Why do I feel like I am "leaking" energy?

 

When speaking with a friend recently, she said: "I feel like I am leaking, like I am losing my substance, my energy." 

Leaking? How does one leak?

A roof with broken tiles leak, a tyre with a nail in it leaks, a balloon with a whole in it leaks,....how does a human "leak" I wondered?

Crying? Screaming? Speaking out of term? When we leak, is it a subconscious or conscious occurrence?

Both?

From my friend's description, it seemed to be a subconscious affair.

"Can you describe what it feels like," I asked her.

"It's like there is a battle between my intentions and being able to actually act on them," she answered

This lead me to think of new years resolutions. How many of us have not had the intent to lose weight, stop smoking, exercise more, eat healthier, spend more time with loved ones, et cetera only to run out of the energy/motivation a few weeks later? Where did the energy/intent/motivation go? Do most of us have leaks?

Perhaps a fluctuating self-esteem is one of the leaks?

(Quick definition of self-esteem: how we value ourselves, our self-worth, from the Greek word meaning "reverence for the self)

Henry Ford said: "Whether you think you can or think you can't, you are right."

The support from others may strengthens us, but more importantly, it is our belief in ourselves that is at the core of a healthy self-esteem. If we have bouts of a weaning self-esteem then using affirmations can be a very helpful tool to stave off negative self-talk and increase our self-esteem.

Examples of (positive) affirmation: "I can, I will, I am...." Another tool is to use "absolutes" minimally. "I always blow it"... can be exchanged for "I blow it at times", "every time" can be exchanged for "sometimes", "all" can be exchanged for "a number of" and so on.

Perhaps the fear of loosing control over our thoughts and emotions is another leak?

Speaking our mind at times can have dire consequences, so we may choose to keep our opinions/thoughts

 to ourselves but this may create an inner conflict. To relieve the pressure of an inner conflict we may spring leaks.....subconsciously the dog, the cat, the kid, the waiter, etc. may become the brunt of that conflict.

Perhaps we are keeping feelings under wraps such as sadness, loneliness, despair, confusion, or anxiousness?

Daniel Wegner Ph.D. discovered through research something he named the "rebound effect of thought suppression."

Essentially; the more you try to push away a thought of a particular subject/topic, the more you will think about it. Many follow-up studies have been conducted that confirm Wegner’s finding, more so those studies

 have shown that the same effect happens when you try to push away emotional thoughts, or when you try to push away the actual feelings.

The effort of subduing our feelings requires a lot of energy and may leave us feeling as if we have sprung a leak; our source of energy depleted.

Perhaps dealing with an uncertain future is a leak?

“As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain; and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality.” (Albert Einstein)  Not knowing, can be one of the biggest hurdles for some of us to deal with.

Uncertainty, some suggest, is part of the human condition, but how we deal with it, is up to individual.

For some, uncertainty offers an adventure, a journey full of wonder and delights to be experienced.

For others, uncertainty is uncomfortable, scary, and imposes change.

Uncertainty is inevitable; we cannot know the future only speculate, and fighting the inevitable can be an exhausting battle.

 If our roof springs a leak, the first thing we have to do in order to fix it, is to find out where the leak is. Once we have figured that out, we can set about fixing it. Perhaps this also applies to human beings.

 

“Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more, so that we may fear less.”
(Marie Curie)

 “Let go of certainty. The opposite isn't uncertainty. It's openness, curiosity and a willingness to embrace paradox, rather than choose up sides. The ultimate challenge is to accept ourselves exactly as we are, but never stop trying to learn and grow.”  
(Tony Schwartz)