Why do we scream?
There may be a bunch of different reasons as to why one may
scream, but in general I guess we mostly do so to be sure that
we are being heard.
Although, the volume at which we speak does not necessarily
indicate the importance or weight of the words being spoken.
(It should be said though, loudly spoken words usually
get more attention than softly spoken ones.)
Speech communication (talking) involves a sender,
a message, and a receiver.
Just bear with me here.....the thing with saying things,
is that what someone says(sender) and what someone hears(receiver),
can be very different things (the message).
Sender: Did you take out the rubbish bin?
Message: Did you take out the rubbish bin?
Receiver: Why are you asking? I always take out
the rubbish bin!
Sender: I'm only asking because it's so full and it stinks.
If you hadn't, I was just going to do it myself, that's all.
As for repeating the same mistake over and over, this is one
that I seem to have a problem with correcting.
I keep forgetting that the message that I think I am sending
may not be the message that the receiver hears.
While I was doing a course on crisis counseling a few
years ago it became abundantly clear to me how important
it is to make sure that the message the receiver hears is
the same message that I, or whoever the sender is,
intended to send.
It can be easy to forget that words are not absolutes,
rather, they are mere approximations, coloured, and interpreted
according to an individual's understanding of them.
''You look nice today" you may say to someone
who may then proceed to respond with: ''So there are days when I don't?''
What? What happened? How did a simple innocuous message
turn into a ''critical'' one? What did the receiver hear?
Is this perhaps about semantics?
I am referring here to the branch of linguistics and logic
concerned with ''meaning''. In short, the meaning of a word.
A: ''Can you please lower your voice?''
B: ''Define lower please, because if you want me to whisper
why don't you just say so?''
A: ''I'm going to be a bit late tonight.''
B: ''Late as in 30 minutes, two hours, what?''
The English language is excellent in many ways, but it can
also be extremely ambiguous and confusing at times methinks.
(At this stage in my life I find that there are very few words
that can't be misunderstood one way or another.)
I just wanted to be real..........as in? Not virtual?
I am telling the truth........as in? According to what you believe
or what you know?
For instance, did you know that
there are 25 different meanings to the words: keep, round, see,
sound etc. and 37 for the words: close, get, right?
About the meaning of words... language, when it comes down
to it, in my view, is a mere system of symbols which we use to
express meaning. Meaning, is not in the language itself,
rather, meaning is in the minds of the people who uses
language to share their experiences, ideas, feelings, etc.
with each other.
It may seem as if meaning is in the word itself but perhaps
it may be more useful to think of words as ''empty vessels''.
Take the word real for instance. Nowadays this saying
is very common: ''Let's be real.'' What may the word real
mean in this sentence? It could mean: real as in honest, as
in speaking from the heart, as in facts and figures, etc.
Alas, the meaning of a word is not in the word itself, but in
the meaning ascribed to it by both by the sender and
the receiver. Hence, we often misunderstand each other.
It's not what our message does for the receiver,
but what the receiver does with our message,
that determines how effective we are at exchanging
our ideas and experiences with others.
Sender: ''I feel lost.''
Message: I'm not sure of my direction in life right now.
Receiver: ''Lost in what way?''
Message interpreted by receiver: ''Lost as in himself or as
in what his next move is?''
Sender: ''Lost as to whether I should look for another job or not.''
Receiver: ''Well, what's your options?"
If the sender and receiver happened to be in a car when the
conversation took place, the receiver could have just responded with:
''Well, what does the GPS say?''
One of the most important lessons I learned when I was doing
the crisis counseling course was to get out of the habit of
assuming.
Don't assume that you know what someone
means, ask what it means to him/her.
Don't assume that the message you are sending is the
message the receiver receives.
Hearing and listening are two different things.
Hearing we do with our ears, listening we do with our
ears and our minds.
''Most people don't listen with the intent to understand;
they listen with the intent to reply.''
(Stephen R. Covey)
''It is possible to hear music
yet not understand it.
If we want to understand it,
we need to listen.''
(Citizen Z)
about the image: Coloured ink, graphite, on paper edited in Photoshop
ps: sorry about the spacing...not intentional, a ghost in the machine
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