Compliments, are they necessary?

A friend parades before you in his/her new pants and asks: "Does my bum look big in these pants?"

A sibling pulls up in your driveway in his/her new car and excitedly asks: "What do you think, do you like my new car?"

A workmate pulls you aside and whispers: "Don't tell anybody, but I just got promoted!"

Your small child holds up his/her latest art work and says: "Daddy/mummy, look what I did in school today, isn't it good?"

Your partner comes home from work and proudly announces that he/she has been given a pay rise and exclaims: "Now we afford to buy that......."

What is your first intuitive response?

"It depends", you may answer, or "I always get excited with the other", or "Well, it doesn't really affect me, that's their thing", or "Sometimes I may feel inclined to correct if the others excitement is exaggerated", and so on.

Is it easier to find faults and flaws than to compliment? Sometimes I work in a retail outlet and speaking with customers I have noticed how many of them are quick to put themselves down, to find  the perceived "wrongs" but slow to identify the "rights".

Do we find it easier to find faults in others and ourselves, rather than strengths? Is it easier to to pull someone or ourselves down rather than to be positive?

"Don't tell someone how good they are too often, it will only lead to heartbreak later".

"Tell a child how proud you are of them too often and they will not cope in the real world later".

Is this really the case?

Are we trying to "protect" others and ourselves from possible pain in the future when or if we withhold positive statements?

Does giving someone a compliment somehow "cost" us something?

"You did a great job" but under our breath we may mutter "so would I under your circumstances".

"That's a great car, lucky you" we say while silently thinking " if I had the money that could have been my car". "You've lost weight, you look fantastic!", we may say while quietly thinking "I could too, it's just my metabolism doesn't function properly".

A true compliment, to my way of thinking, is detached from expectations of any reciprocal gestures, sincere and other-focused. The reason for giving the compliment motivated by other focus and other appreciation. Giving someone a compliment on something they did or are doing indicates that they have been seen, noticed, and appreciated.

Many of us are aware of our own inadequacies, if asked what our flaws are we could probably rattle them off quick smart, but if asked what our strengths are, many of us may start to um and ar. Often we are quick to put ourselves down, to focus on our perceived faults and forget or ignore our strengths, many of us possibly confused about the difference between pride and appreciation. "Pride comes before fall" a saying that seem to be deeply entrenched in western culture, minces no words. Think too highly of yourself, and there' disaster awaiting you, but what if there's no "pride"?

Could that not also be disastrous?

What is pride then?  According to Wikipedia: An inwardly directed emotion with two meanings, a negative and positive.

Positive: A satisfied sense of attachment toward ones own or another's choices and actions, or toward a whole group of people. A product of praise, independent self-reflection, a fulfilled sense of belonging.

Negative: An inflated sense of ones personal status or accomplishments.

Now to appreciation: Recognition of the quality, value, significance, or magnitude of people and things.

Although there may be a risk in boosting someones pride when we give them a compliment, is there not equally the risk that we may increase their sense of being appreciated? And being appreciated, is that not something we may all enjoy and desire?

Ralph Marston expresses it this way: "Make it a habit to tell people thank you. To express your appreciation, sincerely and without the expectation of anything in return. Truly appreciate those around you. Truly appreciate life, and you'll find that you have more of it."

Go on, be nice, give someone a compliment, tell them they are appreciated.

 

 

 

Wonder is the beginning of wisdom

"Wonder is the beginning of wisdom" said Socrates, which made me curious as to what "wonder" actually means.

Some definitions to start with for the word "wonderment":  1. Astonishment, awe, or surprise. 2. Something that produces wonder; a marvel. 3. Puzzlement or curiosity.

“When you don't cover up the world with words and labels, a sense of the miraculous returns to your life that was lost a long time ago when humanity, instead of using thought, became possessed by thought.”  wrote Eckhart Tolle, nonetheless, do we still have the ability to experience wonderment or is what Eckhart Tolle suggests true for most of us?

Has the word "awesome" replaced wonderment in some instances? Pondering wonderment, it occurred to me that there is a sense of openness to possibilities in the feeling of wonderment. "I don't know how or why, but I just love the way an albatross surfs the winds." Beethoven was deaf when he wrote many of his symphonies, I don't understand how that's possible, I just love his music." "I understand that an egg and a sperm makes a baby, but when I held my first born in my arms the first time, I was filled with wonder and amazement, knowing how at that point, meant very little."

