Did you know that in spite of all the bombs that were dropped
on London during the II World War somehow the
Saint Paul's Cathedral still managed to survive?
I find that amazing.
And....having lived in the UK for a couple of years, the image
of the Cathedral standing proud in the midst of an almost devastated
city made me ponder if not perhaps the image could be viewed as
a fair visual representation of ''resilience''.
So what do I mean with resilience?
Basically adaptability.
''Keeping calm and carrying on.''
What makes some people able to cope with one tragedy
after another and somehow still manage to grow stronger?
What makes some people not able to?
Take pearls for instance...the oyster (or freshwater mussel)
secrets layers of aragonite and conchiolin in defence against
parasites or other foreign bodies which results in the
formation of beautiful(in humans eyes) pearls.
While protecting itself against its foe the oyster created
something new, something beautiful.
I read somewhere that 85% of the people interviewed
about bullying, said that they had been bullied on and off
while going through their school years.
Some said the experience played a part in them becoming
more guarded, more cautious, and less trusting.
Others said that the experience made them more determined
to reach their goals, to turn their suffering into resilience,
and to become ''better'' human beings.
If we get pushed down, we do have the choice of deciding
whether we are going to stay down or to get up.
''The difference between stumbling blocks and stepping
stones is how you use them.'' (Unknown)
Watching a doco on how the Londoner's coped during
the Blitz, I was amazed and inspired.
Though the sirens hooted over and over, those gritty, amazing
Londoner's grabbed their kids, blankets, thermos flasks with
sweetened tea, whatever bit of food they had, their
amazing sense of humour and headed down the steps
to the underground shelters. Sometimes they had to
stay down there for days on end, coping the best way
they could.
''Staying calm and carrying on'' as they had been instructed.
The Blitz went on for about eight months and caused
unimaginable destruction to everything above ground.
And yet, every time the ''all clear'' hooter went, the Londoner's
emerged from the underground, rolled up their sleeves
and got to work.
A resilient lot those Londoner's methinks.
Though there may be different opinions on whether
resilience is something we are born with or not,
most agree on that it is something we can learn and
become better at.
Current thinking is that resilience is not just the ability to
be able to cope but also that it helps us to grow and
thrive in our lives.
When we go through difficult times we can choose how
to respond.
We can choose to get angry, bitter, push people away, blame ourselves,
wallow in our pain or just pretend that everything is okay.
We can also choose to change our narrative, how we describe
to ourselves what we are going through.
We can't always change events but what we can choose
is how we will respond to them.
Resilience is not achieved/learned by feeling good all the time,
resilience is achieved/learned by getting better at feeling bad.
''Joy is a friend, but pain is a teacher.''
(When in the middle of a difficult time what can be very helpful
I find is to avoid rumination, as in: not engaging in a loop
of negative thoughts.)
''Resilience is accepting your new reality, even if it is less
good than the one you had before.
You can fight it, you can do nothing but scream about what
you've lost, or you can accept that and put together something
that is good.''
(Elizabeth Edwards)
Right now I am going through a very difficult time, probably
one of the worst. For some unknown reason, the word ''tiny'' suddenly
seemed to pop up here, there, and everywhere.
Hmm,....what did that mean?
I decided that it meant for me to deal with my troubles
by taking tiny steps.
Starting with tiny aphorisms such as:
Tomorrow will be a better day.
So, you who are reading this right now and may also be going
through a tough time:
Keep calm and carry on.
Tomorrow will be a better day. 😎
about the image: Acrylic on a large canvas
One of my black and white cloth paintings, as in
painting with a cloth not a brush.
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