What's my destiny?

Is our destiny set in stone, and if it is, what about free will?

If everything we do has some prior determining cause, how can any of it be a matter of our own free choice?

If our current behaviour is fixed by the way things were long before we were born and by some eternal laws of nature, then the notion that we are freely in control of our own actions must be some kind of illusion?

This subject matter was suggested to me by my son who began a conversation by asking me: "What is the difference between fate and destiny?"

"Good question," I answered and realised I didn't have a clue.

So I began by looking up as many different definitions of the words as I could.

"Fate" is an outcome determined by an outside agency acting upon a person or entity; but with "destiny" the entity is participating in achieving an outcome that is directly related to itself; participation happens wilfully.

Say what? What does it mean?

So I looked up a lot more definitions, and the more I found, the more confusing the issue became.

Whether we call it destiny or fate, perhaps the most important factor is the decisions that we make at turning points/crossroads of our lives. Our life as it is right now, according to this point of view, is created as a result of the choices we have made. If such is the case, then the most important factor in shaping our destiny/fate, is our freedom of choice.

"Your destiny is shaped according to the combination of conditions predetermined at birth and other factors

that you are able to change through your own efforts." (Buddha)

Such as?

Karma, family, social climate, our own efforts and self-disciplines, and the influence of other people.

Karma?

Our "modern" view of karma, often devoid of any spiritual demands, removes an acceptance of reincarnation in Judeo-Christian societies and attempts to portray karma as a universal psychological phenomenon which behaves predictably much like other physical forces such as for instance gravity.

Karma for some of us perhaps can be summed up in: "you reap what you sow", and according to the Hindu Vedas: "if you sow goodness, you reap goodness, if you sow evil, you will reap evil."

For those of us who are opposed to religion and or idealism, perhaps we may feel more comfortable with the terms "cause" and "effect". Spinoza, a Dutch philosopher 1632-1677, insisted that people are mistaken in believing themselves to be "free" since they are only aware of their actions but not what causes determined them.

Hmmmm. So even when we think we are in charge of choosing our actions, we are not?

What about fate? Is someones fate the same as someones pre-determined path in life or a combination of the accidental, the spontaneous, the conscious choices made flavoured by heredity, temperament and character?

"Sow a deed and reap a habit, sow a habit and reap a character, sow a character and reap a fate," so folk wisdom says.

Carl Jung, the Austrian psychiatrist: "When an inner situation is not made conscious, it appears outside as fate."

All of this lead me to ask the question: "Is there such a thing as free will?" Is free will the same as "I have considered all the possibilities and plausible outcomes, and this is my conscious choice?"  If we exercise our free will, can we change our destiny?

Most of us have experienced "crossroads moments". (These are the moments in our lives when we find ourselves at a crossroads. The choices we make in those moments may have a profound impact on the rest of our lives)

Perhaps we ask ourselves: "If I had chosen another "road" would my life have turned out differently?"

Or, "was it my destiny/fate to chose this one?"

How we chose, is dependent on our beliefs which then manifests in our actions. This then makes us responsible for those actions.

“Love is our true destiny. We do not find the meaning of life by ourselves alone - we find it with another.”  

(Thomas Merton)

“It's choice - not chance - that determines your destiny. ”  (Jean Nidetch)

 

At this point, it seems to me that the choices we make when facing a "crossroads" play an important part in what happens next in our lives. Our lives so far are very much the result of the outcomes of the choices we have made.

Whether it is our destiny or fate to be where we are right now may be of lesser importance than to recognise that our choices lead us to this point, and making other choices will lead us somewhere else.

 

“I have noticed that even those who assert that everything is predestined and that we can change nothing about it still look both ways before they cross the street." (Stephen Hawking)

 

“Carefully watch your thoughts, for they become your words. Manage and watch your words, for they will become your actions. Consider and judge your actions, for they have become your habits. Acknowledge and watch your habits, for they shall become your values. Understand and embrace your values, for they become your destiny.”   (Gandhi)