On the other hand, for some people knowing how is directly linked with feelings of wonderment.

I was fortunate enough to spend a day with a bone fide medicine man called George when I spent some time in the US some years ago. His home modest and filled with many artifacts, at the back of the property a sweat lodge, and a small enclosure with a wolf mother and her cub. The minute George invited me in to his home I was struck with a sense of peace and wonderment. We sat down around a wooden table covered with a multicoloured cloth and I was offered some tea.

George spoke slowly and deliberately with a very soothing voice, his body language open and friendly as he asked me many questions. Somehow time seemed to stand still, I felt as if we had stepped outside of the constraints of time and space all together. My whole being was filled with wonderment and peace. This man was a full blood native American, his connections with country deep seated and his wisdom, although founded in many ways on a very different background than my own; profound. I was filled with a sense of wonderment from the moment I met George and even today when I think of the time I spent with him, I can immediately "time travel" and connect with those feelings of wonderment.

Every day wondrous moments present themselves to us, I just wonder if we are able to recognise them. Maybe we can learn from children?
  "As a child, one has that magical capacity to move among the many eras of the earth; to see the land as an animal does; to experience the sky from the perspective of a flower or a bee; to feel the earth quiver and breathe beneath us; to know a hundred different smells of mud and listen unself- consciously to the soughing of the trees." (Valerie Andrews)

At times maybe it can be beneficial for us "grown-ups" to allow ourselves to be amazed, to be filled with a sense of wonderment, to enjoy something just because.......

To allow ourselves to listen to music with reckless abandon, to enjoy nature as she is without wanting to harness her, to spend time getting lost in something we love doing, to gaze at the starry sky without any thoughts of how, what, when, where, to enjoy a meal with a friend with all "i-thingys" turned off,

to just sit with the possibility that it's not necessary to know everything, to do like children and just go with the flow.

"As soon as man does not take his existence for granted, but beholds it as something unfathomably mysterious, thought begins." (Albert Schweitzer)

Albert Einstein suggests this: "The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and all science. He to whom this emotion is a stranger, who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is a s good as dead: his eyes are closed."   

The world is full of mystery and wonder as well as familiarity and certainty. Each human carries his/her own universe within, no two the same. Not knowing, but getting to know others universes, offers the possibility of much wonderment and mystery for all with eyes open.  

It's one thing to know all the properties of a strawberry, but why not eat it and experience the taste?

It's one thing to appreciate art, why not try to make some and experience the creativity?

It's one thing to talk about love, why not open the heart and experience it?

 

 

Uncertainty is the only certainty there is...

 

There are many gates, portals, entrances we must pass through in life. Some are small, difficult to get through, others much larger and a no problem at all to navigate, and then there are the other ones.

The ones we didn't know we were going through until we got stuck.

We know we need to go through and not stay stuck, we just don't know how to. The other side may seem too diffuse and uncertain, and what we left behind us although perhaps no longer relevant, seem more certain, and so we get stuck in between.

Uncertainty, for some of us is highly unsettling, and although not absolutely sure of our next move, sometimes the uncertainty makes us move in a direction, any direction, as long as it stops the feelings of uncertainty (stuck between the known and unknown). Some of us have a great tolerance for uncertainty, others very little, and many of us swing in between the two.

As humans, we seem to have a need for order. The world we inhabit is full of unpredictability, we are thrown curve balls and so we seek to find universal laws that will help us predict what our natural world will come up with next. For 350 odd years classical science has been steadily moving towards the goal of discovering these universal laws, and with the establishment of such we have been able to face the future with confidence and much creativity.

Question is though; imposing a universal law and trying to make the natural world bend to it may prove to be less helpful in dealing with uncertainty rather than if we were to keep  fairly flexible paradigms.

Expectations may be experienced as "reality", and although they feel like certainties, this may not necessarily be so. If what we expect, happens often enough, pretty soon we may begin to think it will/should always happen this way, and subsequently we may experience it as a "certainty".

