It's not someone's age that makes someone old or young, it's his/her mindset.

Old? Nah, age is just a number so some of us may say.

Another thing some of us may say is; you're only as old as you feel.

Then there are some of us who'll use whatever method we can find

to keep old age at bay.

Old, may I suggest, is one of those contentious words that keep on

changing meaning as we live and grow through life's many different

passages.

''I'm not old, I'm mature, like a good bottle of red(wine).''

''I would prefer to be viewed as elderly rather than old, please.''

''I'm not old, I'm a senior.''

As I am getting on in years, I am finding that I often compare

myself to a car. As in: As long as the engine is healthy, a few dings and 

 a bit of rust here and there matters less. (A ''rust bucket'' with

a Porsche engine in my view is definitely preferable to the

other way around.)

The ''oil'' which no engine can do without, for me, that ''oil'' is; keeping

 an open mind and keep learning and attaining new information.

In my view, life contains of a number of different ''passages''.

And every passage we go through in life, offer us unique opportunities

to grow in wisdom, insight and understanding.

Some say that old people are set in their ways, unwilling to

embrace the ''new'', and perhaps this may be the case for

some of us, but in my view that does not necessarily have to do 

with how old someone is, rather, it depends on an 

individual's mindset.

I often watch a show called ''Millionaire hot seat'' which is just

a very generic kind of Quiz show but I still enjoy watching it.

What I have started to notice is how often competitors

in the age bracket 20-something to 30-something begin

their answers with ''that's/was before my time, but....''.

For me this is a very strange thing to say.

Is it meant to be some sort of disclaimer?

''I wasn't born then so why/how should I know?''

This puzzles me because when one is in one's 20's/30's, 

basically everything before one's birth is what is called

history, and history is taught in most schools.

(I was not alive in 1865, but I still know that that was when

the American Civil war ended, ... for instance.)

''If you don't know history, then you don't know anything.

You are a leaf that doesn't know it is part of a tree.''

(Michael Crichton)

History is more than dates, places, wars, inventions, buildings,

kings and queens, catastrophes, etc. etc. etc.

History, as I view it, provides context not only to the past but

also to the present.

''Those that fail to learn from history are doomed to repeat it.''

(Winston Churchill)

In cultures that glorifies youth it can be difficult for older

people to feel that they matter, that they are still valued

and appreciated for what they contribute and have contributed.

We need to get rid of unhelpful stereotyping and stop paying too much

attention to ''isms''. (Ex: Boomers are responsible for todays troubles. 

Aka: ''agism'')

The aging process is an inevitable part of living and basing 

our treatment of our fellow human beings simply on

how many years he or she has lived could in my view

potentially rob us of unique opportunities for gaining a greater 

insight and understanding of what it is to be a human.

''I rather be an old VW Beetle with a Porsche engine

than a Porsche with an old VW engine.''

(Citizen Z)

''The wisest young is the young who can look at the

world through they eyes of the elderly.''

(Mehret Murah ildan)

''The wisest elderly is the elderly who can look at the

young through the eyes of a youth.''

(Citizen Z)

''Of course I know how old I am!

Well, I know when I was born.

I don't like doing the math so I usually just

ballpark it.''

(stuff i wrote down)

about the image: photo titled ''Bathing beauties''

Stay visible, put on a bathing suit!

What we say and what someone hears us say, can be very different things.......

Why do we scream?

There may be a bunch of different reasons as to why one may

scream, but in general I guess we mostly do so to be sure that

we are being heard.

Although, the volume at which we speak does not necessarily

 indicate the importance or weight of the words being spoken.

(It should be said though, loudly spoken words usually

get more attention than softly spoken ones.)

Speech communication (talking) involves a sender, 

a message, and a receiver.

Just bear with me here.....the thing with saying things,

is that what someone says(sender) and what someone hears(receiver), 

can be very different things (the message).

Sender: Did you take out the rubbish bin?

