Living the Blues..........................

The Blues.

Music that comes straight from the inner most

parts of a human being.

''Gimme a pig foot and a bottle of beer'' Bessie Smith

(famous Blues singer)wailed on the old record player(gramophone)

 and from the first time I heard it, I was hooked.

Before there were vinyl records, there were Bakelite

records, also called ''78's''. In Sweden, where

I come from, they were called ''Stone Cake''

records.

Not long before my father passed away he handed

me a box of his prized 78's records.

As I browsed the content of the box, I was

overcome by childhood memories.

Those records are one of the reasons that

at the ripe old age of five, I decided that I was going 

to become a jazz & blues musician when I 

grew up.

Fast forward a bunch of years.>>>>>>>>

When I was doing a stint in the USA some years ago

 performing with some heavy-weight jazz musicians, one

night Cleve(Cleve Eaton, double bassist with among

others Count Basie's Orchestra and Ramsey Lewis)

 looked quizzically at me and asked: -How come a

little blue-eyed, white-haired kid growing up in

the suburbs of Stockholm ''gets'' the blues and jazz?

(I had told him that I had decided as a five year

old that I was going to become a jazz & blues musician.)

-Uhh, I really don't know Cleve, I just know that

from the moment I listened to my dad's old 78's

jazz and blues records, I had found a music that

knew and expressed everything that was 

in my heart and soul.

That's the thing with the Blues, it's raw, it's honest,

it tells it like it is.

Sometimes with words, sometimes with just instruments,

the Blues tells a story.

A story of what it feels like to be a human. 

When we cry when we laugh, when we love

when we grieve, when we're lonely when we're lost,

when we're happy when we're sad.

The Blues reminds us that we're not alone

when we suffer, when we struggle, when we feel

all alone.

''Every bad situation is a blues song

waiting to happen.''

(Amy Winehouse)

As a child, I used to try to get as close to the sound

I made on the piano as I could.

For hours I would press the keys searching for

sounds that responded to and expressed my feelings.

I discovered that music is a wave of emotion and

experiences in sounds that at times couldn't

be described with words.

''Music, [whatever the genre,] expresses that which

cannot be said and on which it is impossible

to be silent.''

(Victor Hugo)

about the images: top: Ink on paper

Billie Holiday, Lady sings the Blues

bottom: Graphite on paper

Light is more than a photosynthesis.........

Have you ever thought about ''light'' and how amazing it is?

I don't mean in a photosynthesis kind of a way, although

that's amazing too, no, I mean in the way light at times

can illuminate something ''ordinary'' in such a way that

it suddenly becomes extraordinary.

Extraordinary beautiful, amazing and enchanting.

Suddenly the rain stopped.

I put down my book on the table.

A sun beam touched my face and made

me look out through the window.

Hanging on to the edge of a leaf was 

a drop of water. Engulfed with sunlight

the drop glistened and sparkled like

the finest crystal. The beauty of that

drop, at that moment, had me breathless.

What I should have done was to grab my camera

and take a picture of it but I was so enthralled that

I just sat there and watched the drop until it fell

off the leaf.

That experience made me realize how beauty can be 

found in the most unexpected places and unexpected

situations.

This is a photo of some grass growing on the side

of my entrance. There is nothing special about

the grass, but for a brief second the sunlight fell on it

in such a way that it made it extraordinarily beautiful.

This time, I took a photograph of it.

The top image is a photo of broken pieces of glass

on top of a white chalked wall.

What made me stop and take a photo of those broken pieces, 

was the way the sunlight fell on them.

Somehow a broken beer bottle on a white background

 had become an impromptu, beautiful,

 ''art installation'' in my eyes.

Light is a form of energy, a type of electromagnetic

radiation that allows our eyes to ''see'' things.

However, what we see varies from person to person

as what we see, is filtered through our biases, perceptions

and cultural experiences.

Enjoying an art exhibition with a friend, suddenly before

us was a huge, yellow installation. (Really huge!)

It had an entrance at one end of it so I walked

in to it. As I found my way through it I was filled

with a sense of awe. Actually, I felt as if I had entered some 

sort of a cathedral....a blow-up yellow cathedral 

entirely made out of plastic. 