So let us go back to being stuck in beween certainty and uncertainty, we know for certain (so we think anyway) what we have left behind, and before us lies the "unknown". Probably many of us will be tempted to begin the "what if?" game. What if we should have waited longer? What if we missed something? What if we didn't understand it correctly? What if it was just an accidental occurrence? What if she.....? What if he......? and so on. The unknown may now begin to look scary and and not at all exciting, so we get stuck. We may feel that we can't really turn back but, were not yet ready to step forward into uncertainty.

So we stay put.

Jim Carrey: "If you aren't in the moment, you are either looking forward to uncertainty, or back to pain and regret."

Erich Fromm: "The quest for certainty blocks the search for meaning. Uncertainty is the very condition to impel man to unfold his powers."

 

Amazing as it may seem, the good news is that uncertainty offers the possibility for hope.

What if we were to replace our expectations with plans? What we plan to do, is an action we have control over since we are the architects of those. We can plan to go to the beach, we can plan to apply for a job, we can plan to take a vacation, we can plan for our children to go to College, and so on. We can't know if this will really eventuate in the future but we can remain positive about the possibilities, and their potential outcomes, and follow our plans.

Uncertainty may well prove to be the very fertile "soil" in which we can plant our dreams, our hopes, our faith. Before a painting becomes a masterpiece, it is a blank canvas full of uncertainties but also a blank canvas teeming with possibilities and discoveries. Before a dream becomes an eventuality, it begins as an uncertainty.
Tony Schwartz: "Let go of certainty. The opposite isn't uncertainty. It's openness, curiosity and a willingness to embrace paradox, rather than choose "up" sides. The ultimate challenge is to accept ourselves exactly as we are, but never stop trying to learn and grow."

Each time we make our way through a "gate" of uncertainty, we discover new things about ourselves, the world we live in and share with others, and although some discoveries may be difficult, "Uncertainty is the only certainty there is, and knowing how to live with insecurity, the only security".(John Allen Paulos)

 

About tolerance.......

 

There are many different ways to use the word "tolerance", so I will speak only about tolerance as pertaining to learning to handle increasing levels of frustrations. What sets you off? What frustrates you the most? So, why do you think these things frustrate you?

There is a term in psychology "locus of control" and we have an internal locus of control if we believe we control our own destinies; if we believe the control lies with "outer" forces, or authority figures such as Fate or 'God', its called external locus of control.

If we believe in external locus of control, (possible we may never have thought about it in these terms)we may find it at times to be extremely comforting yet at other occasions, frustrating with feelings of powerlessness. Feeling powerless(helpless) is often a common cause for feelings of frustration resulting in faltering tolerance levels. If we feel we have no power to change a difficult situation; that we can not affect any change for improvement, then we often experience a sense of "helplessness" and frustration. Example: "What's the point in voting, what difference is one vote gonna make?" "What's the point in telling Smith that his way of speaking with me is offensive,... he's the boss." "What's the point in ........, nobody takes any notice anyway."

If we believe that forces outside of ourselves affect our ability to achieve our goals, such as luck, fate, i.e. authorities beyond our control, we have no stake in changes being made. At the same time as it may offer less pressure(stress of being successfull) to achieve, it also requires less effort on our behalf. Should we attempt to put forward a "change" and get knocked back, we also have a possible scapegoat; our powerlessness.(You can't beat City Hall)

With Internal locus of control, people believe that they are primarily responsible for the outcomes in their lives. According to studies, people with internal locus of control are more achievement motivated, they believe that changes can be made with hard work, and that the power of control rests to a large extent with the individual.

Noteworthy here is that very few people are singularly internal or external.

What frustrates you the most? What about it is frustrating? How do you usually deal with it?

Some of us have low frustration tolerance and seemingly unimportant events, minor life inconveniences, can trigger a reaction from us. Some one cuts in in front of you, the light bulb in the bathroom blows, the cat drops a dead mouse at your feet, the corner shop has no milk left, someone pinches your parking spot, etc. etc. These kinds of occurrences are common stance and maybe it is in our best interest to restrain our negative reactions. "That's easy for you to say", someone may respond, "but, how do you do it?"

Maybe a starting point can be to imagine how it could have been worse. The cat could have dragged in a live snake. Although the bulb is blown, you can still use the toilet, worse if the toilet was blocked and you had to get a plumber in. There is also the "exposure" (another psychological term) method, where you expose your self to bite size "frustrations" and bit by bit find a way of increasing your tolerance levels. When you are in these different situations, perhaps you can ask yourself why you are so frustrated to begin with, do the feelings of frustration, anger, irritation, etc. stem from a feeling of helplessness?

