Wednesday 17 May 2023

Turning pain into a creative expression........


''But what is it supposed to mean?'' is a question I have often
been asked by people viewing some of my art works.
More often than not I would answer with: ''Well, what do you think
it means?'' followed up with ''It means whatever you think
it means''. 
Standing in front of a large white canvas for the first time
I felt such a sense of freedom that I decided to ''hang
rules and techniques''. I was just going to paint intuitively.
Having spent years improvising in music, why not do
the same when painting?
This is one of my earliest paintings and I began
painting it by deciding to slop on some blue and
green on the canvas. (Probably because I was listening to
a Miles Davis tune by the name ''Blue in Green'' at the
time.)
I grabbed a bit of charcoal, did some ''improvising'',
 and then as if out of nowhere and right before my 
eyes ...........the boy appeared. 

One of the most wonderful aspects of art in my view,
is that (I believe) it is a subjective experience. 
I find that how we experience artworks is often affected 
by our emotional state at the time of viewing/listening
to them.
Another wonderful thing about art is that it
works so well as a symbolic language.
As in: ''A picture paints a thousand words'', music can
sound like the rushing wind, the roaring ocean, the
flight of a bumble bee, etc. etc. etc..
A poem/song lyrics can describe our inner most thoughts
and feelings with the use of but a few words.
A single photograph can for example 
capture a historic/epic/extraordinary moment
in time.
With words we can create imaginary worlds, universes,
beings, etc. etc. etc......
Having said this, let me give you the title for the
painting at the top: ''Heartbreak.''

Huh? you may say.
Why not ''The red chair''?
Let me explain.
As a kid my family used to spend our summers at our
summer cottage. It was a wonderful place full of
all sorts of wild berries, marvelous hiding spaces and
best of all....waterfrontage with a jetty to either
sunbathe on or jump off.
Occasionally we (the kids) would be allowed to invite
a friend to come and stay with us, and as we grew
older, even boy/girlfriends.
The summer I turned 17 the love of my life (and
also my first love) broke up with me.
It affected me so much that no matter how much
the sun shone brightly, the water in the lake glittered and 
sparkled, for me, summer ended abruptly and autumn 
 arrived with all it's muted and solemn dark colours.
(the background of the jetty)
I felt alone (the red chair), empty and isolated (the blue
outline around the chair) in my pain.
Hence the title ''Heartbreak.''
(I hope this makes sense to you, but if the painting
means/depicts something totally different to you,
I respect that.)

After the summer was over and the family returned home,
I decided to channel my emotions through music.
The piano became my love, my friend, and my comfort
in the storm.
A year or so later I was accepted into a sought after (respected)
 Music school. My life as an artist had begun.

Years later..... my very creative teenage son is experiencing
his first heartbreak. Remembering how awful I felt when
I experienced it, I was determined to find something
at least a bit helpful to say to him.
As he was already a budding artist, this is what I blurted
out: ''Paint the pain, write it out, say it with music,
say it with photographs. Pain when expressed creatively
can become a piece of art, pain when repressed or 
dwelled upon, can make you a prisoner to the dark.''

''Art is an outer expression of an inner experience.''
(Citizen Z)

''Creating artwork allows your mind to be in a safe
place while it contemplates the tougher issues you
 are dealing with.''
(George E. Miller)

about the images: acrylic on large canvases
Title of 2nd image: ''Blue in Green''

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