And the light, mmmm .........the light inside the installation 

was comforting, peaceful and calming. 

I don't really know how much time I spent in the cathedral,

but when I emerged from it my friend

was gone.

Later, when I finally caught up with her, I asked

her what she thought of the ''yellow cathedral''.

-Cathedral? What cathedral? Oh, you  mean that

yellow plastic monstrosity? she said.

Alas, we saw the same thing very differently.

In my view, 

just as light can turn something ordinary into

something beautiful and extraordinary, so can poor/dull/bad 

lighting turn something ordinary into something scary/

threatening/unwelcoming.

If we are seeking to find beauty in the ordinary, 

then a mindset that looks past the obvious subject

matter(thing/person/etc.) is very helpful as is patience and 

a bit of imagination methinks.

Have you ever used a kaleidoscope?

It's quite amazing.

With each turn a new beautiful image appears

as you hold it up to the light.

about the images: photos taken with an old Canon,

 the kaleidoscope image, watercolor on paper

some editing in Elements

Lonely people cast no shadow.............

 ''Les solitaires ne jettent aucune ombre.''

(Lonely people cast no shadow.)

Lonely people cast no shadows.

That's why it is so easy

not to see them.

Lonely people cast no shadows.

That's why it is so easy

not to hear them.

Lonely people cast no shadows.

That's why it is so easy

to just ignore them.

Lonely people cast no shadows.

That's why it is so easy

to look down on them.

Lonely people cast no shadows.

That's why it is so easy

to misjudge them.

Lonely people cast no shadows.

That's why it is so easy

to forget about them.

Lonely people cast no shadows.

That's why it is so easy

to disregard their tears.

Lonely people cast no shadows.

That's why it is so easy

to dismiss their humanity.

(Citizen Z)

''All the lonely people/Where do they all belong?'' 

Lennon - McCartney ask in their song ''Eleanor Rigby''.

A good question methinks.

Some say that although we may be more ''connected''

now then before we came up with the Internet,

paradoxically, we are apparently also lonelier.

According to Dr. Elias Aboujaoude, a Stanford University

psychiatrist: ''Internet-related technologies may give us

the perception of connectedness, the truth however he says,

is that the time and energy we spend on social media etc. comes

with the cost of missing out on more genuine and supportive

friendships.''

Numerous studies have found that spending a lot of time on

 social media can lead to feelings of depression, inadequacy

 and isolation as we compare our lives with everyone 

else's carefully edited versions.

Due to my son's illness I find myself spending a lot

of time in a variety of waiting rooms.

Doing so I have noticed that I am usually the only

one not scrolling or browsing (on) my phone.

I may be wrong, but sometimes I wonder if it is not

possible that our phones may create invisible barriers,

''bubbles'', which makes it possible for us to 

remain in our own ''worlds'', oblivious/unaware of 

the many splendored activities and bustling ''life'' that's

taking place everywhere, all the time, and all around us.

There are many places where we have to wait for our

turn.

At the shops, in banks, the dentists, the doctors, in hospitals,

in restaurants, in coffee shops, at the movies, at the bus stop

the train station, the airport etc. etc. etc.

Could these places not be viewed as excellent opportunities

for making new connections?

For making someone ''visible'' who may be feeling invisible?

The barista handed me my coffee. I still had half an hour to

kill. I scanned the food court and noticed an elderly woman

sitting alone slowly stirring her hot drink and staring into

nowhere. There was an air of sadness about her.

I decided to overcome my shyness and say something to her.

-Do you mind if I share this table with you? I asked.

-Please do, she said and then continued: -I haven't

spoken to a soul for days and I could do with a bit of

company.

Although once having been rebuked by someone for

starting conversations with ''strangers'', I have decided

that there are no strangers only potential friends

 I'm yet to meet.

''One of the most important things you can do on this earth

is to let people know they are not alone.''

(Shannon L. Alder)

about the image: graphite on paper, some editing in Elements

Oh, the reason for the French title is that I met a nice

 French speaking woman while waiting for my

son to have an ultra sound done on his heart. 

She translated it for me and it just sounded soooo good.

Fear is temporary, regret forever......................

''Fear is temporary, regret is forever.''