Sometimes reframing a situation can make a big difference to how we respond, such as viewing the experience from a different perspective, shifting the focus. I recently had to have some major dental work done and discovered that I was able to increase my tolerance for the treatment by counting backwards from 500. Shifting focus allowed me to be more tolerant of the pain and uncomfortability of having many sharp implements in my mouth. Sometimes just plain accepting the situation/event for what it is rather than struggling against it can increase our tolerance, other times maybe shifting focus will assist, and if the event is painful but unavoidable perhaps focus on breathing only.

Some difficult experiences can only be got through one minute at the time, and each successful passing minute offers the opportunity to increase ones tolerance levels.

Finding ways of increasing our tolerance levels may help us to increase our level of patience, and with more patience more acceptance, with more acceptance more contentment and enjoyment, with more contentment and enjoyment, more happiness.

 

"When you are discontent, you always want more, more, more. Your desire can never be satisfied. But when you practice contentment, you can say to yourself, 'Oh yes - I already have everything that I really need.'" (Dalai Lama)

"Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity."  (Melody Beattie)

 

"Acceptance of ones life has nothing to do with resignation; it does not mean running away from the struggle. On the contrary, it means accepting it as it comes........" (Paul Tournier)

 

 

 

Expectations affects the outcomes

"I have a dream......" Martin Luther King Jr  exclaimed with his majestic voice on the 28th of August 1963 at the Lincoln memorial in Washington D.C. Over 200.000 people listened as he spoke of hope, of forging forward in spite of difficulties, of following the pursuit of building a better society, of remaining united in the vision of everyones right to the pursuit of happiness.

On April 4th, 1968, his life was cut short by a bullet fired by an assassin. Martin Luther King Jr. was 38 years old.

For many people, Martin Luther King Jr, offered hope, raised expectations and consideration of possibilities maybe never entertained.

There are "drawbacks"(for lack of a better word) with hope, faith and expectations; vulnerability and the possibility of a "let down". Expectation in as much as it can feel like a "buzz", excitement and hope, maybe can be defined as: "looking forward with anticipation".

The first time you beat the computer expert at a chess game, you probably feel exhilarated, joy full etc. but how do you feel after the 15th time? Something happens with our expectations and corresponding feelings because something first considered amazing, unexpected, a boon, and often received with a sense of humility, quite often becomes an expectation experienced as a "right", a given, and instead of humility, our feelings can change into pride, maybe even self-righteousness. Put another way, our feelings may change from a sense of gratitude to ingratitude.

Do we not expect others to treat us fairly, if we treat others so? Do we not expect others to be on time if we always keep our appointments promptly? When we treat others politely, do we not expect others to treat us the same way?

I sometimes ponder where our expectations spring from. Is it an inalienable "right" to expect a life free from hardship, ill health, heart brake, disrespect, ridicule, unfairness ,etc.? And if it is a "right" then who dispenses this right, and why is it not given to millions of people who can not even except clean, fresh water to drink when they need it?

The difference between our expectation of how life should be and how life is, may present an insight as to our feelings of dissatisfaction. If we expect a life with ups and downs, with bad times just as often as good times,(insert here your own definition of the words), of times of just getting by, of love received and love lost, of promises kept and promises broken, of good health as well as times of illnesses, of hopes fulfilled and hopes dashed, if we expect life to contain experiences evoking a myriad of feelings, from inertia to jubilation and all in between, then maybe what is and what we want our lives to be, more often than not,......will intersect.

Expectation, hope, belief, anticipation,...now to the antonyms: doubt, miss trust, unbelief.

Some people say they prefer to not have any expectations, because that way they will not be disappointed, but isn't that an expectation also? An expectation can be "negative" or "positive" in nature. "They'll never make it", "He always stuffs it up", "She is never on time", "He never returns my calls",  etc.etc. Often with negative expectations, "absolutes" are used such as : never, always, all, forever, etc. which reiterates and reinforces the expectation.

Do we use the same absolute language for positive expectations?

