Loneliness ........is not the same as solitude.

-Loneliness?

-Yeah. What does it feel like?

-I think it's something we may all experience differently.

 For me, it's a feeling of standing naked on one leg 

facing everything I'm scared of whilst trying very 

hard not to fall.

-For you it feels like a balancing act?

-At times. Yes. 

A balancing act between solitude;

choosing one's own company,

and loneliness; 

not choosing one's own company.

Let me explain.

Some say that although us humans are more ''connected''

now than ever before, yet somehow, we are lonelier.

According to those in the know we are spending less

actual face time with others, friends, and family. 

We are also less involved in volunteering and

similar NPO's activities.

Some suggest that technology has replaced some of our

interactions that used to involve human to human

connections being made. This has contributed

to an increase for many of us to experiencing periods

of feeling lonely and ''left out''.

Are we perhaps experiencing going through some

 sort of technological detachment ''era'' since smartphones

and i-thingy's have made ''detachment connections''

so palatable and acceptable by just the touch

of a fingertip?

''Sorry, I was................ on my phone."

Some suggest that loneliness is a state of mind,

a human emotion that is complex and unique

to each of us. It's not necessary about being alone

but more so about feeling alone and left out.

Although it is possible to feel lonely in a crowd and

crowded when alone.

A person may desire to have more human to

human contact but due to a number of different

reasons such as anxiety, lack of confidence and or

self-esteem,  he/she may find it difficult to engage. 

When or if our social connections don't match with our

expectations thereof, we may find ourselves withdrawing

in to ourselves and by doing so often creating a downward spiral.

But here's some good news: Expectations can be changed.

And to do so we need to begin with asking ourselves:

Where do my expectations come from and do I really agree

with them?

Are my expectations helping me or holding me back?

If I am seeking to establish more deepfelt and authentic

friendships should I perhaps try:

''The best way to find a friend is to become one.''

(?)

Now to solitude.

''Solitude is the richness of self.''

(May Sarton)

Solitude in my view, is choosing to

spend time with one's self. 

It is balancing social time with time spent in

self-reflection, thoughtful introspection, stepping

in to the ''Zone'' whilst doing something one feels

passionate about, getting ''lost'' in books and or music, 

pondering some of the many wonders of life and living, 

remembering things to be grate/thankful for.

Taking the time to observe everything around one's self,

the smells, the sounds, the colours, the textures.

''Solitude is about being present with one's self

-------- it is not about the lack of company.''

(Citizen Z)

about the image: acrylic on canvas 

some editing in Elements

''Keeping the balance''