratic Soviet Union, Helen Keller dreamed that blind/deaf people would be able to read and write, and so on.

Do you have dreams/visions of what you would like to do/achieve/be, but you are afraid of how others may perceive them? Do you believe you have a great idea, but you are afraid that others may think the idea stupid? (That is; life-affirming ideas, not destructive ones)

Find the courage to follow your dreams, because life is short and even if your dreams don't turn out the way you hoped, the mere act of trying is a success in itself because: "better to try and fail, rather than not trying at all".

"It's not the critic who counts; Not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit goes to the one who is actually in the arena; Who strives valiantly; who errs and comes up short again and again; Who knows the great devotions, the great enthusiasms, and spends himself in a worthy cause. Who, at the best, knows in the end the triumph of high achievement; and, at the worst, if he fails at least he fails while daring greatly; so that his place will never be among those timid and cold souls who know neither victory or defeat." (Theodor Roosevelt)

Overcoming pain......

 

Once upon a time, there was a young girl.

Not of noble birth, but yet a glistening pearl.

She had dreams and hopes like most girls do,

for inner wishes and longings to come true.

 

But her body was against her, or so it seemed,

because excruciating pain, invaded all her dreams.

She tried so very hard, nay, she tried her very best,

to ignore the searing pain, to find some well-earned rest.

 

This pearl of a girl, had a kind and caring mother,

so she could see, her daughter's daily struggle,

so she offered to help, to try to find a way,

to relieve some pressure, to rub the pain away.

 

Her mother tried her best, to relieve some of the pain,

and for a short brief moment, the girl felt whole again.

But as it was no cure, just a temporary measure,

the pain returned, and with it, all its pressure.

 

Many were the days, and many were the nights,

when the young girl wished to leave, to just take flight,

to escape her broken body, to leave her pain behind,

to find some lasting stillness, to find some peace of mind.

 

But inspite of all the pain, she bravely carried on,

inside her broken body, she carried a heart of gold.

In her there was no menace, no spite, no hate, no guile,

this girl was very precious, a very precious child.

 

Pain is a leveller, a tyrant, a teacher, a night-marish dweller,

who demands our attention, and kills all pretention,

but as mighty and powerful pain seems to be,

faced with love, hope, and courage, it can but flee.

(Citizen Z)

 

Dear Rose, I hope this story will bring some small measure of comfort for you, your friend Citizen Z

 

The body speaks.....expressions come in many forms

 

This is a quick sketch I did of a dancer. I did do many, in the pursuit of trying to understand the dimensions of the human body. As I sketched one ballet dancer after the other I realised how I have never really thought much about the body. (It's kind of just there.)

Some people seem to be very body-conscious; they are good at sports, they are good dancers, they have great gross motor skills; and they seem to feel very comfortable with their bodies. Perhaps they have a high BI=Body Intelligence?

Another name for it is: Kinesthetic Intelligence and according to "Dr Google": "People with bodily/kinesthetic intelligence are skilled at using their body to convey feelings and ideas. They have good hand-eye coordination and are very aware of their bodies. Their fine and gross motor skills are more advanced than the average person."

In conversation with one of my son's friends I asked the friend what he is passionate about in life. Much to my surprise he answered: "Dancing. I am passionate about dancing, because when I dance I can express my feelings." He probably saw how surprised I was with this answer, that he continued: "When I say dancing, I just mean moving my body to the music, not any specific steps or anything."

How do you express your feelings? Many of us probably find words to be our predominant choice of expression, but on occasion, even words may fail us. Sometimes going for a walk, for a jog, for a swim, for a bike ride, for an hour in the gym, etc.. can be more helpful in releasing feelings rather than verbalising them. Others may choose do some gardening, cooking, cleaning, working on the car, fix broken things, re-decorating, sorting, etc.. Doing something that involves the body more than the mind, may give the mind a moment of respite and a chance for the mind to process feelings subconsciously. "I am going for a walk to clear my head", is probably something many of us have said. Does it? Clear the head?

According to some scientists, walking (/jogging) activates neurons in the brain that has a soothing effect, so yes, going for a walk can help us clear our heads.
Our bodies communicate with us: they tell us what we need, although at times, we may choose to ignore what our bodies are trying to tell us. Perhaps some of you may at this time think: "Everything happens in the brain, if the brain malfunctions, so does the body." True, but then on the other hand, a brain without a body has its limitations as well, well, at least at this juncture in time. (The brain is the central part of the nervous system; the nervous system allows us to respond to the world around us; both our voluntary and involuntary actions are attributed to our nervous system, hence the need for some kind of "body".)
Now, we may not be all that "cosmetically" happy with the body we have been given, but in the face of all the possibilities of any number of malfunctions possible in a human body, perhaps a modicum of appreciation for our bodies such as they are, may be worth while?
Feelings, though processed in the brain, affect our bodies, especially through our body language.
Wikipedia: "Body language is a kind of nonverbal communication, where thoughts, intentions, or feelings are expressed by physical behaviours, such as facial expressions, body posture, gestures, eye movement, touch and the use of space."
(If I say to someone: "I am so glad you came", but I don't look them in the eyes, I cross my arms, or turn away from him/her, he/she is probably not going to believe my words.) 
Feelings; are mediated by our limbic system and the involuntary, autonomic nervous system; feelings involve a reaction throughout the whole body. Kinesthetic Intelligence therefore, in my view, is a good thing to possess. That is: being aware of what we are saying with our bodies and not only with our words.  Ballet: Story telling using the body rather than words. Instrumental music: story telling using instruments rather than words. Paintings: story telling using images rather than words.
So, why do we have this need to express ourselves? Some suggest that it is an innate human behaviour, some that it is a part of evolutionary behaviour.......perhaps it's both?
May I suggest in addition to the above that; we desire for others to understand our perspectives; we also desire to understand others perspectives; but perhaps, the overarching desire is; that we desire to belong.

“Because I trust in the ever-changing climate of the heart. (At least, today I feel that way.) I think it is necessary to have many experiences for the sake of feeling something; for the sake of being challenged, and for the sake of being expressive, to offer something to someone else, to learn what we are capable of.” (Jason Mraz)

Now, excuse me, but I need to express myself by dancing a symphony in green.