Let's try it.......: "they always win, she's always on time, he always does it the right way, he always returns my calls"........Well, maybe we do.

According to the "Expectation Effect", our perception and behaviour change as a result of personal expectations or the expectations of others. Once a person believes something, the belief alone creates the possibility that it will happen.

So whether our expectation is negative or positive in nature, it may become self-fulfilling.

Some examples:

The Halo effect: an employee's performance is rated higher/better based of giving a positive impression rather than their performance

The Hawthorne effect: employees become more productive based on the belief that changes in their work environment will increase productivity

The Pygmalion effect: students perform better/worse according to the teachers expectations

Our expectations affect the outcomes.

"Your expectations opens or closes the doors of your supply. If you expect grand things and work honestly for them, they will come to you, your supply will correspond with your expectation."

Orison Swett Marden

"Uncertainty and expectation are the joys of life. Security is an insipid thing"

William Congreve

 If we remove the absolutes and instead use somewhat more ambiguous words, who knows what may happen?

"He did stuff up, but maybe next time he wont. She is often late, but let's just wait and see. So far he has not returned any of my calls, but maybe this time he will? They have lost the last few games, but today is another day, perhaps today it will all work out for them."

Exchanging the absolutes connected with our expectations for words of ambiguity, may open a path for us to experience our lives with more contentment and satisfaction, and to join with Anne Frank in her thought: "How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world".

 

 

 

Is observation free from evaluation?

"To observe without evaluating is the highest form of intelligence" Krishna Murti writes.

Look at this image....why is this woman crying? Is she crying? Why is she sitting at the curb, and what is written on the piece of paper in her hand? In the cup on her left side, what is in it? Where is she sitting, in a terminal, at a bus stop, outside a drugstore?

When we are observing something, someone, what are we actually doing?

According to Collins Thesaurus: study, monitor, investigate, ponder, check, look on, etc. or Wikipedia: receiving knowledge from the outside world through the senses, recording data using scientific instruments.

There is something called the "observer effect" that I will touch on later, for now I will just ponder what happens when we observe. Have you ever noticed that when we observe, or look at something, we seem to start a narrative. As a visual artist I deal with this issue very often. It seems as if the minute we look at a painting, many of us start a narrative of what the painting means, depicts, etc. Figurative art is easy, but what to do with non-figurative? How do we make a narrative out of seemingly random, meaningless pigments on a canvas? Jackson Pollock, loved by some, and disliked by many, conveyed a totally different aspect of painting; the process; and the narrative, (if any), belongs with each viewer of the work. (It always does but in the case of abstract painting more so than figurative it seems)
                             Having a "narrative" for many of us offers cohesion, i.e. making sense out of it all, so when we for instance see an old woman sitting on the ground crying, we may try to find an answer, a story, explaining to ourselves the behaviour, since the behaviour is not a common place occurrence. (Crying is usually done in private) Many times we have "narratives" which we are unaware of directing our views, passing out judgement so to speak, for us however, it feels like "that's how it is" and we often experience the narrative as "the truth". To change a narrative takes much effort, new interpretations and new information. Some years ago Harrison Ford portrayed a man who through an incident lost his memory, ("Henry")and had to start all over to discover who he is. His wife would inform him of what his likes and dislikes were because he no longer knew, but as time progressed he found it harder and harder to go along with the information, because it was no longer true for him. Losing his memory, he lost his narrative and he no longer viewed the world the same.
                                          Understanding other people's narratives helps us to understand their choices, opinions, attitudes and lifestyles, and understanding often encourages in us a greater sense of compassion. Context often paves the way for a less judgemental and more open interpretation of others, but if nothing else, it offers insight. To observe without judgement, to suspend any opinion, to not attach a narrative, is difficult for most of us. Our own narratives are so very real to us that to entertain the notion that it may not be the only "truth", can be very challenging. Maybe all we can do is to begin by suspending our judgement until we know all the variables....entertain all possibilities, and err on the side of charity.
   "People's minds are changed through observation not through argument". (Will Rogers)
   "The service of philosophy, of speculative culture, towards the human spirit is to rouse, to startle it to life of constant and eager observation".  (Walter Pater)

                        Observation affects the observer, how the information then is digested 
                        depends on the observers narrative.

ps: for those of you interested in more aspects of observation, may I suggest looking up
     "The Observer effect".....areas such as IT, Physics and Psychology.

