Judging by the amount of literature written on the subject of love, it seems it is very important for us humans. According to some, nothing else is more important. There are many different kinds of expressions of love, so I will limit myself to only one kind; romantic love. What is romantic love? you may well ask and as far as I can ascertain from my own experiences, others recollections, songs, poems, etc.; it is a concept as varied and subjective as taste. Some have said: "you'll know it when it happens to you", others have said "It's like finding the missing part of your soul", "It's like becoming obsessed, you want to be with him/her all the time" and so the list goes on. Is romantic love about the other, about what I feel when I am with the other, about what the other "does" for me, or something else all together? When we go in search for that person who will make us feel "whole/content/appreciated/connected" etc. is that about a relationship, validation, human contact, intimacy,closeness, etc.etc., about receiving, about giving, or both or something all together different? Many have expressed it as: "looking for my soul mate". If we do find our soul mate, do we know that he/she will remain so forever? Do we want it to last forever, is "forever" even a possibility in matters of the heart? Absolutely, some will say, maybe, I hope so, it's worth a try, or "better to have loved and lost than never having loved at all". Some will testify to the transforming qualities inherent in "loving", of lives becoming more meaningful and fulfilling, due to sharing it with someone with whom they have a deep and reciprocal relationship with. Others express feeling a sense of wholeness, feeling understood and appreciated in a profound way. Love, it seems, can be a very powerful emotion.
For love to be "real" love, and not just an infatuation, a crush, a fleeting moment of a collapse of ones ego barriers, etc. are there certain criteria that has to be met? How do we recognize "true" love? Maybe this passage of words written a very long time ago and attributed to Paul of Tarsus will be of assistance: "Love is patient, love is kind, love is not envious or boastful, arrogant, or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful. It does not rejoice in wrongdoings, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends."
Could it be that no "looking" is necessary, is it possible that we begin with the stance of being "loving" and love will find us?
"Ask not what love can do for you, but what you can do for love."
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