Message: Did you take out the rubbish bin?

Receiver: Why are you asking? I always take out

the rubbish bin!

Sender: I'm only asking because it's so full and it stinks.

 If you hadn't, I was just going to do it myself, that's all.

As for repeating the same mistake over and over, this is one

that I seem to have a problem with correcting.

I keep forgetting that the message that I think I am sending

may not be the message that the receiver hears.

While I was doing a course on crisis counseling a few

years ago it became abundantly clear to me how important

it is to make sure that the message the receiver hears is

the same message that I, or whoever the sender is,

 intended to send.

It can be easy to forget that words are not absolutes,

rather, they are mere approximations, coloured, and interpreted

according to an individual's understanding of them.

''You look nice today" you may say to someone

who may then proceed to respond with: ''So there are days when I don't?''

What? What happened? How did a simple innocuous message

turn into a ''critical'' one? What did the receiver hear?

Is this perhaps about semantics?

I am referring here to the branch of linguistics and logic

concerned with ''meaning''. In short, the meaning of a word.

A: ''Can you please lower your voice?''

B: ''Define lower please, because if you want me to whisper

why don't you just say so?''

A: ''I'm going to be a bit late tonight.''

B: ''Late as in 30 minutes, two hours, what?''

The English language is excellent in many ways, but it can

also be extremely ambiguous and confusing at times methinks.

(At this stage in my life I find that there are very few words

that can't be misunderstood one way or another.)

I just wanted to be real..........as in? Not virtual?

I am telling the truth........as in? According to what you believe

or what you know?

For instance, did you know that

there are 25 different meanings to the words: keep, round, see, 

sound etc. and 37 for the words: close, get, right?

About the meaning of words... language, when it comes down

to it, in my view, is a mere system of symbols which we use to 

express meaning. Meaning, is not in the language itself, 

rather, meaning is in the minds of the people who uses 

language to share their experiences, ideas, feelings, etc.

with each other.

It may seem as if meaning is in the word itself but perhaps

it may be more useful to think of words as ''empty vessels''.

Take the word real for instance. Nowadays this saying

is very common: ''Let's be real.'' What may the word real

mean in this sentence? It could mean: real as in honest, as

in speaking from the heart, as in facts and figures, etc.

Alas, the meaning of a word is not in the word itself, but in

the meaning ascribed to it by both by the sender and 

the receiver. Hence, we often misunderstand each other.

It's not what our message does for the receiver, 

but what the receiver does with our message,

that determines how effective we are at exchanging

our ideas and experiences with others.

Sender: ''I feel lost.''

Message: I'm not sure of my direction in life right now.

Receiver: ''Lost in what way?''

Message interpreted by receiver: ''Lost as in himself or as

in what his next move is?''

Sender: ''Lost as to whether I should look for another job or not.'' 

Receiver: ''Well, what's your options?"

If the sender and receiver happened to be in a car when the

conversation took place, the receiver could have just responded with:

''Well, what does the GPS say?''

One of the most important lessons I learned when I was doing

the crisis counseling course was to get out of the habit of

assuming.

Don't assume that you know what someone

means, ask what it means to him/her.

 Don't assume that the message you are sending is the

 message the receiver receives.

Hearing and listening are two different things.

Hearing we do with our ears, listening we do with our

ears and our minds.

''Most people don't listen with the intent to understand;

they listen with the intent to reply.''

(Stephen R. Covey)

''It is possible to hear music

yet not understand it.

 If we want to understand it, 

we need to listen.''

(Citizen Z)

about the image: Coloured ink, graphite, on paper edited in Photoshop

ps: sorry about the spacing...not intentional, a ghost in the machine

''Seek not to be popular, rather seek to be good and popularity will find you.''

What makes someone ''popular''?

Money? Looks? Status? Smarts? Physical prowess? etc. etc.

