Bipolar disorder is not an attitude, it's an illness..........

Bipolar disorder is a mental illness also known as manic depression.

Although the exact cause of it is not known, it causes extreme mood

swings ranging from the lowest low to the highest highs.

I don't know what it is like to suffer with bipolar, I only

know what it is like to live with someone who suffers with it.

In my case, that someone is my son.

Loving and living with a bipolar sufferer is in my view often

an emotional rollercoaster ride.

I never really know when the next crisis will take place

so I live in a constant state of heightened awareness. I try

to be observant of potential ''triggers'' that may upset or anger

my son so I try to chose my words very carefully.

Little things can quickly become big things so I have had to learn to

assess my son's state of mind before I talk about things that

 may seem ambiguous to him.

Trying to figure out what goes on in the mind of someone

with bipolar disorder I realized that just like my mind is my

''normality'' the same goes for someone with bipolar.

I no more really understand or ''get'' how my son thinks about

things then he does about how I or anyone else thinks.

Bipolar disorder is a neurological illness that changes the way 

the brain operates. It can affect the way it processes information,

feelings, and thoughts. It can also affect impulse control, balance,

speech, and motor skills.

 (Brain chemicals serotonin and norepinephrine are often

affected in someone with bipolar disorder.)

Right now my son is going through a really difficult episode.

He is convinced that he is dying from some mysterious illness.

He is obsessing, ruminating, can't sleep, is dizzy, etc, etc.

Two visits to two different ER's has not calmed him

although the doctors could not find a cause for his concern.

All I have to offer in comfort is to listen and try to come up

with ideas of where next to seek help.

For me, bipolar disorder is like hanging on to the tail

of a tiger at full sprint, it may however stop at any time,

 turn, and tear your heart out.

(The reason for the title is that often the behaviour

of someone with bipolar disorder gets confused

with a bad attitude and selfishness.)

about the image: pastel, charcoal and ink on brown-ish paper.