''Fear is temporary, regret is forever.''
''I can't do it, it's too scary'' the little boy cried.
The father tried to comfort and encourage the boy as best he could
to help the boy overcome his fear.
Suddenly the boy's older sister(about 11-12) kneeled next to
the boy and whispered in his ear: ''Fear is temporary, regret
is forever. You can do this.''
Young as the boy was, somehow those were the words
he needed because he stopped crying, stood up straight and then
went to face his fear.
What the little boy did was amazing. Strapped into a harness
he climbed up a 10 meter skinny pole until he reached the top.
Balancing on the very small platform at the top he took a
deep breath and then with outstretched arms...... he jumped.
Wow!! Watching this unfold on the TV I felt touched
by the little boy's bravery and his sister's words...
etched forever in my memory.
Recently I heard a man say: ''Fear, although we often equate it
with being a ''bad'' emotion, is foremost, ......just information.''
Is it though? Just information?
Hmm, I'm not so sure.
Fear may be information as to that it informs us that danger
is coming our way. It also informs us to take action as in; flight,
fight, play possum/freeze(dead) or try to appease/placate
our way out of danger.
However, having pondered this for a while, it dawned on me
that fear can also be defined as ''an unpleasant emotional response
triggered by the perception of danger/threat,
real or as imagined.''
How does one physically fight or flee from a perceived threat?
For those of us suffering with GAD(generalized anxiety disorder)
PTSD, panic attacks and or other anxiety related issues, fear
in my view, is much more than information.
When in the grips of it(fear) it can make us feel dizzy, find it hard to
breathe, feel as if we have lost control of our minds, bodies and
grasp of reality.
Everyday there are people rushed to hospital thinking that
they are having heart attacks only to be told by the doctor
that they are just having a panic attack.
Just? For those of us who have experienced a panic attack,
or a PTSD attack, there is nothing just ''just'' about it.
It's terrifying.
But, and this is good, there things we can do to
better learn how do deal with and manage our fears.
Waking up in fright one night, heart pounding and mind
racing my ex partner sat up in bed, looked at me sternly
and then said: ''What's the time? Ah, 4:15 in the morning.
So, right now, is there anything you can do about what is
making you so anxious?''
-No, I guess.
-Well then, as you can't do anything right now about it,
go back to sleep and then when you can actually do something,
do it.
And with those words my ex went back to sleep.
Those words have helped me through many, many,
many dark and stormy nights.
When worry comes knocking on the door, send logic to
answer it, I have deduced.
Right now my son and I are going through a very difficult
and worrisome time which at times fills both of us with
fears of all kinds. In desperation one night searching for something to
say to my son that could help calm him I paraphrased
my exe's words: ''It's night right now, everything is closed.
First thing tomorrow we'll sort it, okay?''
Logic before emotions. My son calmed.
Fear, whether perceived or actual, feels real.
Through the years I found a few helpful questions
to ask myself if I am panicking or overly worried
that I would like to share with you.
Do I have any evidence that what I am fearing
is based in reality?
Am I safe/in a safe place right now?
Have I dealt with something like this before
and successfully overcame it?
Right now, is there something I can do
that will help me?
Fear is temporary, regret is forever.
If fear comes knocking on your door,
send hope and faith to answer it.
Anne Frank, was a Jewish young girl who lived in
Amsterdam, the Netherlands, during the Nazi occupation.
On her 13ths birthday she was given a diary which
she brought with her when she and her mother
went into hiding in an attic.
For the duration of her time in the attic she
wrote down her thoughts and experiences
in her diary.
Amazingly, although going through such an extremely anxious
and life threatening situation, her diary is full of
hope and a zest for life.
''How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single
moment before starting to change the world.''
''Despite everything I believe that people
are really good at heart.''
''In the long run the sharpest weapon of all
is a kind and gentle spirit.''
Unfortunately, her hiding space was discovered and not long
before the war ended so did Anne's and her mother's lives.
Fortunately for us, a friend managed to save her diary
and by publishing it, her diary/book can be read by anyone
who is interested. (The Diary of a Young girl)
''The final forming of a person's character
lies in their own hands.''
about the image: ink on canvas
all quotes by Anne Frank
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