For many of us the word ''popular'' may instantly transport

us back to our schooldays. Those days when most of us

wanted to belong to ''the cool group'', to ''the most popular'',

to ''those'' always invited to all the parties, those who always

had the coolest, newest stuff.

The way we experienced our own ''popularity'' ranking to be during

(especially but not only) our high school years often seem to leave

an indelible mark on our soul. 

Being viewed as a popular person, whether we like to admit it

or not, is something many of us desire. 

And thanks to Facebook, Twitter, etc. etc. etc. that desire

can at times be satisfied. ''Yay! Ten thousand likes on my post!! or

yay, I have 30.000 followers on Twitter.''

I was not a popular person through my school years, I was

definitely classified as a ''freak''.

In short, school for me was agony until I was accepted

into the Conservatorium of Music and suddenly found

myself surrounded by other ''freaks''.

(Although, even there some people were more popular

than others, however, rather than popularity being based

upon ''luck of the genetics draw'' (looks, status, money, etc.)

it seemed to depend more on good communication skills, attitude, 

friendliness and musical abilities.)

Why is popularity so important to us humans?

Through much research done by scientist into the subject of 

popularity they have learned that it is something of a

paradox. Though it may be a fundamental desire

in human nature to be popular it doesn't necessarily mean

that it is always good for us.

Although one may think that most popular people are

happier people, that is not always the case.

This, some suggest, is because there are different types

of popularity.

Popularity founded on status as in being well known,

being able to bend others to his or her will, being ''cool'',

is different to being popular due to ''likability''.

Likability as in being kind, caring, supportive etc. etc.

Failing to recognize the difference between these two

different types of popularity can have long lasting consequences.

A person's status can suddenly change whereas a persons

likability often stays the same.

Status and likability does not only belong to our

school years, they also belong to our adult social hierarchy.

Popularity, in my view, is very much a part of the adult ''playground''

and it can affect productivity and innovation, atmosphere and

cooperation at a workplace. 

In between gigs(music) I used to work as a warehouse worker.

Sometimes picking orders, sometimes packing orders, sometimes

both. It was often very physically taxing, consisted of long hours and 

for me, most of the time exceedingly boring.

 To make the job a little less boring I would

try to find new and more efficient ways of doing my job.

This made me very popular with the bosses, but most unpopular

with my co-workers. ''Why are you working so hard? You

get paid either way'' my co-workers would tell me.

I would try to explain to them that it was just my way of

trying to make the time go faster, but my explanation was

never accepted. I decided that my worth as a human being

did not depend on others opinion of me, rather, it depended on

my opinion of me.

Basing our self-worth on being liked by others, or being ''popular'',

or having lots of followers on social media, can be risky.

A slip of the tongue, a momentarily mad rant, an overly sarcastic 

remark can potentially change our status or likability in the 

blink of an eye.

(Us humans are fickle, we are quick to judge but slow to forgive.)

Some people are popular because they are inherently kind, generous,

friendly, open-minded, funny, etc. etc., in short, being with

or around them makes us feel good.

Some people are popular for more superficial reasons such as

they are ''cool'', they are ''hot'', famous, infamous, wealthy,

have lots of followers, etc. etc.

Marilyn Monroe died alone in her home on August the fifth

1962 of a drug overdose. She was only 36 years old.

An icon and one of the most famous of all movie actresses, she

died alone. Being popular did not protect her from loneliness,

nay, her popularity perhaps was a contributing factor in

preventing her for forming stable, meaningful, and 

long lasting relationships.

''Seek not to be popular, rather seek to be good

and popularity will find you.''

(Citizen Z)

''It's much easier on the emotions when one sees

life as an experiment rather than a struggle for popularity''.

(Criss Jami)

''It's quite naive to believe that popularity is the remedy

for loneliness. Loneliness does not necessarily equal

physical solitude, it is the inability to be one self

and rightfully represented as oneself.''

(Criss Jami)

about the image: graphite on paper