''I can't do it, it's too scary'' the little boy cried.

The father tried to comfort and encourage the boy as best he could

to help the boy overcome his fear.

Suddenly the boy's older sister(about 11-12) kneeled next to

the boy and whispered in his ear: ''Fear is temporary, regret

is forever. You can do this.''

Young as the boy was, somehow those were the words

he needed because he stopped crying, stood up straight and then

went to face his fear. 

What the little boy did was amazing. Strapped into a harness

he climbed up a 10 meter skinny pole until he reached the top.

Balancing on the very small platform at the top he took a

deep breath and then with outstretched arms...... he jumped.

Wow!! Watching this unfold on the TV I felt touched

by the little boy's bravery and his sister's words...

etched forever in my memory.

Recently I heard a man say: ''Fear, although we often equate it 

with being a ''bad'' emotion, is foremost, ......just information.''

Is it though? Just information?

Hmm, I'm not so sure.

Fear may be information as to that it informs us that danger

is coming our way. It also informs us to take action as in; flight,

fight, play possum/freeze(dead) or try to appease/placate

our way out of danger.

However, having pondered this for a while, it dawned on me

that fear can also be defined as ''an unpleasant emotional response 

triggered by the perception of danger/threat,

 real or as imagined.''

How does one physically fight or flee from a perceived threat?

For those of us suffering with GAD(generalized anxiety disorder)

 PTSD, panic attacks and or other anxiety related issues, fear

in my view, is much more than information.

When in the grips of it(fear) it can make us feel dizzy, find it hard to

breathe, feel as if we have lost control of our minds, bodies and

grasp of reality.

Everyday there are people rushed to hospital thinking that

they are having heart attacks only to be told by the doctor 

that they are just having a panic attack.

Just? For those of us who have experienced a panic attack,

or a PTSD attack, there is nothing just ''just'' about it.

It's terrifying.

But, and this is good, there things we can do to

better learn how do deal with and manage our fears.

Waking up in fright one night, heart pounding and mind

racing my ex partner sat up in bed, looked at me sternly

 and then said: ''What's the time? Ah, 4:15 in the morning.

So, right now, is there anything you can do about what is

making you so anxious?''

-No, I guess.

-Well then, as you can't do anything right now about it,

go back to sleep and then when you can actually do something,

do it.

And with those words my ex went back to sleep.

Those words have helped me through many, many,

many dark and stormy nights.

When worry comes knocking on the door, send logic to

answer it, I have deduced.

Right now my son and I are going through a very difficult

and worrisome time which at times fills both of us with

fears of all kinds. In desperation one night searching for something to

say to my son that could help calm him I paraphrased

my exe's words: ''It's night right now, everything is closed. 

First thing tomorrow we'll sort it, okay?''

Logic before emotions. My son calmed.

Fear, whether perceived or actual, feels real.

Through the years I found a few helpful questions

to ask myself if I am panicking or overly worried

that I would like to share with you.

Do I have any evidence that what I am fearing

is based in reality?

Am I safe/in a safe place right now?

Have I dealt with something like this before

and successfully overcame it?

Right now, is there something I can do 

that will help me?

Fear is temporary, regret is forever.

If fear comes knocking on your door,

send hope and faith to answer it.

Anne Frank, was a Jewish young girl who lived in

Amsterdam, the Netherlands, during the Nazi occupation.

On her 13ths birthday she was given a diary which

she brought with her when she and her mother

went into hiding in an attic.

For the duration of her time in the attic she

wrote down her thoughts and experiences

in her diary.

Amazingly, although going through such an extremely anxious

and life threatening situation, her diary is full of

hope and a zest for life.

''How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single

moment before starting to change the world.''

''Despite everything I believe that people

are really good at heart.''

''In the long run the sharpest weapon of all

is a kind and gentle spirit.''

Unfortunately, her hiding space was discovered and not long

before the war ended so did Anne's and her mother's lives.

Fortunately for us, a friend managed to save her diary

and by publishing it, her diary/book can be read by anyone

who is interested. (The Diary of a Young girl)

''The final forming of a person's character

lies in their own hands.''

about the image: ink on canvas

all quotes by Anne Frank