It's the 4th of July and the fireworks display is mesmerising. Jimmy forgets about the traffic and runs in to the street to get a better look. A policeman sees Jimmy and walks up to him. "Now Jimmy, what if a car comes along and doesn't see you here in the middle of the street and runs you over?" The policeman gently guides Jimmy back to the curb.
I have a friend who recently lost his beloved dog. The dog had been a good companion to my friend, loved and treated with much affection and when he passed my friend experienced a great sense of loss. I asked him if he would consider getting another dog. "No," he answered, "what if I get a new dog and he gets sick and dies too, I don't want to risk it."
That's the thing with living, it's risky.
Risky in the sense that we may get hurt.
But if we allow our fears of getting hurt prevent us from trying, then would any of us learn to walk, to ride bikes, to swim, to try anything that includes the possibility of being hurt?
Some say: "Nothing worthwhile was ever achieved without an element of risk."
"The person who risks nothing does nothing, has nothing, is nothing, and becomes nothing. He may avoid suffering and sorrow, but he simply cannot learn and feel and change and grow and love and live." (Leo F. Buscaglia)
Perhaps a definition of risk: Risk is the potential of loss (an undesirable outcome, however not necessarily so) resulting from a given action, activity and/or inaction. (Wikipedia)
Every encounter with learning something new, can be viewed as including an element of risk since there is always a possibility we may fail at first, but as we learn, we get better at it, and the risk of failing diminishes.
When I was learning how to rollerblade there was a lot of falling, not being able to stop, going backwards, etc. but I persisted and eventually rollerblading became very enjoyable, and less risky. Had I given up the first time I fell I would have missed out on the hours and hours of joy, a sense of freedom, and the sheer fun I experienced when rollerblading.
"I have always wanted to play an instrument, but what if I'm no good at it?"
"I would love to surf, but what if haven't got the body type for it?"
"I would love to do another job, but what if I can't get another one?"
"I would love to have a partner, but what if I am not lovable enough"?
"What if I love someone and they don't love me back"?
"It seems to me that people have vast potentials. Most people can do extraordinary things if they have the confidence or take the risks. Yet most people don’t. They sit in front of the telly and treat life as if it goes on forever." (Philip Adams)
Henry David Thoreau puts it like this: “Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them.”
As far as I can ascertain, there is no statute of limitations on dreaming, trying, learning, discovering, attempting, etc.
Billy Connolly says: "Don't die before you're dead". Every new day presents a new opportunity for discovering something new about you and the world you inhabit. If we avoid trying for fear of failing, perhaps we would do well to redefine the term "failing". To "fail" is an act of doing, the fear of failing is not. If we fail at something, it could just mean we just haven't had the outcome we desire yet, whereas if we do nothing because of the fear that we will fail, then we have not even tried. (Success is all the sweeter when we arrive at it (whatever it may be) after ignoring our fear of failure and doing it anyway.)
What if I fail? So what......try again using a different method.
What if he/she rejects me? So what......there are many others that will not.
What if it all goes wrong? So what.......figure out why it went wrong and what you can learn from it.
What if I am no good at it? So what.......do it again and again until you are.
What if......what if....what if.....
Let's turn it around and make it a positive; what if there is a better method, better technology, better process, procedure, language, communication, explanation, system, et cetera. Our human endeavour forges its way forward by pioneers asking "what if..." and then tossing the risks overboard.
"It’s not because things are difficult that we dare not venture. It’s because we dare not venture that they are difficult."
(Seneca)
No comments:
Post a Comment