How important are words?

 

 

How important are words?  Imagine a world without them. How would we communicate? Hmmm.........not very easily. There are many ways to communicate, but don't we still convert our experiences in to words? How would we know what we think, feel or experience if we did not have words to describe/define those experiences for us? So we use words to identify/specify what we experience, but do we define those words the same way? If I say "I'm angry", you may call it "irritated", if I say "I'll see you soon", soon may be anything from 10 minutes to a few days for you, "good" for me may be "content" for you, and so on. Everything we say is open to interpretation by others, everything we write, although so very clear to us, can be misunderstood. (Even as I write this, you may find yourself already disagreeing with my words :)Have you ever written an email, an sms, and received a response which puzzled you? You thought you were saying one thing but the response from the recipient indicated that it was interpreted differently.

Language is ambiguous, interpretation highly subjective, and add on top our vulnerabilities and proclivities and its miraculous that we do understand each other as often as we do. One word can have many definitions, many interpretations, add to this perceptions and what feelings we are experiencing at the moment that the word is used, not to mention the conscious or subconscious intent.

For instance, the actual truth of how others see us is less important than our perception, because our identity is defined by our truth about ourselves, not necessarily by accepted reality. If we are anxious, the more likely we are to "mind read" according to our own negative inner text and not according to the rules of an intelligent life. We don't have to actually be strange, vague, shy, etc, only think we are and we can become sensitive to any indications, reflections, hints we think we are picking up from others confirming our self-critical subtext.

Our emotional state can become like a "filter" and without us really being aware of it, we put all words through it. How does it affect you when you're irritated and flushed and someone says: "Calm, be calm"? Or when you're anxious and worried about a friend being uncommonly late and someone tells you: "Don't worry, it will be alright"?

Or when you just want to be quiet in a corner by yourself and someone keeps asking you to join in?

Respectively, for someone feeling anxious, having a friend gently saying: "calm, focus on being calm" may be what helps the anxiety to pass. Words used for a two-way communication; the "sender" and the "receiver"; have many hurdles to overcome but there are a few words that I have found to be immensely helpful for efficient communication: "How do you mean? What is your definition of the word? Can you please explain how you see it? I'm not sure I understand, would you mind explaining it for me? Maybe I misunderstood, can you tell me again please? Would you care to clarify, please?"

Equally, I have found some words to be unhelpful: "You're wrong, You're not getting it, or sentences including always, never, everybody, nobody, all", in short absolutes with no room for flexibilities.

"Whatever words we utter should be chosen with care for people will hear them and be influenced by them." (Buddha)

"In a sense, words are encyclopedias of ignorance because they freeze perceptions at one moment in history and then insist we continue to use these frozen perceptions when we should be doing better."

                                                               (Edward de Bono)

"So difficult it is to show the various meanings and imperfections of words when we have nothing else but words to do it with."

                                                                (John Locke)

Us humans go about naming things, but does a frog know it's a frog, or will it be less of a frog if it's called a groda? Giving something a word, does that make that something more "real" than before it had a word attached to it? And if there were no words for our emotions would we still experience them? What came first, the word or the thought?

 

"Watch your thoughts, they become your words

                                             Watch your words, they become your actions
                                             Watch your actions, they become your habits
                                             Watch your habits, they become your character
                                             Watch your character, it becomes your destiny." (Anonymous)

 

We have choices, we chose what words we will use, and although we may not know if everyone else define the words the same way we do,

we can ask.

 

"When you are listening to somebody, completely, attentively, then you are listening not only to the words, but also to the feeling of what is being conveyed, to the whole of it, not part of it."

 (Jiddu Krishnamurti)

 

(the painting is called "Death of a Remmington" and written on the piece of paper is: "I used to be touched and heard")