''Seek not to be popular, rather seek to be good and popularity will find you.''

What makes someone ''popular''?

Money? Looks? Status? Smarts? Physical prowess? etc. etc.

For many of us the word ''popular'' may instantly transport

us back to our schooldays. Those days when most of us

wanted to belong to ''the cool group'', to ''the most popular'',

to ''those'' always invited to all the parties, those who always

had the coolest, newest stuff.

The way we experienced our own ''popularity'' ranking to be during

(especially but not only) our high school years often seem to leave

an indelible mark on our soul. 

Being viewed as a popular person, whether we like to admit it

or not, is something many of us desire. 

And thanks to Facebook, Twitter, etc. etc. etc. that desire

can at times be satisfied. ''Yay! Ten thousand likes on my post!! or

yay, I have 30.000 followers on Twitter.''

I was not a popular person through my school years, I was

definitely classified as a ''freak''.

In short, school for me was agony until I was accepted

into the Conservatorium of Music and suddenly found

myself surrounded by other ''freaks''.

(Although, even there some people were more popular

than others, however, rather than popularity being based

upon ''luck of the genetics draw'' (looks, status, money, etc.)

it seemed to depend more on good communication skills, attitude, 

friendliness and musical abilities.)

Why is popularity so important to us humans?

Through much research done by scientist into the subject of 

popularity they have learned that it is something of a

paradox. Though it may be a fundamental desire

in human nature to be popular it doesn't necessarily mean

that it is always good for us.

Although one may think that most popular people are

happier people, that is not always the case.

This, some suggest, is because there are different types

of popularity.

Popularity founded on status as in being well known,

being able to bend others to his or her will, being ''cool'',

is different to being popular due to ''likability''.

Likability as in being kind, caring, supportive etc. etc.

Failing to recognize the difference between these two

different types of popularity can have long lasting consequences.

A person's status can suddenly change whereas a persons

likability often stays the same.

Status and likability does not only belong to our

school years, they also belong to our adult social hierarchy.

Popularity, in my view, is very much a part of the adult ''playground''

and it can affect productivity and innovation, atmosphere and

cooperation at a workplace. 

In between gigs(music) I used to work as a warehouse worker.

Sometimes picking orders, sometimes packing orders, sometimes

both. It was often very physically taxing, consisted of long hours and 

for me, most of the time exceedingly boring.

 To make the job a little less boring I would

try to find new and more efficient ways of doing my job.

This made me very popular with the bosses, but most unpopular

with my co-workers. ''Why are you working so hard? You

get paid either way'' my co-workers would tell me.

I would try to explain to them that it was just my way of

trying to make the time go faster, but my explanation was

never accepted. I decided that my worth as a human being

did not depend on others opinion of me, rather, it depended on

my opinion of me.

Basing our self-worth on being liked by others, or being ''popular'',

or having lots of followers on social media, can be risky.

A slip of the tongue, a momentarily mad rant, an overly sarcastic 

remark can potentially change our status or likability in the 

blink of an eye.

(Us humans are fickle, we are quick to judge but slow to forgive.)

Some people are popular because they are inherently kind, generous,

friendly, open-minded, funny, etc. etc., in short, being with

or around them makes us feel good.

Some people are popular for more superficial reasons such as

they are ''cool'', they are ''hot'', famous, infamous, wealthy,

have lots of followers, etc. etc.

Marilyn Monroe died alone in her home on August the fifth

1962 of a drug overdose. She was only 36 years old.

An icon and one of the most famous of all movie actresses, she

died alone. Being popular did not protect her from loneliness,

nay, her popularity perhaps was a contributing factor in

preventing her for forming stable, meaningful, and 

long lasting relationships.

''Seek not to be popular, rather seek to be good

and popularity will find you.''

(Citizen Z)

''It's much easier on the emotions when one sees

life as an experiment rather than a struggle for popularity''.

(Criss Jami)

''It's quite naive to believe that popularity is the remedy

for loneliness. Loneliness does not necessarily equal

physical solitude, it is the inability to be one self

and rightfully represented as oneself.''

(Criss Jami)

about the image: graphite on paper