Is talking the same as communicating?

The assistant gets called in to the managers office and is told: "I don't think we're communicating

here because.............." . The husband complains to his wife: "I don't know what's going on with Rudy, he never communicates with me".  The student loves art classes because she feels that the art teacher is a really good communicator. What does the word "communication" mean? Well, it comes from the latin word communis which means "to share". Basically it means an activity of conveying information. We do it through exchanging thoughts, information, messages either through the written or spoken word, how we behave, body language and signals, and it requires a sender and a receiver.

What we often tend to forget is that what the sender sends as a message will be interpreted by the receiver, the receiver then applies their meaning to the message. It's not what the message does to the receiver, but what the receiver does with the message, that determines how successfully it was communicated.

Thanks to technology we now have a vast array of methods of communicating, but more and more there seem to be signs of side effects. Every mechanical/electronic medium we use to keep in touch with each other, somehow also manages to keep us apart. Why get face-to-face when its so much easier to just email, text, twit, facebook, chat etc.? (We seem to be supplied with more and more ways of staying away from one another. We can do all our sports in the living room, travel the world, go to concerts, watch movies, do our shopping etc.)

If we equate communication with data-transfer, then using "i-thingys" may seem the obvious way to go, but what about sharing the "meaning" of the message? Does speed and immediacy always necessarily rank higher than personal face-to-face communication?

For instance, have you ever found yourself wandering around mega stores confused and bewildered and wishing for a "real" person to talk to, to ask where you can find that item you're looking for?

Have you ever been in a telephone queue waiting, hoping for a "real" person to speak with? Have you ever found yourself wondering about an sms, email your friend/partner sent you, and what they really meant?

Have you had people asking you the same question? How would you prefer being told really good or bad news, in person or via an "i-thingy"?

Can we keep our sense of belonging in/to a community when we spend more time with machines/devices than with people? Being part of a community encourages us to be aware of others, to feel a sense of responsibility, a connection to something more than ourselves, so maybe we need to be careful that our love affair with the "i-thingys" doesn't perpetuate fragmentation of the community and isolation of the individual.

How will our patience with others be affected when we have become accustomed to communication taking place at warp speed? The more fantastic and speedy the non-personal media of communication become, is there not a temptation for us to isolate ourselves more and more from "real" communities, invest less in getting to "know" people or maintaining existing close personal relationships?

Is machine-based information transfer really equal to face-to-face communication?

Face-to-face communication is not a single simple event, it is often quite slow, it is a process of sharing with another human being, it is the development of a relationship, and warp speed does not apply.

Language is a system of symbols which we use to express meaning. Meaning is not in the language itself, but in the minds of those using language to share their ideas. Does a frog know its a frog?

It may seem as if meaning is in the words themselves if we have learned to use particular symbols to express particular ideas or meanings, but the word is empty so to speak, until we attach our meaning to it. We may both say "the sky is blue" but your blue and my blue is most probably very different. The fact that we may agree that the sky IS blue is due to us both having learned to use those particular symbols to express particular ideas and/or meanings. On an individual level, we still interpret what "blue" means to us.

It is not the message(the words used) that we are communicating which determines how successful we are, but rather what meaning (interpretation of words )the receiver attaches to the message, that determines the outcome of the communication. Did we understand each other?

Collins Thesaurus defines to communicate: to talk, speak, correspond, make contact, report, transmit, publish, proclaim, convey, etc. and communication: conversation, correspondence, intercourse, link, connection, relations, etc.

Talking can be the same as communicating, maybe we just need to be cautious so we don't transmit rather than talk, report rather than converse, proclaim rather than speak with...

Whether we call it communicating or talking, hopefully it always includes the possibility for a mutual understanding and a good relationship between the sender and the receiver.

 

"Electric communication will never be a substitute for the face of someone who with their soul encourages another person to be brave and true". (Charles Dickens)

 

"To effectively communicate, we must realize that we are all different in the way we perceive the world and use this understanding as a guide to our communication with others". (Tony Robbins)

 

"Communication is two-sided - vital and profound communication makes demands also on those who are to receive it... demands in the sense of concentration, of genuine effort to receive what is being communicated". (Roger Sessions)